CeWEBrity Profile - Tisha UnArmed - Uncensored

  • Season 4, Ep 424
  • 10/16/2012
  • Views: 44,852
0 comments

Daniel talks to a girl with no arms and gives her a cooking show. (7:57)

>> AS YOU CAN SEE I DON'T HAVE

ANY ARMS.

TODAY WE'LL MAKE A PEANUT BUTTER

AND JELLY SANDWICH.

I USE A SPOON BECAUSE A KNIFE IS

TOO DANGEROUS.

GET A BIG GLOB OF PEANUT BUTTER

AND I'LL SPREAD IT ON MY BREAD.

THAT'S HOW YOU MAKE A PEANUT

BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH.

>> Tosh: ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW

WHAT, I'M GOING ORDER A PIZZA.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Tosh: THAT FUNKY TRUNK IS

TISHA AND SHE CAN ROCK A BET.

LIKE DEZ BRYANT SHE CAN DO

ANYTHING BUT CATCH A FOOTBALL.

I KNOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY

DISABLED INSTEAD OF HANDICAPPED

BUT HOW COME THEY WRITE

HANDICAPPED IN BIG BLUE LETTERS

IN EVERY PARKING LOT I'VE SEEN?

NO ONE DOES MORE THAN THE

HANDICAPPED COMMUNITY THAN ME.

I HAVE NO PROOF BUT I LIKE

SAYING IT WHICH MEANS IF I HAVE

KIDS THEY'LL COME OUT DEFORMED.

HANDICAPPED PEOPLE WEREN'T THE

ONLY ONES WITH A HANDICAP, MINE

IS THREE.

THANKS FOR FORCE KNOWING PLAY

GOLF, DAD.

THEY SAY IF YOU LOSE A LIMB IT

WILL BE IN HEAVEN.

THE QUEEN OF HANDICAPPED PEOPLE

WAS HELEN KELLER.

SHE WAS ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH SO

MUCH DESPITE THE FACT SHE WAS A

WOMAN.

THE BEST PART OF BEING

HANDICAPPED YOU NEVER HAVE TO

HEAR OTHER PEOPLE COMPLAIN.

NO ONE'S GOING TO WHINE ABOUT A

HEADACHE TO THE GUY WITH NO

SPINE AND EVENTUALLY YOU'LL GET

TO LIVE THROUGH YOUR AVATAR AND

SKULL [BLEEP] A CHICK WITH BLUE

HAIR.

AND TISHA DIDN'T NEEDED MACHINE

ELBOW ROOM SO I FLEW HER HERE

FOR THIS WEEK'S CE-WEB-RITY.

TISHA, I'M DANIEL.

>> COME ON.

>> Tosh: SORRY, YOU CAN'T CROSS

THE LINES BECAUSE HEALTH CODES.

GOT IT.

>> THAT'S BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE

ARMS.

>> Tosh: THAT'S A NEGATIVE

ATTITUDE.

IT'S BEEN A LONG DAY.

LET'S GET YOU OFF YOUR FEET.

WE HAVE A GROUPON FOR THE

MANI-PEDI.

SHE'LL TAKE THE PEDI.

I'LL TAKE THE MANI.

WE JUST SAVED TWENTY BUCKS.

POUND IT.

DO YOU GET TIRED OF NOT HAVING

ARMS?

>> YES.

>> Tosh: WHO DO YOU CALL PEOPLE

WITHOUT ARMS?

>> NORMS.

>> Tosh: IF YOU HAD ARMS WHAT'S

THE FIRST THING YOU WOULD DO?

>> GIVE SOMEONE A HIGH FIVE.

>> Tosh: OVERRATED.

WHAT THE COMMENTS ON THE VIDEOS.

>> ONE PERSON WROTE OOH I

WOULDN'T WANT THAT GIRL MAKING

ME A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY

SANDWICH.

>> Tosh: THAT'S PROBABLY BECAUSE

YOU USE GRAPE JELLY.

WHAT'S YOUR HARDEST DAILY

ACTIVITY?

>> MIGHT SAY GETTING DRESSED.

>> Tosh: HOW DO YOU HOOK YOUR

BRA.

>> I DON'T.

>> Tosh: THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO

HEAR.

NEED HELP DOING THAT?

>> I HAVE A CLASP.

>> Tosh: YOU THOUGHT OF

EVERYTHING.

>> I HAVE.

>> Tosh: YOU DON'T HAVE ARM

PITS.

DO YOU USE DEODORANT?

>> YES.

>> Tosh: DO YOU SWEAT A LOT IN

THE AREA.

>> NO.

>> Tosh: BUT YOU STILL PUT IT

ON?

>> I WANT TO FEEL LIKE I BELONG

WITH EVERYONE ELSE.

>> Tosh: [BLEEP] THAT.

WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY AND TIME.

DO YOU EVER PULL PRANKS ON

PEOPLE?

