Web Redemption - Foul Ball Couple - Uncensored

  • Season 3, Ep 308
  • 03/01/2011
  • Views: 14,560
0 comments

Tosh helps a man who failed to defend his girlfriend from an incoming baseball get her back. (6:38)

>> OH, MY!

YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!

>> DON'T WORRY.

HER FACE WAS ALREADY KINDA

BUSTED.

[LAUGHTER]

WELL, YOU SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A

GLOVE INSTEAD OF A GIRLFRIEND.

THAT'S BO AND SARAH, AND WHEN A

FOUL BALL CAME SCREAMING TOWARDS

THE CHEAP SEATS, HE DID THE

SMART THING AND MOVED OUT OF THE

WAY.

IT'S NOT HIS FAULT HER REFLEXES

SUCK.

HE WAS ACTUALLY BEING

CONSIDERATE OF HER NEEDS.

HE WOULD HAVE BROKEN HIS HAND

TRYING TO CATCH IT AND NOT BEEN

ABLE TO PLEASURE HER LATER.

[LAUGHTER]

SORRY IF HE DIDN'T JUMP AT THE

CHANCE TO TAKE A LINE DRIVE TO

THE DOME.

HE'S YOUR BOYFRIEND, NOT YOUR

BODYGUARD.

WE ALREADY HAVE TO OPEN DOORS,

PULL OUT CHAIRS, CARRY YOUR

STUFF, KEEP PROMISES, LIE ABOUT

OUR PAST, TRY NOT TO STARE AT

YOUR SISTER'S BOOBS, LISTEN TO

YOUR AWFUL, POINTLESS STORIES,

AND PRETEND WE DON'T THINK YOUR

FRIENDS ARE EVEN MORE ANNOYING

THAN YOU ARE.

YOU WANT US TO CUT UP YOUR FOOD

TOO, YOU LAZY BITCH?

[LAUGHTER]

SORRY.

THAT WAS GETTING TOO CLOSE TO

HOME.

[LAUGHTER]

IN THE OLD DAYS, BEFORE WOMEN

KNEW ABOUT LATERAL MOVEMENT, MEN

HAD TO LAY THEIR JACKET DOWN

OVER PUDDLES.

OH REALLY?

YOU THINK I'M NOT GOING TO RUIN

MY LULU LEMON JUST SO YOU CAN

KEEP ONE OF YOUR 90 PAIRS OF

SHOES CLEAN.

LADIES, CHIVALRY ONLY EXISTS IN

TRAIN SONGS.

IT ISN'T DEAD.

IT'S JUST TAKING A VACATION

WHILE YOU FIGURE OUT THAT BEING

EQUAL BLOWS.

RAPPERS HAVE THE RIGHT IDEA.

FORGET ALL THE FORMALITIES AND

POUR CRISTAL ON BITCHES'

TITTIES.

THAT'S WHAT THEY REALLY WANT

ANYWAY.

BEING A GENTLEMAN IS SIMPLE.

JUST TRY NOT TO FINISH FIRST.

TRY.

THE TRUTH IS, I'M A ROMANTIC.

BO AND SARAH'S RELATIONSHIP

LOOKS LIKE IT'S IN TROUBLE.

THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT THEM OUT

FOR A LITTLE SPRING TRAINING IN

THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

[APPLAUSE]

>> WELCOME TO COUPLES

COUNSELLING.

TELL ME ABOUT THAT DATE.

TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

>> THEY HIT THE FOUL BALL.

I SAW IT COMING FAST.

I LOST IT.

I THOUGHT IT WAS GOING TO HIT ME

IN THE FACE.

>> WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SAY ABOUT

YOU?

>> PEOPLE SAY I WOULD HAVE TAKEN

IT.

YOU WOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

>> EVERY MAN IS FOR HIMSELF IS

WHAT I SAW.

>> YEAH.

>> HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP

GOING?

>> NOT SO WELL RIGHT NOW.

>> ARE YOU GUYS TOGETHER?

>> NO.

>> HOW LONG WERE YOU GUYS DATE

SOMETHING.

>> FIVE, FOUR --

>> SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> WAS IT GOING WELL?

>> WE HAD OUR UPS AND DOWNS.

>> WAS THAT DAY AN UP OR DOWN?

>> I THINK IT WAS AN UP.

>> DID YOU GET IN A FIGHT LATER

THAT NIGHT OVER IT OR --

>> NO.

>> DID YOU GET LUCKY THAT NIGHT?

>> YEAH.

>> AFTER FIVE MONTHS, YOU'RE

STILL INTO IT?

DO YOU GUYS STILL TALK?

>> NOT REALLY.

>> DO YOU STILL HAVE SEX?

>> YEAH.

ALL THE TIME.

>> NO.

THAT'S A LIE.

>> LAST NIGHT WE DID.

>> YOU DID HAVE SEX LAST NIGHT?

