Extended Interview - Cartwheeling Goalie's Web Redemption

  • Season 2, Ep 214
  • 06/30/2010
  • Views: 58,844
0 comments

Daniel Tosh helps the Cartwheeling Goalie master the art of distraction. (6:04)

>> NENAD, THANKS FOR COMING

HERE.

>> YOU'RE WELCOME.

>> WHERE ARE YOU FROM?

>> FROM SERBIA.

>> SERBIA?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

>> YEAH.

>> I'M FROM SERBIA!

GET OVER HERE.

>> HOW YOU DOING, MAN?

>> SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU PLAYED

SOCCER?

>> 16 YEARS.

>> 16--ARE YOU GOOD?

>> I'M SUPPOSED TO BE.

>> CAN YOU BEND IT LIKE BECKHAM?

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BEND IT?

>> BEND IT.

I DON'T KNOW, DOESN'T HE KICK

THE BALL, LIKE, AND MAKE IT

TURN?

I DON'T KNOW.

>> NO, HE'S--

>> HE'S FAMOUS FOR SOMETHING.

>> YEAH, I KNOW, BUT, NO.

>> I ASSUME IT'S HIS CHISELED

GOOD LOOKS.

>> HE'S GOT EVERYTHING, MAN.

>> EXCEPT FOR POSH LOOKS LIKE

AN ALIEN.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

>> I'M NOT ATTRACTED TO HER.

HER FACE--

>> OH, MAN.

>> HER HAIR PULLED BACK--UGH.

>> I LIKE HER ACCENT THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S--

>> ALL RIGHT, HER ACCENT'S GOOD,

BUT OTHER THAN THAT, UGH.

AN OLD SPICE GIRL?

>> WHAT CAN I SAY, YOU KNOW?

>> THAT'S SAD.

HOW FAR CAN YOU PUNT THE BALL?

>> IT DEPENDS.

IF I WANT, YOU KNOW,

IF I WANT, I CAN PUNT 80 METERS,

70 METERS.

IT DEPENDS, YOU KNOW,

WHERE I WANT TO--

>> NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING

ABOUT.

WE NEED TO GO YARDS.

>> YOU KNOW, I'M FROM EUROPE,

MAN.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, I SPEAK

ONLY METERS, MAN, NO YARDS.

>> NO, I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT

A METER IS.

WE GOT A COMMUNIST IN THIS BAR!

DO YOU PLAY ANY REAL SPORTS?

>> REAL SPORTS?

>> YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,

SPORTS THAT PEOPLE WANT TO

WATCH.

>> YEAH, I PLAY FUTBOL.

>> [sighs]

>> I DO.

>> COME ON.

>> NO SOCCER, I PLAY FUTBOL.

>> HOW ABOUT GLADIATOR--

AMERICAN GLADIATOR?

THAT'S A SPORT.

SWING ON ROPES.

GOT BIG PEOPLE JUMPING ON YOU.

>> YOU KNOW, I MEAN--

>> THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING

ABOUT.

WHAT ABOUT U.F.C.?

DO YOU DO ANY OF THAT?

ANY OF THE ULTIMATE FIGHTING?

>> NO, I--

I DON'T KNOW, LIKE--

>> YOU'RE TOO GOOD LOOKING?

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW--

>> IS THAT WHAT YOU WERE GONNA

SAY?

>> YEAH, SO, YOU KNOW,

I DON'T WANT TO, YOU KNOW--

>> NO, THAT'S FINE.

THIS IS A GAY-FRIENDLY BAR.

DO YOU HATE THAT AMERICANS CALL

IT SOCCER?

>> I KIND OF ADJUSTED TO IT, SO,

YOU KNOW, EVEN NOW I HATE MYSELF

FOR SAYING, BUT I'M SAYING MORE

SOCCER THAN FUTBOL, YOU KNOW,

BUT--

>> IS YOUR ULTIMATE GOAL

AS A SOCCER PLAYER TO ONE DAY BE

A FIELD GOAL KICKER IN FOOTBALL?

>> NO.

