Web Redemption - Sweet Brown

  • Season 4, Ep 423
  • 10/09/2012
  • Views: 199,226
0 comments

Daniel turns apartment fire survivor Sweet Brown into a fire safety mascot for the urban community. (6:26)

- WELL, I WOKE UPTO GO GET ME A COLD POP

AND THEN I THOUGHTSOMEBODY WAS BARBECUING.

I SAID, OH, LORD JESUS,IT'S A FIRE.

THEN I RAN OUT.

I DIDN'T GRAB NO SHOESOR NOTHING, JESUS.

I RAN FOR MY LIFE,AND THEN THE SMOKE GOT ME.

I GOT BRONCHITIS.

AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIMEFOR THAT.

- MM, LET'S PRAYSHE DIDN'T LOSE

HER SECRET PANCAKE RECIPEIN THE BLAZE.

THAT'S SURVIVOR SWEET BROWN,

AND THE KFOR NEWS TEAMSTRUCK BLACK GOLD

WHEN THEY INTERVIEWED HERABOUT AN APARTMENT FIRE.

I DON'T KNOWWHAT FIRE IS MADE OF.

HELL, NOBODY DOES.

ALL I KNOW ISTHAT FIRE IS AWESOME.

I'M NOT A PYROMANIAC,BUT I AM A PYROENTHUSIAST.

AND CONTRARY TO WHATTHE KINGS OF LEON MAY TELL YOU,

IF YOUR SEX IS ON FIRE,YOU HAVE CHLAMYDIA

AND YOU SHOULDPURCHASE SOME TOPICAL CREAM.

AND PLEASE STOPOFFERING INSURANCE MONEY

EVERY TIME A FIRE"MYSTERIOUSLY" BREAKS OUT.

ARSON IS A SERIOUS CRIME

AND/OR A GREAT WAY TO MAKEA QUICK 100 GRAND.

YOU KNOW WHO I FEEL BAD FOR?

ANYONE WHO HAS TO WATCHTHE OSCARS THIS YEAR.

YES, BUT ALSO BURN VICTIMS.

THEY ARE ALWAYSRUNNING OUT OF ALOE VERA,

AND IT'S A HUGE PAINTO CONSTANTLY HAVE TO GO

TO THE DRUGSTORE.

I'M STILL AMAZED PEOPLEGET PAID TO PUT OUT FIRES.

WE ALL KNOWTHE SECRET FORMULA.

FIRE PLUS WATEREQUALS NO FIRE.

JUST GIVE EVERYONETHEIR OWN HOSE.

SWEET BROWNONLY WANTED A COLD POP

WHEN THE SMOKE GOT HER.

THAT'S WHY I FLEW HER TO SOCAL

WHERE WE DEFY GOD'S WILLBY PUTTING OUT THE WILDFIRES

HE SENDS TO CLEANSE USOF OUR SINS

FOR THIS WEEK'SWEB REDEMPTION.

[cheers and applause]

SWEET BROWN,THANKS FOR MEETING ME HERE.

CAN YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE HAND?

- OH, LORD JESUS,STOP, DROP,

SHUT' EM DOWN, OPEN UP SHOP.

- OKAY, I THINKTHAT'S A DMX SONG.

I THINK THAT'S--AAH!- YEAH.

[bell ringing]

OH, LORD JESUS.

- [groans]I HATE FIRES.

- IS THIS NORMAL?

- EVER SINCE 9/11,

THEY GET A LITTLE SKITTISHBEFORE EVERY CALL.

- [laughs]

- SWEET BROWN, HOW DID YOUGET THAT NAME?

- WELL, MY MAMA GAVE IT TO ME.

- HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT VIDEO?

- WELL, IT'S BEEN SINCE APRIL.

- ALL RIGHT, WALK METHROUGH EVERYTHING

THAT HAPPENED THAT DAY.

- I WAS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW,

AND I THOUGHTSOMEBODY WAS BARBECUING,

AND I SAID, OH, LORD JESUS,IT'S A FIRE.

- WHAT TIME OF DAY WAS THIS?

- IT WAS 3:30 IN THE MORNING.

- WHY DID YOU THINKTHERE WAS A BARBECUE

GOING ON AT3:30 IN THE MORNING?

- IT WAS THE DAYBEFORE EASTER.

IT WAS 3:30 IN THE MORNING,LIKE MID-MORNING.

YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE, YOU KNOW,BARBECUE EARLY IN THE MORNING?

IT'S EASTER.

- OKAY, AND YOU SAID,WHEN YOU WOKE UP, YOU WERE GOING

TO THE REFRIGERATORTO GET YOURSELF SOME POP?

- NO, I WAS GOING TO THE,UH, POP MACHINE TO GET ME A POP.

- WHY ARE YOU GETTING A POPIN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT?

- 'CAUSE I WAS THIRSTY.

- YOU GOTTA GO WITH WATER,SWEET BROWN.

- WELL, I DIDN'T WANT NO WATERTHAT DAY.

