Web Redemption - Worst Comedian Ever

  • Season 2, Ep 217
  • 07/28/2010
  • Views: 140,031
0 comments

Tosh enlists the help of professionals to prepare the Worst Comedian Ever for a comeback performance on "The Arsenio Hall Show." (6:14)

THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

KNOCK KNOCK.

>> HEY, DANIEL.

>> YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO SAY,

"WHO'S THERE?"

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

DARRELL, FIRST I WANT TO WELCOME

YOU BACKSTAGE TO THE

WORLD-FAMOUS HOLLYWOOD IMPROV.

THIS IS WHERE ALL THE GREATS

HAVE GOTTEN THEIR START.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

STAND-UP COMEDY?

>> I'VE BEEN DOING STAND-UP

COMEDY FOR ABOUT FOUR YEARS.

>> WELL, HOW OLD IS THAT VIDEO?

>> EIGHT OR NINE YEARS OLD.

>> AND DID YOU PUT IT ONLINE?

>> YES, SIR, I DID.

>> WHEN DID YOU KNOW THAT IT

BECAME REALLY POPULAR?

>> WELL, WHEN I GOT A CALL, THEY

WANTED ME TO FLY OUT HERE TO LOS

ANGELES, AND I SAID, "OH,

[BLEEP]."

I SAID, "I GOT SOMETHING GOING

ON NOW."

>> THAT TAPE THAT WAS ONLINE,

WAS THAT IN FRONT OF A LIVE

AUDIENCE?

>> NO, THAT'S AT A -- THAT'S

LIKE A PUBLIC ACCESS CHANNEL,

LIKE, CARL'S STORE CABLE IN

BOWLING GREEN, KENTUCKY, AND

ANYBODY CAN GET ON THERE.

>> SO THAT WAS A TELEVISED

PERFORMANCE?

>> YES, SIR.

>> THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

WAS THAT YOUR FIRST TIME?

>> YES, SIR.

>> GOOD FOR YOU.

I DID STAND-UP FOR PROBABLY

SEVEN YEARS BEFORE I EVER TRIED

IT ON TELEVISION.

YOU WENT THE OTHER WAY.

OKAY, YOUR STRENGTHS HAVE TO BE

YOUR SET-UPS.

YOUR PUNCH-LINES SEEM TO BE

COMPLETELY NONEXISTENT.

DO YOU WORRY ABOUT THAT?

>> I DO.

I WORRY A LOT ABOUT IT.

>> DID YOU EVER READ ANY OF THE

COMMENTS PEOPLE WROTE ABOUT YOU?

>> YES, I READ A LOT, AND IT WAS

VERY DISTURBING.

YOU KNOW, SOME OF THE COMMENTS,

THEY WASN'T TOO -- THEY REALLY

MADE ME FEEL BAD, YOU KNOW.

>> THE WORST PART ABOUT BEING A

STAND-UP COMEDIAN IS THE TRAVEL.

ARE YOU GOOD AT TRAVELING?

>> YEAH, WHEN I GOT MONEY.

>> WHAT DO YOU LIKE TO EAT WHEN

YOU'RE ON THE ROAD?

>> MY FAVORITE FOOD IS BEANS AND

CORNBREAD.

I LOVE BEANS AND CORNBREAD,

'CAUSE I'M JUST A COUNTRY BOY,

YOU KNOW.

I LOVE BEANS AND CORNBREAD,

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG

WITH BEANS AND CORNBREAD.

IT FILLS YOU UP, YOU KNOW, SO I

JUST LOVE THEM BEANS AND

CORNBREAD.

>> TELL ME HOW YOU CAME UP WITH

THE NAME WORLD OF PICTURES.

>> WELL, BECAUSE FOR ONE THING,

I WAS IN THE PICTURES AND I WAS

IN THE WORLD, SO THAT'S THE

REASON WHY I CAME UP WITH IT,

THE WORLD OF PICTURES.

>> WHAT ABOUT WORKING ON A

CATCHPHRASE?

DO YOU THINK THAT COULD BE

SOMETHING THAT MAYBE WOULD WORK

IN YOUR ACT?

>> I THINK IT WOULD.

>> YOUR CATCHPHRASE COULD BE

BEANS AND CORNBREAD.

JUST AFTER EACH JOKE, JUST GO,

"BEANS AND CORNBREAD."

WE'RE GONNA HEAD OVER TO THE

FRIAR'S CLUB, DARRELL, SO YOU

CAN MEET A BUNCH OF GREAT

STAND-UP COMEDIANS AND THEY CAN

GIVE YOU ADVICE.

FIRST OF ALL, EVERYBODY, I

WANTED YOU TO MEET DARRELL.

>> HI, DARRELL.

>> FIRST OF ALL, I THINK YOU

SHOULD START OUT WITH A JOKE TO

BREAK THE ICE.

HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF

CHANGING YOUR FIRST NAME TO "I

REALLY"?

>> "I REALLY"?

>> I REALLY BLUETT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> TELL THEM WHAT I THOUGHT YOUR

CATCHPHRASE SHOULD BE.

>> BEANS AND CORNBREAD.

>> OH, THAT'S FANTASTIC.

>> ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

>> THERE, THERE!

THAT'S THE NAME, RIGHT THERE!

>> WHEN YOU DID THE BIT ABOUT

BIRTH CONTROL FOR MEN AND YOU

SAID WE ARE -- GUYS WERE IN BIG

TROUBLE, I DIDN'T GET THAT JOKE.

WHERE WERE YOU GOING WITH IT?

>> BECAUSE WE WANT TO GET US

SOME.

YOU KNOW, WHEN WE GET US SOME,

WE GONNA HAVE KIDS, RIGHT?

>> NOT SO MUCH.

>> YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS?

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HAVE KIDS

FOR?

EVERYTHING DOESN'T HAVE TO BE

TRUE.

YOU CAN EMBELLISH STUFF.

YOU CAN TALK ABOUT YOUR DOG,

EVEN IF YOU DON'T HAVE A DOG.

YOU CAN WALK DOWN THE STREET AND

JUST SEE SOMETHING AND GO --

PRETEND THAT'S YOUR LIFE, YOU

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

>> HEY, BROTHER, YOU KNOW, ONE

THING ABOUT COMEDY THEY FORGET

TO TELL YOU, IT TAKES MORE GUTS

THAN TALENT TO GET ON A STAGE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

>> MY ADVICE TO YOU WOULD BE,

UM, YOU MIGHT WANT TO BLINK.

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE THOUGHT YOU

WERE STONED.

>> I THOUGHT YOU WERE HIGH ON

DRUGS.

DO YOU SMOKE POT?

>> I HAVE DONE IT ONCE IN MY

LIFE.

>> YOU KNOW, YOU'RE ON TV RIGHT

NOW.

>> YES, I KNOW THAT, BUT YOU'RE

ON TV TOO, TALKING ABOUT YOU'RE

GAY.

[LAUGHTER]

>> IT'S HARD TO TOP ANT'S

BLINKING ADVICE.

AND THEN OTHERWISE, I THINK

YOU'RE FUNNY.

I'M TELLING YOU, THE STUFF YOU

SAID AT THIS TABLE RIGHT HERE,

YOU JUST SAY WHATEVER COMES TO

YOUR MIND.

I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE GONNA BE

A --

>> WE'RE GONNA WORK -- WE'RE

GONNA WORK ON IT TODAY.

WE'RE GONNA WRITE SOME MATERIAL,

AND WE'RE GONNA TRY SOME

DIFFERENT GENRES OF COMEDY.

I THINK A LOT OF THE ADVICE WAS

VERY HELPFUL.

>> I THINK I GOT GREAT ADVICE.

WHY DO M&MS COME IN DIFFERENT

COLORS?

THEY ALL TASTE THE SAME.

MY AGENT SENT ME ON AN AUDITION.

IN THE WAITING ROOM, THEY WAS

PLAYING ARCADE FIRE.

WHO LISTENS TO THAT BAND

ANYMORE?

THIS CLUB IS FOR TIGER WOODS.

IT HELPS HIM CONCENTRATE.

[MOTOR-BOATING]

I BELIEVE THAT THE OLYMPICS ARE

RACIST.

HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN SPEED

WALKING?

WHAT'S NEXT?

THE SHORT JUMP?

YOU KNOW WHAT THE WORSTEST THING

ABOUT A FAMILY REUNION IS, IS

SEEING ALL YOUR EXES.

OOH-WHEE, BUDDY.

>> DARRELL, I THINK WE REALLY

FOUND YOUR VOICE OUT THERE.

BUT WHAT WORKS BEST FOR YOU IS

DARRELL BEING DARRELL.

THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW, ARE YOU

READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT?

>> YES, I AM.

>> WELL, YOU'RE GONNA GET THAT

SHOT ON THE GREATEST TALK SHOW

OF ALL TIME.

>> IT'S ARSENIO HALL!

>> WELCOME TO A VERY SPECIAL

RECREATION OF THE ARSENIO HALL

SHOW.

LET'S FIND OUT WHO THE DOG POUND

IS TONIGHT.

THERE THEY ARE.

>> WHOO WHOO WHOO WHOO!

>> THOSE ARE THE PEOPLE WHO WISH

THE JEFF DUNHAM SHOW WAS STILL

ON THE AIR.

>> NO, NO, THAT'S NOT WHAT WE

ARE.

>> MY FIRST GUEST IS A YOUNG

COMIC WHO IS TAKING THE COUNTRY

BY STORM.

HE'S MAKING HIS NETWORK

TELEVISION DEBUT RIGHT HERE,

RIGHT NOW.

PLEASE WELCOME MR. DARRELL

BLUETT.

>> THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK

YOU.

I WENT TO THE MALL AND THERE WAS

THIS REAL FAT WHITE LADY TRYING

ON A MICKEY MOUSE SHIRT.

I'M A BLACK GUY, AND EVEN I

THOUGHT THAT SHE WAS TOO FAT.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE WAS SO FAT, WHEN SHE PUT THE

SHIRT ON, MICKEY MOUSE GOT

DIABETES.

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN, MICKEY HAD A CAMEL TOE.

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS LIKE, "YOU NEED A TOP,

HONEY.

GET OVER TO THE SPORTS CHALET

CAMPING SECTION."

BEANS AND CORNBREAD!

BEANS AND CORNBREAD!

BEANS AND CORNBREAD!

THANK YOU, AND GOOD NIGHT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> HE IS NOT THE WORST!

HE'S NOT THE WORST!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> YOU HAVE A SEAT RIGHT HERE.

LET ME ASK YOU A QUESTION.

YOU'VE BEEN IN HOLLYWOOD.

YOU'VE BEEN WORKING ON YOUR

CRAFT.

HOW HAS THIS TOTAL EXPERIENCE

BEEN FOR YOU?

>> OH, IT'S BEEN AWESOME, MAN.

IT'S BEEN GREAT.

AND MEETING YOU, IT'S EVEN BEEN

EVEN BETTER, YOU KNOW.

DREAMS CAN COME TRUE, AND

PRAYER, YOU KNOW, DO CHANGE

THINGS, YOU KNOW.

>> IT DOES.

AND YOU KEEP WORKING HARD ON

YOUR CRAFT.

TOUCH THAT.

YOU'RE NUMBER ONE, BROTHER, IN

MY BOOK.

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