Web Redemption - BK Chicken Fries

  • Season 5, Ep 10
  • 04/09/2013
  • Views: 65,660
0 comments

Daniel helps this fast foodie deliver his angry message to Burger King. (7:57)

>> I'M THE WORLD'S PICKIEST

EATER SO THERE ARE NOT MANY

FOODS THAT I LIKE.

ONE FOOD THAT I REALLY LOVED

WERE BURGER KING CHICKEN FRIES.

I'D ALWAYS GET THE SAME THING,

TWO TWELVE-PIECE CHICKEN FRIES

AND FRY TO GO AT MY LOCAL BURGER

KING WHICH IS TWO MINUTES FROM

ME MAYBE ONE MINUTE AND THEY

WERE DISCONTINUED FOR 2012.

LIKE MY LIFE DOESN'T SUCK ENOUGH

I HAVE A JOB I HATE AND NO HOPE

OF EVER GETTING A GIRLFRIEND IN

MY LIFE.

MY ONLY JOY IS MOVIES AND YEAH,

I HAVE THE MEDICAL PROBLEMS AND

BEEN IN PAIN FOR A MONTH AND NOW

YOU TAKE AWAY MY [BLEEP] CHICKEN

FRIES.

[BLEEP] YOU.

I'LL DEDICATE MY LIFE TO DESTROY

YOU, BURGER KING.

[BLEEP] YOU, [BLEEP] YOU,

[BLEEP] YOU.

>> Tosh: LOOKED LIKE THEY MESSED

WITH THE WRONG ASPERGER.

HIS BLOOD PRESSURE WENT THROUGH

THE ROOF.

STOPPING FAST FOOD IS LIKE

MURDERING HITCHHIKER IF YOU

DON'T DO IT ONCE IT WON'T CATCH

UP FOR YOU AND FOR ME McDONALD'S

IS AN EMERGENCY BATHROOM IN OVER

19 COUNTRIES.

A HAMBURGER SHOULDN'T COST 99

CENTS.

EATING RIGHT IS EXPENSIVE BUT

WHAT YOU SPENT ON ORGANIC FOOD

YOU SAVE ON UNDER WOOD.

FAST FOOD CHAINS ARE TRYING TO

SEEM HEALTHIER THESE DAYS.

WENDY'S REPLACED HIS DAUGHTER

WITH A SKINNIER WENDY WHO

DOESN'T GROW UP EATING WENDY'S.

IT'S THE FASTEST GROWING FAST

FOOD IN THE WORLD AND YOU'RE

TELLING ME WHEN KENTUCKY FRIED

CHICKEN CHANGED THEIR NAME TO

KFC EVERYBODY FORGOT THEIR

CHICKEN WAS COOKED IN A VAT OF

OIL?

LOSING KENTUCKY WAS ICING ON THE

CAKE.

POSTING CALORIE COUNTS ON THE

MENU IS LIKE A GIRL TATTOOING

THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE ON HER

VAGINA.

EVERYBODY READING THE STATS

ALREADY COMMITTED TO THE BAD

DECISION.

IF HE WANTS TO EAT CHICKEN FRIES

EVERY DAY, FINE.

I'M NOT HIS MOM.

I ELSE HIM TO PROCEED TO THE

NEXT WINDOW TO L.A. FOR THIS

WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

HOW'S IT GOING, DAVE?

>> GOOD.

>> Tosh: THEY HAVE WAFFLE FRIES

AND THEY'RE RANCH CONTAINER IS

PERFECT FOR DIPPING.

GET IN THERE.

>> IT'S LIKE EATING A SUEDE

COUCH.

>> Tosh: YOU'RE NOT A FAN OF

CHICK-FIL-A CHICKEN?

>> NO.

>> Tosh: WHY?

>> THAT'S LIKE THEY RIPPED OFF

THE BEAK AND BREADED IT.

>> Tosh: SOUND DELICIOUS.

WHERE YOU FROM?

>> RHODE ISLAND.

>> Tosh: HOW DEGREE MAKE THE

VIDEO?

>> A YEAR AGO.

I HAVEN'T GIVEN THEM ANY MONEY.

>> I WANT TO TALK WITH THE

ORDER, IT CAME TO $10.01.

WOULD YOU BRING THE PENNY.

>> I WOULD HAVE THE EXACT CHANGE

AVAILABLE FOR IF I GAVE THEM A

20 OR WHATEVER THE EMPLOYEE

WOULD WRITE OFF THE CORRECT.

>> Tosh: SO YOU GOT A ONE CENT

DISCOUNT.

>> THE DRAWER PROBABLY CAME UP

SHORT BUT THAT'S THEIR PROBLEM

NOT MINE.

