Web Redemption - Boom Goes the Dynamite

  • Season 3, Ep 312
  • 05/24/2011
  • Views: 230,267
0 comments

Daniel sets a struggling sportscaster up for a rebound by having him call the Tosh.0 staff pick-up game. (8:04)

>> BEFORE THE BASEBALL TEAM

KICKS OFF THE CONFERENCE SEASON

THIS WEEKEND THE CARDS WILL

BATTLE IN INDIANA TOMORROW.

TOMORROW'S GAME WILL BE THE

MEETING BETWEEN THE TWO BEATING

BOTH --

[LAUGHING]

>> IT SEEMS -- WE, IT SEEMS

EVERY WEEK THEY HAVE A PLAYER

...

[LAUGHING]

A

PLAYER ...

SHAKE IT AND BOOM GOES THE

DYNAMITE.

>> BOOM GOES THE CAREER.

THAT'S BRIAN ONE TAKE COLLINS.

IN ONE OF THE WORST SPORTS CAST

HE CREATED A GREAT CATCH PHRASE.

HOW ABOUT DOWN GOES FRAZIER, DO

YOU BELIEVE IN MIRACLES AND

WRONG HOLE KOBE.

GETTING A SPORTS JOB IS HARD.

BEST YOU CAN HOPE FOR IS $50,000

A YEAR AND LIVE IN BRISTOL,

CONNECTICUT.

THAT NETWORK HAS RUINED SPORTS

ANCHORS.

NOW EVERYONE THINKS THEY NEED TO

BE HILARIOUS.

SPORTS IS NOT TO BE FUNNY, JUST

DON'T TELL THAT TO COMEDY

CENTRAL.

THERE IS A REASON PEOPLE PAY SO

MUCH TO GO TO THE GAME.

THEY CAN WATCH WITHOUT HEARING

YOU TALK.

HOW IS CHRIS BURRMAN ALIVE HE

CAN'T MAKE IT THROUGH A SENTENCE

WITHOUT SOUNDING COMPLETELY

WINDED.

HE SOUNDS LIKE A DOLPHIN WITH

TOURETTES.

I GET IT KURT HERBSTREIT IS

BEAUTIFUL.

BUT IT'S EASY SITTING NEXT TO AN

80-YEAR-OLD STROKE VICTIM.

I DON'T USE THE WORD COLOR

COMMENTATOR I'M NOT RACE IS.

I APPRECIATE JOHN MADDEN BUT

CAN'T FORGIVE HIM FOR MAKING

FRANK CALIENDO'S CAR AOERP.

WHY DOES HE HAVE THE HAIRCUT OF

A LION.

THE ONLY ONE WORTH A DAMN IS

MARV ALBERT AND HE TRIED TO EAT

A WOMAN.

BY THE WAY DANA JAKE ONSON LOOKS

LIKE CONAN THE BARBARIAN.

SIDELINE REPORTERS ARE VOTE

KPHRAO*ETLY UNNECESSARY.

I'M PRET YOU'RE SURE A HEAD

COACH ISN'T HANDING OUT TYPE

SECRET INFORMATION TO A MIDDLE

AGED WOMEN IN A SPORTS SUIT.

WE FLEW BOOM TO THE BEST SPORTS

CITY IN AMERICA THAT DOESN'T

WANT A NFL TEAM IN THIS WEEK'S

WEB RETKEPGS.

BOOYA!

>> BOOM, GET IN.

>> ALRIGHT.

>> I HAVE A HOT STORY.

>> I DON'T THINK YOU CAN PARK

HERE.

THIS IS A HANDICAP SPOT.

>> BETWEEN MY IBS AND YOUR

INABILITY TO READ A TELEPROMPTER

WE CALL PHI.

LET'S GO.

>> BRIAN, WAS THIS A CLASS OR

LIKE THE SCHOOL BROADCAST.

WHAT WAS IT.

>> HERE IS THE THING A LOT OF

PEOPLE FORGET THIS.

THAT WAS COLLEGE.

NOT ONLY COLLEGE MY FRESHMAN

YEAR.

FIRST TIME BEING ON AIR PERIOD.

I NEVER STEPPED IN FRONT OF A

CAMERA BEFORE THAT.

I WAS DOING IT ON THE FLY TOO. I

WAS COVERING STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW

ANYTHING ABOUT.

>> SPORTS OR JUST BASKETBALL.

>> I REALLY KNEW A LOT ABOUT

SPORTS BUT NOT ABOUT BASKETBALL.

>> GOT IT.

>> CLEARLY SOMETHING I SHOULD OF

THOUGHT ABOUT BEFORE I WENT ON

AIR I SHOULD OF RESEARCHED THE

NAMES OR SOMETHING.

>> IT READ HONEST.

HE'S IN OVER HIS HEAD.

YOU WANT THEM TO TRIUMPH.

IT NEVER HAPPENS.

HOW LONG WERE YOU ON THE AIR

THAT SEGMENT.

>> I REMEMBER THE SECOND SEGMENT

THEY WERE SLOWING ME DOWN.