I WANTED A SPRITE.

- CAN I OFFER YOU A POP?- YES, I'M THIRSTY.

- WHAT KIND OF POPWOULD YOU LIKE?

- SPRITE, BABY, SPRITE.

- OKAY, HERE YOU GO,A GRAPE CRUSH.

- AIN'T NOBODYGOT TIME FOR THIS!

[laughter]

- HOW DID THE FIRE START?

- WELL, THE FIRE START,THAT WOMAN HAD A HOVER ROUND,

AND SHE WAS FRYING SOME CHICKEN.

SO I GUESSTHE HOVER ROUND WENT DEAD.

- AND THAT'S A PERFECT STORMFOR A FIRE.

- YEAH, IT WASLIKE A FIRE STORM.

SHE COULDN'T MAKE IT TOTHE STOVE TO GET THE CHICKEN.

- YOU KNOW,I HAVE ISSUE WITH HER

MAKING CHICKENTHIS LATE AT NIGHT.

- I BET SHE AIN'TGONNA EAT NO MORE CHICKEN,

NOT IF IT'S FROM KFC.

- DID YOU GET OUT IN PLENTYOF TIME BEFORE THE FIRE GOT YOU?

- YOU KNOW,I WAS RUNNING FOR MY LIFE...

FORGOT MY DADDY.

- YOU REALIZED THAT YOU HAD LEFTSOMEONE BACK IN THE APARTMENT?

- YEAH, MY DADDYWAS IN THE CLOSET.

- WHY IS YOUR DADDYIN THE CLOSET?

IN THIS DAY AND AGE,IT'S TIME TO COME OUT.

- HE CREMATED.- OH, HE'S CREMATED?

- [laughing]I LEFT HIM IN THE CLOSET.

- SO DADDY MADE IT OUT.- HE COULDN'T MAKE IT OUT.

HE CREMATED IN THE FIRE.- HE CAN'T GET CREMATED TWICE.

- HE AIN'T GOTNO SMOKE DAMAGE OR NOTHING.

DADDY ALL RIGHT.

- YOU EVER SEETHE MOVIE BACKDRAFT?

- YOU TALKING ABOUTWITH, UH, BILL PAXTON?

- YEAH.- MAN, I CRIED ON IT.

- YOU CRIED?- I CRIED.

- WERE YOU SURPRISED THATTHE VIDEO BECAME SO POPULAR?

- I WAS SURPRISED,AND YOU SEE MY SON

IN THE BACK LIKE,OH, MY GOSH, MOM.

I'M LIKE,BABY, I GOT THIS.

- THAT WAS YOUR SONIN THE BACKGROUND?

- THAT WAS MY SON.

- 'CAUSE HE JUST KEPTWALKING BACK AND FORTH

LIKE A CRAZY PERSONBACK THERE.

- MAMA, DON'T DO THIS.BABY, I GOT THIS.

- YOU DON'T CAMP,I DON'T CAMP.

SMOKEY THE BEARIS FOR FOREST FIRES.

WE NEED A MASCOTFOR THE URBAN COMMUNITY

TO TEACH EVERYONE IN THE CITYABOUT THE DANGERS OF FIRE,

AND I THINK THAT PERSONSHOULD BE YOU.

- I WANT IT TO BE, LIKE,A CAMPFIRE GROUND

AND THEN ME AND MY LITTLEANIMATED ANIMALS,

WE WALK IN AND I'M LIKE,OOH, SOMEBODY BARBECUING.

- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

- BUT I WANTLITTLE ANIMATED ANIMALS.

- WE'RE NOT GOING TO DOANIMATED ANIMALS, SWEET BROWN.

- WHY? BECAUSE I WANTMY ANIMALS TO BURN UP.

- WE DON'T HAVE TIMEFOR THE ANIMATED--

- AIN'T NOBODY, BABY.- OKAY.

[children chattering]

- THIS WATER ISFOR FIRE SPRAYING,

NOT SIDEWALK PLAYING.THAT'S WASTEFUL.

AIN'T NOBODYGOT TIME FOR THAT.

[both exclaiming]

THIS IS A PUBLIC SPACE,NOT YOUR FIREPLACE.

THAT'S DANGEROUS.

AIN'T NOBODYGOT TIME FOR THAT.

- [spluttering]WHOA!

- IF YOU SMOKE THE ROCK,YOU'LL BURN DOWN A WHOLE BLOCK.

AIN'T NOBODYGOT TIME FOR THAT.

- AND SWAT.- BOOM SHAKALAKA.

- SWAT.- HE'S HEATING UP.

- BOOM SHAKALAKA!

- WHOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?I WAS PLAYING NBA JAM

AND RONY SEIKALYWAS ABOUT TO BE ON FIRE.

- WHEN YOU SCORETHREE BASKETS IN A ROW,

YOU HOT ENOUGHTO MELT THE FLOOR.

AIN'T NOBODYGOT TIME FOR THAT.

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