BUT I THOUGHT OF IT THOUGH.

I HEARD THAT IT'S EASIER TO KICK

THAT BALL THAN ACTUALLY IT IS

TO KICK THE SOCCER BALL, SO--

>> UH-HUH.

I WOULD GIVE IT A SHOT,

JUST BECAUSE IT'S A PRETTY GOOD

PAYCHECK FOR NOT A LOT OF WORK

AND ALMOST ZERO CHANCE OF

GETTING HURT.

>> I KNOW, I KNOW.

>> WHEN WAS THAT GAME?

>> IN NOVEMBER.

>> AND THE VIDEO CAME OUT

THE NEXT DAY?

>> THE VIDEO CAME OUT NEXT DAY.

ACTUALLY, I WOKE UP AND IT HAD,

LIKE, WHAT, 700,000, 800,000

VIEWERS IN A COUPLE OF DAYS,

AND JUST AMAZING.

>> DO YOU THINK THAT MANY

CARTWHEELS ACTUALLY AFFECT YOUR

CHANCES OF SAVING IT BECAUSE YOU

WERE A LITTLE DIZZY?

>> NO, IT DIDN'T, ACTUALLY,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, OKAY,

AS GOALIE I DO A LOT OF DRILLS,

YOU KNOW, AND I'M PRETTY MUCH--

YOU KNOW, I USED TO TRAIN

GYMNASTICS, YOU KNOW.

>> I COULD TELL.

>> YEAH, YEAH.

A LOT OF PEOPLE, YOU KNOW--

BUT THE WAY I DID IT, LIKE,

FIRST TIME, I THINK I OVERDID

IT.

I DID IT FOUR TIMES--

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR,

AND THEN--BUT I DIDN'T FELT

DIZZY THOUGH BECAUSE--

JUST, I THINK I WAS--

I GOT TOO EXCITED.

>> HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT

BEFORE?

>> I DID, YEAH.

>> HAS IT EVER WORKED?

>> ACTUALLY, WHEN I DID IT

THE FIRST TIME I SAVED THE P.K.,

AND THEN, YOU KNOW, MY COACHES--

YOU KNOW, APPARENTLY THEY LIKED

IT, YOU KNOW, AND THEN WHEN IT

CAME TO THE GAME, YOU KNOW--

I MEAN, IT WAS MY DECISION

TO DO IT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I WAS REALLY BRAVE TO DO THAT

THING--

>> YES.

>> BECAUSE IN MY HEAD, I NEVER--

I NEVER ACTUALLY THOUGHT--

IT NEVER CROSSED MY MIND THAT

I WOULD DO IT IN A GAME.

I CAN DO IT IN A PRACTICE.

YOU KNOW, WE DO A LOT OF--

LOT OF CRAZY STUFF IN PRACTICE,

BUT IN A GAME, YOU KNOW.

BUT THEN--I DON'T KNOW,

MY COACHES SAID, YOU KNOW--

YOU KNOW, DO--

>> AFTER HE SCORED, HOW BAD DID

YOU WANT TO PUNCH HIM

IN THE FACE?

>> WHEN I WATCHED THE VIDEO,

I REALLY--I WAS REALLY PROUD

OF MYSELF HOW I KEPT MY

COMPOSURE AND EVERYTHING.

I WOULD'VE DONE THE SAME THING

IF I WAS HIM, SO, YOU KNOW.

BUT--

>> SO YOU--YOU WEREN'T MAD?

>> I WASN'T--AT THE POINT

IN THE GAME, I DIDN'T EVEN--

I WAS THAT FOCUSED THAT I DIDN'T

EVEN SEE HIM.

>> DID YOU WIN THAT GAME?

>> NO, WE LOST.

>> [sighs]

>> BUT IMAGINE IF WE WON.

>> OH, THAT WOULD'VE BEEN GREAT.

>> HEY.

>> WERE YOUR OTHER TEAMMATES

MAD AT YOU?

>> EVERYBODY WAS IN MISERY,

YOU KNOW.