>> FOR HALLOWEEN I WENT TO

SPENCERS AND BOUGHT A PAIR OF

ARMS AND WENT TO THE MALL AND

LAID NEXT TO IT.

>> Tosh: RANDOM PEOPLE?

YOU'RE LIKE ANDY KAUFFMAN.

DO YOU CLAP OR CHEER.

IF YOU STAND IT WILL LOOK LIKE

YOUR RIVER DANCING.

>> IN KARATE I HAVE MY YELLOW

BELT.

>> Tosh: CAN YOU PUT EITHER ON?

>> NO

>> Tosh: HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN A

FIGHT?

>> NO, BUT I WANT TO BE.

>> Tosh: I'LL SLAP YOU AROUND.

DO YOU DRIVE?

>> YES.

>> Tosh: HOW SCARED WAS THE GUY

THAT GAVE YOU YOUR DRIVING TEST

WHEN HE GOT IN THE CAR WITH YOU.

>> THEY WEREN'T SCARED AT ALL.

>> Tosh: THEY WERE TERRIFIED.

YOU DON'T THINK HE TALKS ABOUT

IT EVERY SECOND OF HIS LIFE.

HOW DO YOU WIPE?

DON'T GET UPSET.

I NEED TO KNOW.

>> DON'T HAVE TO ANSWER THAT

QUESTION.

I NEVER ANSWER IT

>> Tosh: IT'S A MYSTERY.

>> TO EVERYONE.

>> Tosh: WOULD YOU DO A REALITY

TV SHOW?

I'LL PRODUCE ONE FOR YOU BUT

EPISODE ONE WE SEE HOW SHE

WIPES.

99 PROBLEMS.

TISHA, YOU MAY NOT HAVE ARMS BUT

YOU ARE A WOMAN AND THAT MEANS

YOU BELONG IN THE KITCHEN.

ARE YOU READY TO PROVE YOU ARE

HANDS-DOWN THE GREATEST ARMLESS

CHEF IN AMERICA ON YOUR OWN

COOKING SHOW.

>> YEAH, LET'S DO IT.

>> Tosh: OKAY, WE'LL GET THE SET

BUT IF YOU ARE GOING TO BE A

GREAT CHEF YOU NEED A PHRASE.

>> HOW ABOUT THAT'S HANDS-FREE

COOKING.

>> Tosh: HOLD ON TIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

.

>> WELCOME BACK TO SOUL FOOD.

>> Tosh: I GOT MY FINGER SHOES

ON.

>> LET'S CONTINUE WITH TONIGHT'S

DELICIOUS ENTRE.

HE'LL CRACK THE EGGS WHILE I

SHRED THE CHEESE.

>> Tosh: A LITTLE SHELL'S OKAY.

RIGHT?

YOU'RE A COCKY SON OF A BITCH

>> DANIEL, HOW ARE THE MEATS IN

BALLS COMING?

>> Tosh: GOOD.

THE THINGS TO REMEMBER IS HAVE

FUN -- UGH.

THE TWO MEATBALLS MADE ONE.

>> IT'S EASY ONCE YOU GET THE

HANG OF IT.

>> Tosh: I GOT IT STARTED.

>> THERE YOU GO.

>> Tosh: OH.

I THINK WE SHOULD GO WITH

MEATLOAF.

IT'S A LITTLE BLAND.

>> I'LL GIVE IT A LITTLE KICK.

DANIEL, WANT YOU GIVE THIS A

TASTE FOR US.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Tosh: I COULD TASTE THE KICK.

>> NOW WHIP THE CREAM WITH YOUR

EGG BEATER UNTIL YOU SEE PEAKS.

>> Tosh: I'D LET YOU TRY BUT I

DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO THIS.

THIS IS ACTUALLY VERY DIFFICULT.

THAT'S YOUR EGG BEATER.

ALL RIGHT.

WE GOT IT, YOU'RE GOOD.

>> SOUNDS LIKE IT'S TIME TO TAKE

THE PAN OUT OF THE OVEN.

>> Tosh: OKAY.

>> DON'T FORGET TO PUT ON YOUR

OVEN FLIPPERS.

>> Tosh: PUT ON YOUR OVEN

SLIPPERS.

IT'S THAT EASY.

>> THAT'S MY FAVORITE PART.

EATING WHAT WE MADE.

>> Tosh: MINE TOO.

>> MICROWAVED MAC AND CHEESE.

>> Tosh: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE

STUFF WE MADE?

>> DON'T WANT TO EAT THAT.

WE TOUCHED IT WITH OUR FEET.

>> Tosh: SOUNDS GREAT BUT JUST

NEEDS ONE THING.

A LITTLE KICK.

I CAN SEE OUR CREW SALIVATING.

GET OVER HERE GUYS YOU'LL WANT

TO EAT IT WHILE IT'S STILL WARM.

>> THERE WE GO.

>> Tosh: THERE DO YOU.

>> I FOUND A BAND-AID.

>> Tosh: GOOD, RIGHT?

>> FROM ALL OF US AT SOUL FOOD,

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