I THOUGHT THEY WOULD PULL ME.

THEY SAID NO.

>> WHAT DID YOU DO LATER THAT

NIGHT.

>> I WALKED HOME IN THE RAIN.

>> THAT'S A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT.

>> DID YOU COME UP WITH BOOM

GOES THE DYNAMITE OR HOW DID YOU

COME UP WITH IT.

>> MY FRIENDS IN COLLEGE WE

PLAYED MARIO CART A LOT.

THAT'S WHAT WE DID, WE CAME UP

WITH OUR OWN CATCH PHRASES.

>> WHEN YOU PLAYED MARIO CART

AND WON YOU SKRAEUPLD "BOOM GOES

THE DYNAMITE."

>> A GOOD POINT TO YELL IT OUT

IS WHEN YOU HIT SOMEONE WITH A

GREEN SHELL.

YOU HAVE TO HAVE AIM.

>> DID THIS HELP OR HURT YOUR

SITUATION WITH THE LADIES.

>> IT HURT.

>> YOU HAVE YELLED "BOOM GO THE

DYNAMITE" WHILE HAVING SEX?

>> I NOT HAVE.

I'M SURE THAT IS WHERE THE DATE

WOULD END AND THERE WOULD BE NO

OTHER DATE AFTER THAT.

>> IT MIGHT BE A GOOD WAY TO GET

THEM OUT IF THAT WAS YOUR GOAL.

>>WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SPORTS

CASTER?

>> BOB COSTIS.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS

ABOUT BOB.

IN HIS OFF TIME HE DRESSES IN

INTRODUCING.

>> I DID NOT KNOW THAT.

>> BOB IS A DRAG QUEEN.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING AS A LIVING

NOW.

>> I WORK AS A FREELANCE

REPORTER JOURNALIST.

>> YOU ARE TKPWROEUPBDING IT OUT

IN THE BUSINESS.

>> YES.

>> DO YOU SAY THAT IN EVERY

BROADCAST.

>>

>> I SAY IT UNDER MY BREATH.

>> WHAT ABOUT A SPORTS CAST

WOULD YOU DID I HAVE NATELY SAY

IT?

>> BELIEVE IT OR NOT I HAVEN'T

DONE A SPORTS CAST SINCE THAT

DAY.

NOT ONE.

>> MAN, THIS IS GOING TO BE

EXCITING.

>> HOW WOULD YOU FEEL ABOUT

CALLING OUR STAFF PICKUP GAME.

>> I WOULD DO IT.

>> GUSS JOHNSON ALSO DOES IT BY

THE WAY, EVERY WEEK.

>> HI, I'M GUSS JOHNSON.

>> I'M BRIAN COLLINS.

>> WELCOME TO THE TOSH.O STAFF

GAME.

BRIAN, WHAT CAN WE EXPECT TO SEE

TODAY?

>> BASED ON THE LACK OF

DIVERSITY.

SUB SHOTS AND LAYUPS THIS

AFTERNOON.

>> OKAY TIME TO JOIN THE THIRD

MEMBER OF OUR TEAM, DANIEL.

>> ONES AND TWOS CALL YOUR OWN

FOULS, WINNERS BUYS LUNCH.

START THE GAME, YOU IDIOT.

>> OVER THE CORNER, TURNS IT

OVER IN CROSS TOWN TRAFFIC.

>> HE'S GOING TO ROB THE BANK

SHOT.

>> WHAT A NICE TEARDROP.

>> FROM 2 FEET OUT.

>> IRON ON KIND.

>> BOUNCE IT'S OFF HIS LEFT

HOLE.

>> HIGH RISER.

>> DIALED UP LIKE A MODEM.

[LAUGHING]

>> RISE AND FIRE.

>> OH, OH DOUBLE DRIBBLE.

>> HE HAS A HOT SOFT HANDLE.

>> FROM THE MARKING LOT.

>> SHAZAM.

>> OH MAN LOOKS LIKE HE ROLLED

AN ANGER.

>> DO DANIEL FOR A UPDATE.

>> HE GOT HURT.

BACK TO YOU, BOOM.

>> EASY, BREEZY BEAUTIFUL COVER

GIRL.

[LAUGHING]

[BEEP]

>> HALF WAY DOWN POPS OUT.

THAT WON'T GO.

>> THAT IS NO GOOD.

>> OFF THE BACK RIM.

IT RATTLES OUT.

>> ZERO, ZERO SKILLS.

>> WOW, THEY MISS ANOTHER ONE.

0 FOR A LIFETIME AS THEY

CONTINUE TO FIRE BRICK AFTER

BRICK.

>> AH, TITTIES.

>> I'M GONNA HAVE TO USE THAT.

>> GUSS T IS ALL TIED UP.

>> DO OR DIE SITUATION FOR THE

TOSH.O CHAMPIONSHIP.

SHOT IS UP.

>> HE GRINDS THE CHARGE.

>> HE HAS --

>> AND BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE

[BEEP]

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