>> HE'S SUCH A LIAR.

HE'S SO FULL OF [BLEEP].

>> PLEASE, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE

IN MY OFFICE.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN WITH A BLACK

WOMAN?

>> NO.

BUT I WOULD BE WITH A

LIGHT-SKINNED BLACK WOMAN.

>> SARAH, HAVE YOU EVER BEEN

WITH A BLACK MAN?

>> HALF BLACK TWINS.

>> AT THE SAME TIME.

>> THAT'S A LIE, RIGHT?

I WANT TO BELIEVE IT.

I WANT TO BELIEVE IT.

IT'S TRUE!

>> IT'S TRUE.

>> IT'S A LIE.

>> ARE YOU DATING SOMEONE?

>> I DO.

I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND EVER

NOW.

>> WHY?

DOES HE HAVE GOOD HANDS?

>> WHAT?

>> CAN HE CATCH?

>> HE HAS PRETTY EYES.

HE'S TANNED SKIN.

HE'S A DENTIST.

>> I DON'T LIKE THIS NEW GUY SO

FAR.

I DON'T KNOW.

HE HAS GREEN EYES, FIRST OF ALL.

IS THAT FROM KAY JEWELERS?

>> FROM TIFFANY'S.

>> TIFFANY'S?

>> YEAH.

>> BO, YOU'RE STARTING TO LOSE

NOW.

>> HOW OLD IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

>> 17.

>> 15?

>> SEE WHAT HAPPENED ON THAT

ONE?

I DIDN'T KNOW SHE WAS 15.

[LAUGHTER]

>> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

>> SHE HAD A FAKE I.D. AND

EVERYTHING.

TATTOOS.

>> SO YOU CARDED HER?

>> NO, I DIDN'T.

SHE USED TO GO TO A CLUB WITH

ME.

LIKE 18 AND UP TO GET IN.

I NEVER THOUGHT NOTHING LIKE

THAT.

>> IS THERE ANY SCENARIO, SARAH,

WHERE YOU CAN SEE YOURSELF

TAKING BO BACK?

>> MAYBE.

>> WHAT WOULD SARAH HAVE TO DO

TO TAKE YOU BACK?

>> SHE WOULD HAVE TO CHANGE A

LOT OF THINGS.

WE WOULD HAVE TO GET ALONG MORE.

STOP FIGHTING.

>> I'M NOT CHANGING.

>> SEE, WHAT WOULD I TELL YOU?

>> I WOULD, I GUESS.

>> WHAT DO YOU MISS ABOUT EACH

OTHER?

>> THE PERSONALITY.

YOU'RE PRETTY SMILE.

>> NOW, BO, SAY SOMETHING NICE

ABOUT SARAH.

DON'T LOOK AT HER BOOBS.

>> I'M TRYING TO THINK OF

SOMETHING.

HANG ON.

[LAUGHTER]

>> I REALLY DON'T.

>> COME ON, SAY SOMETHING NICE

ABOUT HER.

>> I DON'T --

>> THIS ISN'T WORKING.

WE HAVE TO GO TO SOMETHING MUCH

MORE EXTREME.

SOMETHING I DON'T NORMALLY DO ON

A FIRST SESSION.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY BO CAN

REDEEM HIMSELF.

THAT'S BY DEFENDING SARAH ON THE

ASSAULT COURSE OF AMERICAN

GLADIATORS.

[APPLAUSE]

>> THE ONLY THING STANDING

BETWEEN YOU TWO AND HAPPINESS

EVER AFTER IS MALIBU AND LACE.

HOW ARE YOU, MALIBU?

>> WE ARE SO SWEET, BABY.

WE GOT SOMETHING REAL SPECIAL

FOR YOU.

>> HERE'S WHAT YOU NEED TO DO,

BO.

YOU NEED TO PROTECT SARAH.

DON'T LET HER GET HIT BY A

TENNIS BALL.

NOBODY GIVES A [BLEEP].

YOU NEED TO FIRE AT THAT SMALL

TARGET BEHIND THE GLADIATORS.

IF YOU DO THAT, YOU WIN.

THEN CROSS THE FINISH LINE.

AND THEY'RE OFF!

BO IS TAKING A POUNDING.

THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.

SARAH ALMOST GOT HIT.

THEY'RE AT STATION THREE,

GETTING READY TO FINE THE

CANNON.

AND IT'S A MISS.

>> CONGRATULATIONS, BO.

YOU PROVED YOURSELF OUT THERE.

HOW DID YOU FEEL?

>> IT HURT, BUT SHE WAS WORTH

IT.

>> NO WAY SHE'S NOT TAKING YOU

BACK NOW.

>> SARAH?

DON'T FEEL SO BAD.

NO ONE CAN RESIST MALIBU.

FROM ALL OF US AT AMERICAN

GLADIATORS, I'M DANIEL TOSH.

GOOD NIGHT.

Loading...