Web Redemption - Force Field Master - Uncensored

  • Season 5, Ep 521
  • 10/08/2013
  • Views: 27,655
0 comments

A New Age guru teaches Daniel how to channel his energy into a defensive shield, and together they put their power to the ultimate test. (7:38)

>> BREATHE IN.

ALL THE ENERGY IN.

MORE POWER, MORE PASSION, MORE

POWER.

INTO THE HANDS, YES.

THAT'S GO.

AS SOON AS YOU SEE ME MOVE

EVERYTHING YOU GOT IN THERE YOU

PUSH OUT.

[ YELLING ]

>> YOU PREPARE HER.

[LAUGHTER]

>> Tosh: SHE DIDN'T CALL FAIR

CATCH.

THAT'S ON HER.

ALL RIGHT.

GET UP.

IF I WANTED TO SEE SOMEONE SHAKE

I'D WATCH MICHAEL J. FOX'S NEW

SHOW.

THAT PHONY HOMEOPATH IS PAUL AND

IN CASE THE PONYTAIL WASN'T

ENOUGH TO KEEP PEOPLE AWAY HE

CLAIMS HE CAN GENERATE FORCE

FIELDS.

THE NEW AGE MOVEMENT IS FOR

FOLKS DUMB ENOUGH TO PAY SOMEONE

TO TEACH THEM HOW TO BREATHE.

IT'S RELIGION FOR PEOPLE WHO

WOULD BURN IN HELL IN A REAL

RELIGION

YOU KNOW WHY THERE ARE THOUSANDS

OF SELF HELP BOOKS?

BECAUSE THEY DON'T WORK.

INDIA'S HAD THE SPIRITUAL

FULFILLMENT CRAP FOREVER AND

LAST TIME I CHECKED IT'S STILL

THE GROSSEST PLACE ON EARTH.

MEDICATION WAS ONLY INVENTED SO

HOLLYWOOD COULD NAP WITHOUT

SEEMING LAZY.

YOGA'S STUPID TOO.

IT'S NOT A WORKOUT IT'S A WAY TO

JUSTIFY DRINKING CARAMEL MOCHA

FRAPPUCCINO'S EVERY DAY.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO YOGA IT AWAY

SO BEFORE YOU TURN YOURSELF INTO

A PIN CUSHION SEE A DOCTOR

THAT'S NOT A DREAM CATCHER.

IF YOU HEAR A GIRL BABBLING

ABOUT HER CHAKRAS THERE'S A 95%

CHANCE SHE'LL LET YOU FINGER HER

UNFORTUNATELY HER UNSHAVED

SNATCH WILL SMELL WORSE THAN THE

PATCHOULI HE'S BURNING.

NOW EXCUSE ME WHILE I CHECK OUT

OF THE CONVERSATION BUT I STILL

NEED TO FIND OUT IF PAUL IS FULL

OF PATCHOULI CENTED INCENSE.

I BROUGHT HIM TO HOLLYWOOD FOR

THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

>> HI, DANIEL.

I'M PAUL.

[ NATIONAL ANTHEM ]

>> Tosh: NICE TO MEET YOU PAUL.

>> NICE TO MEET YOU.

>> Tosh: WHERE YOU FROM?

>> U.K.

>> Tosh: WHAT WERE YOU DOING IN

THE VIDEO?

>> HELPING PEOPLE GET INTO THEIR

POWER TO CREATE A DEFENSIVE

SHIELD AROUND THEMSELVES.

>> Tosh: IS IT A CAMP?

>> IT'S LIKE A TWO-WEEK CAMP FOR

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT.

>> Tosh: BASICALLY ONE CLASS IS

FORCE FIELDS.

>> YEAH.

>> Tosh: I'D SIGN UP FOR THAT.

WHAT WENT WRONG IN THAT VIDEO?

>> SHE DIDN'T DO WHAT SHE WAS

INSTRUCTED.

>> Tosh: WAS IT HER FAULT SHE

JUST DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION?

>> NO, SHE WAS DOING A LIFE LONG

COMMITMENT TO THE VICTIM

STRATEGY.

FOR ME EVERYTHING BAD HAPPENS TO

ME.

>> Tosh: YOU DID WAIT A MINUTE

AND THEN YOU STARTED TO SHAKE.

>> YES.

>> Tosh: WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

>> WHEN YOU'RE VERY FRIGHTENED

PEOPLE SHAKE TO GET RID OF THE

ENERGY

>>

>> THAT'S WHAT YOU DO IF YOU

HURT SOMEBODY YOU ACT LIKE YOU

GOT HURT TOO.

