Hard Knocks Training Camp with Tosh.0 - Uncensored

  • Season 4, Ep 21
  • 09/25/2012
  • Views: 79,249
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"Hard Knocks" takes a look at how the Tosh.0 staff prepares in the off-season. (4:20)

- THE FOLLOWING ISA PRESENTATION OF HB.0 SPORTS.

[dramatic music]

FALL HAS BEGUN.

AND THE TOSH.0 TEAM RETURNS

TO THE OFFICE REJUVENATEDAFTER THE OFF-SEASON.

- TUCK IN YOUR SHIRT!

- BUT NOT EVERYONE ON STAFF

HAS MAINTAINEDPEAK PHYSICAL CONDITION.

HEAD WRITER NICK MALISHAS COME TO CAMP

20 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT.

TOSH KNOWS HE MUST HANDLETHE SITUATION DELICATELY.

- YOU ARE FAT AS FUCK.

- TOSH WASTES NO TIME

PUTTING HIS STAFFTHROUGH ITS PACES.

- EXCEPT FOR ME, I'M SUREYOU ARE ALL A LITTLE RUSTY,

SO LET'S GET TO WORK.

- AFTER FOUR SEASONSAND COUNTLESS INTERNET VIDEOS,

THE TEAM STRUGGLES TO FINDTHE RIGHT CLIPS.

- WE'RE NEVER GONNA USE THATON THE SHOW.

THAT'S NOT FOR US.

NO.IDIOT.

NO.

COME ON.UP YOUR GAME.

UH, NO!

NOBODY CARES ABOUT PRODUCE.

YOU KNOW WHAT?SEND ME THAT LINK.

- IMPROVEMENT IS NEEDED,

AND TOSH'S IMPOSSIBLYHIGH STANDARDS

CAUSE SOME TO CRACKUNDER THE PRESSURE.

- THAT'S GARBAGE!KEEP GOING!

DIG, DIG, DIG!WRITE, WRITE, WRITE!

GIVE ME SOMETHING!

COME ON, COME ON,DIG DEEP.

THERE YOU GO!

WRITE! WRITE!

- WHY ARE YOU GUYSCOMING FORWARD?

DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO JOGIN PLACE?

COME ON, KNEES UP.

- WITH TAPE DAY APPROACHING,

TOSH ATTEMPTS TO MOTIVATEHIS TEAM

WITH SOME INSPIRING WORDS.

- PISS-POOR EFFORT

FROM EVERYONE OF YOUEXCLUDING ME!

IF WE DO THAT NEXT WEEK,

SONS OF ANARCHYIS GONNA DESTROY US

IN THE 18 TO 24 MALE DEMO.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT?

THEN PLAY LIKE IT MATTERS.

HIT THE SHOWERS.

[dramatic music]

[groovy music]

- AFTER A TENSE MORNING,

TOSH BRIGHTENS THE MOODWITH SOME LIGHTHEARTED HAZING

OF THE ROOKIE WRITERS.

- [sobbing]

- [groans]

- BUT THE THINGS GET SERIOUS

WHEN IT'S TIME TO MAKETHE FIRST CUT OF CAMP.

- COME ON IN.HAVE A SEAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS IS,RIGHT?

WE'RE LETTING YOU GO.

NOW THIS ISN'T THE ENDFOR YOU.

- I GOTTA CALL MY GRANDMA.

- CALL YOUR GRANDMA.

WEIRDO.- [exhales]

- NOW HOLD ON.

THE PROBLEM IS YOU'RE WRITINGIN CURSIVE.

I DON'T LIKE TO READ CURSIVE.NO ONE LIKES TO READ CURSIVE.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK YOUTO TURN IN YOUR MARKER.

- IT'S BEEN A PLEASUREWORKING FOR YOU.

- OKAY.

YOU GOTTA GO.

WHERE WAS THIS?

- WITH TEAM MORALEAT AN ALL-TIME LOW

AND TENSION MOUNTING,

TOSH HITS THE STUDIO EARLY

FOR THE FINALPRESEASON EPISODE.

- AND THREE, TWO, ONE.

- WELCOME BACK TO TOSH.0.

- PERFECT.

- SECOND STRING.

DON'T BE TOO FUNNY.

- VETERAN BACKUP HOSTDOM IRRERA

CAN'T WAIT FOR HIS LAST SHOTAT GREEN SCREEN GLORY.

- COMEDY CENTRAL DOESN'T FEEL

THAT I APPEALTO YOUNGER DEMOGRAPHICS.

TELL THATTO THE 18-YEAR-OLD TWINS

I FINGERED LAST NIGHT.

- FOR DANIEL TOSH,

EACH NEW DAY MEANS A CHANCETO IMPROVE.

DESPITE THE FAME,WOMEN, MONEY,

CARS, MEN, WORLD TOURS,CARTOON SHOWS,

GOLDMAN SACHS ACCOUNTS,

AND DESIGNER DOGS,

TOSH IS STILL THE LAST ONEOUT OF THE DOOR EACH NIGHT.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY HE KNOWS.

[cheers and applause]

- I LOOKED HOT AS USHE.

JUST LIKE THE REAL DOLPHINS,

THERE'S NOT A LOT OF STAR POWERON THAT TEAM.

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