College Campus Invasion - Tweet and Greet - Uncensored

  • Season 3, Ep 322
  • 09/20/2011
  • Views: 243,490
0 comments

Daniel sits down with Arizona State University students for some 10-second questions, offers and insults. (2:18)

I HAVE SOME OF THE MEANESTFOLLOWERS IN THE WORLD,

BUT I WANTED TO SEEIF YOU HAD THE BALLS

TO INSULT MERIGHT TO MY FACE.

THAT'S WHY I ARRANGEDA TWEET AND GREET ON CAMPUS

AND GAVE YOU GUYSTEN SECONDS EACH

TO TELL MEWHATEVER YOU WANTED.

[laughs]

[cheering]

- I REALLY DON'T KNOWWHAT TO SAY.

NEVER MET, LIKE,A D-LIST CELEBRITY BEFORE.

- [laughs]I'LL TAKE IT.

- OH, MY GOD.I'M NEVER NERVOUS LIKE THIS.

- AND YOUR TIME'S UP.- NO! [laughs]

WAIT.- YOU HAVE TO LEAVE.

- CAN I BEAN DIP YOU?

- N--OH, I LIKE IT.[laughs]

- CAN I GET, LIKE,A KISS OR SOMETHING?

- NO.- OH, WHY NOT?

- BECAUSE I DON'T WANNAGET ANYTHING.

- WEIRD.

- YOU CAN'TJUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER.

YOU LOOK DIRTY.I--

- I'VE NEVER WATCHEDA SINGLE EPISODE OF YOUR SHOW.

- OKAY.

- IT'S NOT--I NEVERTHOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY.

- HEY, BUT YOU'RETHE FUNNIEST

WHITE GUY I KNOW, BRO.

- THANK YOU.- STRAIGHT UP.

- YOU'RE THE ONLYBLACK GUY I KNOW

THAT GOES TO ASU.

- FUCK THAT.

DIDN'T EVENPUT ON UNDERWEAR, MAN.

JUST FUCKING DIPPED--

- YOU DON'T GOT UNDERWEAR ON?- NO.

SERIOUSLY.- [laughs]

- TRUST FALL.- [screams]

- WHY ARE YOU UNDERAN UMBRELLA

WHEN IT'S NOT SUNNY OUT?

- YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE,SHOULD UNDERSTAND THE DANGERS

OF GETTING SUN,EVEN ON A CLOUDY DAY.

- [laughs]

- I CAN PUT MY FISTIN MY MOUTH.

- CAN I SEE IT?- YEAH.

- [chuckles]

- CAN I GIVE YOU A HUG?- NO.

- NO?- EH, FUCK IT.

- CHEEK KISS?- NO.

- PLEASE?- NO, NO.

- I'M GONNA DO IT.- HUG IT, HUG IT.

- I JUST WANTED TOLET YOU KNOW

THAT I'M STILL A VIRGIN,

SO, HERE'S MY NUMBER.

- OH, I APPRECIATE THAT.

I'VE NEVERBEEN ANYBODY'S FIRST.

- OH, MY GOD.

- THAT'S AWESOME.THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I'M GONNA HAVE SEXWITH YOU.

- HI.- WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

- COULD YOU JUST HIT ME UPTO SMOKE A "J" LATER?

- [laughs]

I LIKE HIM.

- WHY DON'T YOU PRETEND

THAT I HAVE SOMETHINGREALLY FUNNY TO SAY?

HELP ME GETSOME PUSSY HERE.

- OKAY.[laughs]

- ISN'T THAT FUNNY?THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

- WILL YOU HAVE SEXWITH MY GIRLFRIEND?

- WHAT'S SHE LOOK LIKE?

- BLONDE ONE.

- NO.- WHAT ABOUT ME?

- YES!- YEAH!

- WHAT UP, TOSH?HOW'S IT GOING?

- HOW ARE YOU?LOOK AT THIS GUY.

- DOING GOOD.

- MAN, YOU'RE WHAT HITLERHAD IN MIND.

- I AM?THANKS. [laughs]

- THANKS FOR COMING,GUYS.

[crowd shouting]

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