Epic Beard Man

  • Season 2, Ep 208
  • 03/03/2010
  • Views: 376,741
0 comments

If you're going to San Francisco, never mess with the crazy, racist, old war veterans on the bus. (2:24)

ALL RIGHT, OUR NEXT VIDEO GOT

REALLY POPULAR A FEW WEEKS AGO.

IN CASE YOU MISSED IT, HERE'S

THE BEARD MAN'S BUS FIGHT.

THERE'S A MISUNDERSTANDING

BETWEEN THIS OLD WHITE GUY AND

THIS BLACK GUY ABOUT WHO'S GONNA

SHINE WHOSE SHOES.

NOW -- YEAH.

THE BLACK GUY THINKS THE WHOLE

DISCUSSION IS RACIST, BUT THE

WHITE GUY CLAIMS IT'S NOT BY

SAYING THIS.

>> IT COULD BE A CHINAMAN.

IT DON'T MATTER.

>> "IT COULD BE A CHINAMAN.

IT DON'T MATTER."

SOLID ARGUMENT.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT FOR SOME REASON, THEY KEEP

FIGHTING, UNTIL THE WHITE GUY

WALKS TO THE FRONT OF THE BUS.

YEAH, HE'S LIKE ROSA PARKS WITH

A BEARD.

NOTICE, HE'S WEARING A "I'M A

MOTHER[BLEEP]" T-SHIRT, WHICH

SENDS A MIXED MESSAGE WHEN

WEARING A FANNY PACK.

NOW THE BLACK GUY WALKS OVER TO

MAKE GOOD ON HIS PROMISE OF

PUTTING HIS FOOT UP THE WHITE

GUY'S ASS.

TURNS OUT TO BE AN AWFUL

DECISION.

YEAH.

OH!

MY GRANDPA IS SUCH A PUSSY.

[LAUGHTER]

LOOK AT THAT BLOOD.

[AUDIENCE OHS]

I KNOW.

HE'S LEAKING!

AT TIMES LIKE THIS, THERE'S ONLY

ONE THING TO DO.

>> BRING A "AMBULAMS."

[LAUGHTER]

>> WHAT WAS THAT?

>> BRING A "AMBULAMS."

>> A "AMBERLAMPS."

[LAUGHTER]

OH, YOU MEAN AN AMBULANCE!

ALL RIGHT, I GOTCHA.

WELL, THE INTERNET HAS GONE

PRETTY NUTS WITH THIS VIDEO.

THERE'S CARTOONS, T-SHIRTS, BUT

MY FAVORITE HAS GOT TO BE THIS.

♪ WHOA, BLACK BETTY

>> AMBULAMS.

♪ WHOA, BLACK BETTY

>> AMBULAMS.

♪ BLACK BETTY HAD A CHILD

>> AMBULAMS.

♪ THE DAMN THING GONE WILD

>> AMBULAMS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> SOME COMMENTERS HAVE PRAISED

THIS OLD MAN FOR BEATING UP A

THUG, BUT THIS INTERVIEW WE

FOUND PROVES THAT HE'S ACTUALLY

A SAD, CRAZY WAR HERO.

>> I AIN'T NO HERO, MAN.

I'M A VIETNAM VET.

AND MY MAMA DIED.

MY MAMA DIED.

>> OKAY, DON'T FEEL TOO BAD.

HE'S REALLY OLD.

HIS MOM SHOULD BE DEAD.

[LAUGHTER]

ALSO, IT TURNS OUT THAT THE

BLACK GUY IS ACTUALLY 50 YEARS

OLD, VAGUELY EFFEMINATE, AND WAS

EVEN A LITTLE DRUNK.

>> I WAS MINDING MY OWN

BUSINESS, AND --AND --

AND I'M QUITE SURE HE COULD TELL

THAT I WAS INTOXICATED.

>> YEAH.

THE OLD MAN'S VICTORY IS NOT

THAT IMPRESSIVE ANYMORE, IS IT?

THAT'S WHY I'D LIKE TO GIVE

THOSE TWO GREAT AMERICANS A

CHANCE TO SETTLE THEIR BEEF ONCE

AND FOR ALL IN OUR FIRST EVER

WEB REMATCH.

AND IF YOU GUYS COME ON MY SHOW,

WE PROMISE TO HAVE AN

"AMBERLAMS" STANDING BY.

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