Web Reflection - Best of Season 8

Season 8 , Ep 30 Views: 3,444

Daniel looks back on a historically awful year and recaps another season of hijinks and strange encounters. (7:49)

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- TIME FOR A QUICK--AH, [BLEEP] IT.

NO, [BLEEP] ME.I'M SCREWED.

HMM, [BLEEP].

DO IT ALL OVER, FROM THE TOP.GOD DAMN IT, DANIEL.

[GIBBERISH]

[BLEEP] [BLEEP] [BLEEP].SHOULD HAVE [BLEEP] UP.

[INHALES]UGH.

[BLEEP!NUTS.

JUST FAKE LAUGH AT THESE JOKES.

THIS IS WHAT WE DO HERE.

FYI.[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

SACK OF [BLEEP], DANIEL.

UGH, [BLEEP], [BLEEP], [BLEEP],[BLEEP], [BLEEP], [BLEEP].

[BLEEP], [BLEEP], [BLEEP].

[BLEEP], [BLEEP], [BLEEP],[BLEEP].

IT WAS EITHER BLOOPERS

OR MY HOT MIC CONVERSATIONSWITH BILLY BUSH.

2016 WILL EASILY GO DOWNAS THE BEST YEAR EVER,

IF YOU IGNORE 99% OF EVERYTHINGTHAT HAPPENED.

LOT OF DEATHS THIS YEAR:

BOWIE, SHANDLING,LARRY WILMORE,

APPLE'S HEADPHONE JACK,DEMOCRACY.

PRINCE FINALLY FOUND A WAYTO TURN HIS WHOLE BODY PURPLE,

BEYONCÉ'S "LEMONADE"WAS SO POWERFUL

IT KILLED THE INVENTOROF THE ARNOLD PALMER,

AND ALI STOPPED FLOATINGLIKE A BUTTERFLY

AND SHAKING LIKE A BEE.

THE ONLY THINGAMERICA HATED MORE

THAN AN ALL-FEMALE"GHOSTBUSTERS"

WAS AN ALL-FEMALE PRESIDENT.

LOOKS LIKE YOU CAN GO BACKAFTER YOU GO BLACK.

TONS OF PEOPLE SHOT EACH OTHER

AND WE DECIDED TO DO ABSOLUTELYNOTHING ABOUT GUN CONTROL.

WE LEARNED DISNEY WORLD ISTHE HAPPIEST PLACE ON EARTH,

FOR HUNGRY ALLIGATORS.

AND WE GOT ZIKA BABIESJUST IN TIME

FOR ABORTION TO BECOME ILLEGAL.

THERE WERE SEVERALIMPORTANT HASHTAGS THIS YEAR.

#IMWITHHER,#BLACKLIVESMATTER,

BUT NONE THAT RESONATEQUITE LIKE

#FINGERSINTHEBOOTYASSBITCH.

ANGELINA LEFT BRAD.

STRAHAN LEFT SKELETOR.

ENGLAND LEFT EUROPE,AND FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER,

PEOPLE GOT MAD WHENA BLACK PERSON LEFT OKLAHOMA.

KAEPERNICK AND AARON RODGERS'HOMOPHOBIC LITTLE BROTHER

BOTH GOT DOWN ON ONE KNEE.

PEYTON MANNING BECAMETHE FIRST QUARTERBACK

TO POSTHUMOUSLY WIN A SUPER BOWL

AND TOM BRADY FINALLY ADMITTEDHE WAS A CHEATER.

RYAN LOCHTE WAS SOMEHOWTHE SKETCHIEST THING

ABOUT THE RIO OLYMPICS,

AND THE CLEVELAND INDIANS

GOT WHAT THEY DESERVEDFOR HAVING A RACIST LOGO.

SO 2016 WASN'T A TOTAL BUMMER.

NOW, LET'S TAKE A LOOK BACKAT HOW I, AND I ALONE,

HEROICALLY GOT YOUTHROUGH THESE BIGLY, HUGE,

DEPLORABLE,TREMENDOUSLY NASTY TIMES

IN THIS YEAR'S WEB REFLECTION.

