Sports or Consequences

  • Season 5, Ep 501
  • 02/05/2013
  • Views: 137,123
0 comments

Daniel has a way to make those sleepovers with your bros more interesting. (2:29)

THAN HAVING A SLEEPOVERWITH YOUR BROS.

THE PROBLEM IS,THERE ARE NO LADIES

TO PLAY TRUTH OR DARE WITH.

ALL YOU GOT IS A BASEMENTFULL OF FLACCID WIENERS.

THAT'S WHY I CAME UP WITHA MANLIER GAME

CALLED SPORTSOR CONSEQUENCES.

TRIPLE 20 OR YOU GET TO CUTONE I.D. OR EVEN HALF

OUT OF THE LOSER'S WALLET.

YOU'RE UP FIRST.

OH.

- [groans]

- WHO HAS A TRIFOLDAS AN ADULT?

DRIVER'S LICENSEIS A HUGE INCONVENIENCE.

A CHASE VISA.

ANOTHER VISA.

UNIVERSITY OF ALABAMANATIONAL ALUMNI ASSOCIATION.

I THINK WHAT I'M GONNA DOIS CUT IT

SO THAT YOU HAVEAN ADULT WALLET.

NOW THAT'S A NORMAL WALLET.

MAKE A 3-POINTER

OR EAT A CREAMY, RICH PASTA DISHOUT OF A SANDBOX.

- OKAY.

- FOR TONIGHT'S SPECIAL,WE HAVE A PENNE PASTA

WITH A VODKA SAUCEWITH SOME SALMON.

[audience groans]

WOULD YOU LIKESOME FRESH PARMESAN?

- YEAH, PROBABLY. IT'LL HELP.- OKAY.

THERE YOU GO.- OKAY.

THAT WAS NOT PARMESAN.

[sand crunching]

[audience ohs]

YOU KNOW, WHAT'S NOT GOODIS THE SAND.

- [laughs]

A 30-YARD FIELD GOAL,

OR YOU HAVE TO SUBMERGEYOUR HEAD

IN LUKEWARM STADIUM-GRADENACHO CHEESE.

- YOU'RE ON.

[audience aws]

[laughter]

- OH!

[audience ohs]

- YOU WILL ALWAYS REMEMBERWIDE RIGHT.

- [groans]

IT'S SO HEAVY.

- THROW A VORTEX FOOTBALL50 YARDS, INTO THIS TRASH CAN,

OR BREAK ONE OF YOUR CAR WINDOWSWITH A SLEDGEHAMMER.

- I JUST GOT A NEW CAR.

- THEN, DON'T LOSE.

[audience ohs]

[laughter]

WHO'S THE GREATEST ATHLETEEVER?

I CAN DO IT AT ANY DISTANCE.

[audience ohs]

COME UP WITH YOUR OWNSPORTS OR CONSEQUENCES

AND SEND THEM TO OUR BLOG.

I CANNOT WAIT TO PERSONALLYWATCH EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM.

KEEP IT PG-13AND KEEP IT SAFE.

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