>> IT WORKS GREAT, DOESN'T IT?

>> IN ORDER TO BE ABLE TO ATTACK

SOMEONE IS A CHANNEL A MURDER

INTO MY BODY --

>> Tosh: A MURDER?

>> BECAUSE THEN I'M REALLY GOING

TO GO FOR THEM.

>> Tosh: ANY MURDER OR A

SPECIFIC MURDER.

>> YES, SPECIFIC.

>> Tosh: NO, I DON'T WANT TO --

>> MANSON ACTUALLY.

THIS IS A SAFE DISTANCE BUT AS I

MOVE CLOSER THEN -- THIS IS

GETTING A LITTLE INTIMATE AND AS

WE COME CLOSER THINGS ARE

HAPPENINGIN SIDE YOU BECAUSE

THIS IS INTO YOUR FORCE FIELD.

>> Tosh: ACTUALLY, THIS IS

COMFORTABLE.

WHAT KIND OF PEOPLE SIGN UP TO

TAKE YOUR LESSON?

>> IT REALLY VARIES.

ONE OF THE FIRST GROUPS IN

SWEDEN A BLACK AMERICAN CAME

FROM THE STATES TO JOIN US.

>> Tosh: THEY'RE PRETTY GULLIBLE

-- AMERICANS.

>> OKAY.

>> Tosh: WHAT DID YOU THINK I

MEANT?

[LAUGHTER]

>> Tosh: YOU FORCE THE FORCE

FIELD INSTEAD OF WEARING A

CONDOM.

>> I'VE TRIED THAT.

WE'VE NEVER USED PROTECTION AND

ONLY HAD A CHILD ONCE SO IT

SEEMS TO WORK.

>> Tosh: OKAY.

I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD GAMBLE

WITH THAT BUT I'M GOING TO GO

CHANGE SO I DON'T LOOK LIKE A

COMPLETE IDIOT WHEN I'M MAKING

MY FIRST FORCE FIELD.

>> OKAY.

YOU READY FOR A CRAZY

EXPERIENCE?

>> Tosh: YES, I'M A LITTLE

NERVOUS.

>> NO, THAT'S GOOD.

YOU'RE HERE AND NOW.

TUCK YOUR T-SHIRT IN.

>> Tosh: THAT LOOKS SO STUPID.

>> PUT YOUR HANDS ON MY ANKLES

AND SIT DOWN LIKE IN A CHAIR.

STRAIGHT DOWN.

ARE YOU COMFORTABLE?

>> Tosh: YEAH.

>> GOOD.

CLOSE YOUR EYES, DROP YOUR HEAD

ALL THE WAY BACK AND LET YOUR

BODY GO.

PUT YOUR HANDS ON YOUR ANKLES

AND ENJOY.

>> Tosh: SORRY TO HURT MY SIDE.

>> OKAY.

WE'RE BLOWING OUT ALL THE

NEGATIVE STUFF AND BRING YOUR

ARMS UP WHATEVER ENERGY YOU'D

THINK YOU'D LIKE IN YOUR BODY

AND LOCK IT IN YOUR TUMMY AND A

FORCE YOU'LL BLAST AND BLOW AWAY

AND --

[ YELLING ]

>> OKAY.

LET'S DO THAT A FEW TIMES.

[ SCREAMING ]

>> BREATHE IN THE SUNSHINE.

YEAH!

YEAH!

WHOA, GOOD.

>> Tosh: I'M NOT SURE I'LL EVER

BE ABLE TO HARNESS THE POWER BUT

I'M CONFIDENT YOU ARE.

SO MUCH I'M WILLING TO PUT MY

LIFE ON THE LINE.

YOU READY?

>> I'M READY.

I'M READY, NOW.

>> Tosh: ARE YOU SURE?

>> I'M SURE.

>> Tosh: I'M NOT GOING TO STOP.

>> I'LL STOP YOU.

>> Tosh: WE'RE REALLY HIGH UP.

>> YEAH.

>> Tosh: I'M SERIOUS.

>> I HOPE SO.

>> Tosh: ALL RIGHT.

>> TWO MEN WILL FALL FROM THE

SKY AND KILL US.

>> YOU OKAY?

>> I'M OKAY.

>> Tosh: I THINK WE KILLED THEM.

>> YAY, JULIE.

>> QUICK, START SHAKING.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Tosh: IF YOU'VE EVER SPENT

MONEY ON A FORTUNE TELLER YOU

DESERVE TO DIE.

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