MY MOM MADE ME A BREADED CHICKEN

CUTLET.

>> Tosh: WHAT'S THE LEAST

FAVORITE FOOD YOU'VE HAD?

>> GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH.

>> Tosh: THAT'S WEIRD.

>> THERE'S A CUTE GIRL BEHIND

THE COUNTER AND THESE PROBABLY

16 SO THAT'S PROBABLY

DISGUSTING.

>> Tosh: THAT WAS A YEAR AGO SO

SHE'S NEARING LEGALISH.

>> BUT IN RHODE ISLAND THE

CONSENT IS 16.

>> Tosh: THAT'S NOT CREEPY.

DESCRIBE HER.

>> A BRUNETTE WITH BLACK

GLASSES.

I DON'T REMEMBER ALL THE DETAILS

BUT I HAVE A GLASSES FETISH.

>> Tosh: LISA LOEB.

>> I LOVE HER.

>> Tosh: TALK TO ME ABOUT YOUR

OBSESSIVE USE OF THE F-BOMB.

>> WELL, WHEN I MADE THE VIDEO

I'D BEEN OUT OF WORK FOR A MONTH

ON MEDICAL LEAVE FOR KIDNEY

STONES AND DURING --

>> Tosh: DID YOU PASS THOSE?

>> SOME WERE AND I HAD TO BE

LA

LASERED SOME AND I WAS WALKING

AROUND WITH A METAL TUBE FOR A

MONTH.

>> Tosh: YOU'RE MAKING ME HORNY.

WHAT MAKES THE CHICK ENFRIES SO

MUCH BETTER THAN A CHICKEN

TENDER?

>> LARGELY THE BREADING.

I LIKE TWO-THIRDS BREADING TO

ONE-THIRD CHICKEN.

I LIKE MORE BREADING FOR CHICKEN

BUT I NEED PROTEIN TO GET UP IN

THE MORNING.

>> Tosh: I HAVE A SPECIAL TREAT

FOR YOU.

I WOULD LOVE FOR YOU TO TRY SOME

OF THESE CHICKEN FRIES.

>> OKAY.

LET'S SEE.

>> BLAND.

>> Tosh: YOU CAN GET THEM.

THEY'RE AT GROCERY STORES.

BAM.

REDEEMED.

NOW, YOU SAID IN THAT VIDEO AND

I ASSUME YOU WERE IN A DARK

PLACE YOU WOULD NEVER EVER GET A

GIRLFRIEND.

>> I HAVE NO HOPE OF EVER

GETTING A GIRLFRIEND IN MY LIFE.

>> Tosh: DO YOU STILL BELIEVE

THAT OR HAS IT CHANGED.

>> I MET HER THROUGH YOUTUBE

ABOUT A MONTH AFTER.

>> Tosh: IT WORKED OUT WELL FOR

YOU.

>> YEAH.

>> Tosh: I HATE TO TELL YOU BUT

BURGER KING DOESN'T CARE ABOUT A

FOUL-MOUTHED KID ON YOUTUBE.

WE'LL HAVE TO DO IT MY WAY.

FOLLOW ME.

CHICK-FIL

CHICK-FIL-A BATHROOM IS ALWAYS

OUT OF ORDER.

>> WHY IS THAT?

>> Tosh: THE LARGE AMOUNTS OF

SEMEN.

GUYS, BRING THEM UP.

YOU STILL SMILING?

YOU DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM IF MY

COLLEAGUE TAKES A LOOK AT YOUR

JUNK.

I KNOW YOU.

I COULD HAVE HAD YOU KILLED.

I DIDN'T.

I HAD YOU LIVE SO WE CAN TALK.

>>I DON'T THINK HE TALKS.

>> Tosh: IN THE END THEY ALL

TALK.

NOW THAT THERE IS A CHICKEN FRY.

WHAT I WANT FROM YOU IS TO PUT

IT BACK ON THE MENU.

>> I'M PRETTY SURE HE DOESN'T

SPEAK.

>> Tosh: OH, HE'LL SPEAK.

GIVE ME THE BUCKET.

PUT BACK THE CHICKEN FRIES AND

I'LL MAKE THIS ALL STOP.

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU SAW BIN

LADEN.

>> I DON'T THINK THAT'S

RELEVANT.

>> Tosh: HAVE IT YOUR WAY.

WIPE THE STUPID GRIN OFF YOUR

FACE.

>> YOU KNOW THAT'S A MASK,

RIGHT?

>> Tosh: WHAT!

THE KING IS A QUEEN.

>> IT'S BEEN DEAD FOR WEEKS.

>> Tosh: THAT EXPLAINS THE

STENCH AND TINY PENIS.

L

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