Petition the President - Uncensored

  • Season 5, Ep 509
  • 04/02/2013
  • Views: 47,521
0 comments

Daniel enlists his fans to help him change the world by petitioning President Obama. (1:30)

AND FINALLY, I WENT TO PRESIDENTOBAMA'S WEBSITE

AT WHITEHOUSE.GOV, WHERE ANYONECAN FILE A PETITION

TO GET IMPORTANT NEW LAWSON THE BOOKS.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GETA MEASLY 100,000 SIGNATURES,

AND THE PRESIDENT IS REQUIREDTO ISSUE AN OFFICIAL RESPONSE.

UH-OH.

SOMEONE DOESN'T REALIZE WHATA STRONG ONLINE PRESENCE I HAVE.

HERE ARE MY PROPOSALS TOGET THIS COUNTRY BACK ON TRACK.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT BY LOGGING ONAND ADDING YOUR SIGNATURE.

FIRST UP, I WANT TO...

[laughter]

ONE BORING, COLD STATE.

AND $10s AND $50s.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,

GET RID OFBUTTERSCOTCH HARD CANDIES.

THIS COUNTRYDOESN'T NEED IT.

THERE'S TOO MUCH SHITIN OUR POCKETS.

ALL RIGHT.

[laughter and applause]

I'D LIKE TO...

AND STOP MAILING OUT ALL THOSESTUPID BIG BLUE COUPONS

EVERY OTHER WEEK.

IF EVERYONE'S GETTING THEM,NO ONE FEELS SPECIAL.

[laughter]

AND YOU'RE KILLINGTHE ENVIRONMENT.

THAT'SA VERY HEAVY CARDSTOCK.

AND MY FINAL PROPOSAL.

[cheers and applause]

FEEL FREE TO SIGN ALL OF THEM

OR JUST THE ONESTHAT HIT YOU CLOSE TO HOME.

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