WE LOST THE GAME AND--

>> DO PEOPLE AT SCHOOL, WHEN

THEY SAY YOUR NAME, DO THEY GO,

♪ NA-NA, NA-NA

>> YEAH.

>> IT'S REALLY HARD NOT TO.

YOU JUST--WHEN YOU HEAR THAT,

YOU JUST WANT TO GO,

♪ MAKE 'EM SAY, UH ♪

♪ NA-NA, NA-NA

[laughter]

I PLAYED SOCCER, OKAY.

>> OKAY.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF YOU'VE

SEEN THIS.

THIS WAS MY JERSEY WHEN I USED

TO PLAY FOR, UH,

THE NEW BERN STOMPERS.

>> WHAT POSITION DID YOU PLAY?

>> WHAT DID I PLAY?

MIDFIELD, CENTER.

I WAS GOOD, BUT THAT'S JUST

BECAUSE EVERYBODY ELSE,

LIKE, MOST KIDS, SUCK.

>> SHOULD'VE CHANGED TO

GYMNASTICS LIKE ME, MAN.

>> MY PARENTS DIDN'T WANT A GAY

SON, SO THEY SAID NO TO

GYMNASTICS.

WHAT OTHER GYMNASTICS FLOOR

EXERCISES CAN YOU DO?

>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY "FLOOR

EXERCISES"?

>> I-I--

>> YOU MEAN SPLITS?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

>> DO YOU DO THE SPLITS?

>> NO, I MEAN--

>> OH.

>> ESPECIALLY NOT NOW, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, I'M OUT OF SHAPE,

SO, YOU KNOW.

>> LOOK AT ME.

THIS IS THE MOST IN SHAPE I'VE

EVER BEEN IN MY LIFE.

>> LOOK GOOD, MAN.

>> WOULD YOU CONSIDER ME

CHISELED OR RIPPED?

>> RIPPED, DEFINITELY.

>> WHAT COUNTRY HAS THE DIRTIEST

SOCCER PLAYERS?

>> DIRTY, LIKE, WHAT DO YOU

MEAN?

>> MAYBE THEY TAKE IT A LITTLE

TOO FAR?

MAYBE THEY'RE A LITTLE TOO

ROUGH.

MAYBE THEY CHEAT.

>> I THINK ITALY.

>> OH, YEAH?

>> YEAH.

>> HERE, YOU KNOW,

IN AMERICA, NOBODY CARES,

BUT OTHER PLACES, YOU--

YOU--LET'S SAY YOU DID THAT

CARTWHEEL KICK IN THE WORLD CUP

AND YOUR COUNTRY LOST, LIKE--

THEY--FANS MIGHT KILL YOU.

>> YEAH, I KNOW.

I KNOW, YEAH.

>> THAT'S CRAZY.

HERE WE THINK YOU'RE A HERO

JUST FOR MAKING THE GAME

WATCHABLE FOR A FEW SECONDS,

AND WE LOVE IT.

NOW WOULD YOU NOT TRY THAT

BACK HOME?

>> IF IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT

GAME, LIKE, YOU KNOW, IF IT WAS

ON PROFESSIONAL LEVEL,

IF YOU DID, YOU KNOW, I MEAN,

IT WOULD BE PRETTY MUCH

BIG-TIME DAMAGE, YOU KNOW.

YOU WOULD--

>> THOSE FANS ARE--THOSE FAN--

HOOLIGANS, THAT'S WHAT THEY ARE.

>> YEAH, HOOLIGANS, EXACTLY.

>> A BUNCH OF HOOLIGANS.

>> YEAH.

>> ALTHOUGH IT IS KIND OF FUN

WHEN YOU'RE WATCHING A WORLD CUP

GAME AND YOU SEE--

[loud cheering]

PETE!

CAN WE CHANGE THE CHANNEL?

I'D LIKE TO WATCH HOUSE HUNTERS

INTERNATIONAL, PERSONALLY.

>> AHH!

>> OUCH!

[groans]

HOOLIGANS!

>> HOOLIGANS.

>> YOU DON'T GET THAT

AT A GAY BAR.

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