[RECORDER MELODY]

- AND IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'REPLAYING THE RECORDER

THROUGH YOUR EYE.

- YOU EVER PLAY IT UNDERWATER?

- MY LAST NAME'S WATERHOUSE,MAN.

- SO NO?

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

- I'M THE BONG LORD.

- I'M THE POT DOCTOR.

WHOO!WHOO!

I'VE GOT AN IDEA.WHAT ABOUT A LIGHTBULB PANINI?

- A LOT OF MY FRIENDS GOIN THERE, GET THE COLD COFFEE.

WELL, ICED COFFEEI GUESS IT'S CALLED.

- ENGAGE YOUR AIR DUSTERS!

THIS IS THE SEASONOF CABIN COUTURE.

RESORT WEAR.

DANIM IN DENIM.

- WHOO-HOO!YEAH, BABY!

- UGH!

- [GROWLING]

- [SHOUTING]

- YOU DON'T WANTTO BRUISE THE CHEESE.

- WHY DON'T YOU GO BACK TOSHUTTING THE [BLEEP] UP, JEFF?

- WHOOP, WHOOP!

[ROCK MUSIC]

- WHAM-SAUCE.

THIS THING IS A BEAST!

HI-YA!

- OW!THE FILLING IS BURNING MY FACE!

- [BLEEP] MY CLIT, ARN.

- AH!

- IT'S MID JULY.

EVERY YEAR YOU'RE OUT HEREEARLIER AND EARLIER.

HOT!LASAGNA'S HOT TOO!

- AH!

- DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TOTO SAVE HER,

YOU SON OF A BITCH!

- I'M TALKING TO YOU.

- I'M SORRY.I'M JOKING.

IT'S A JOKE.

- AH!

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE LOOKON YOUR DUMB PARENTS' FACE.

[GUNSHOTS]

- UH!

[GUNSHOT]

WAS THAT ARNOLD?

[GUNSHOT]AH!

- WELL, TINKER BELL HEREIS A BUTT FAIRY.

COME ON, BOYS.LET'S HAVE SEX WITH HIM.

[ALL CHEERING]

[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]

- [ELECTRONIC VOICE] DOUBLE PENETRATION.

- I LIKE GIRLS WITH NO MAKEUP

AND NO VAGINAS AND HAIRY ARMS

AND BIG, HUGE ADAM'S APPLES.

GOD DAMN, I LOVE WOMEN.

WE GAVE YOUTHE HANDICAPPED CHAIR.

- FEELS LIKE MY ASSIS BEING RIPPED APART.

- UH-HUH.

- TOLD YOU NOT TO COME BACKHERE, TAILPIPE.

- WE ALL HAVE NICKNAMESFOR EACH OTHER.

I HAVE, LIKE, 20.

- I'M CHOKINGON A BIG, FAT BLACK DICK!

- FOR $5, I'LL LET YOUPLANT THAT GREEN THUMB

IN MY DIRT HOLE.

- JUST STARE AT THE CEILINGWITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN

AND YOUR LEGS SPREADIF YOU HAVE FEELINGS FOR ME.

HAVE YOU EVER HEARDOF MEXICAN BUKKAKE?

- INSTEAD OF SEMEN,IT'S POOP.

- CHUBBY BUTT FART TOWN.

- YEAH, I LOVE GEOGRAPHY.

- OH, SO DO I, ACTUALLY.

WHAT'S THE WORSTBODILY FLUID?

- DIARRHEA.

[BOTH LAUGHING]- DIARRHEA IS BAD.

SO THAT'S AN ACTUAL GLASSOF YOUR URINE.

- DO YOU WANT METO DRINK IT ALL?

- NOT ALL OF IT.JUST A SIP.

OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH.

- [ELECTRONIC VOICE] VASECTO-SWITCH 2.0.

SINGLE SWITCH THAT REROUTES THE SPERM

SAFELY OUT THE ANUS HOLE.

- I'VE HAD A FEWPROCEDURES MYSELF.

OW!I DIDN'T LIKE THAT.

MY SHVANTZ!

- THIS IS MY FAVORITETRUST EXERCISE.

- OH!

OOH, THAT DIDN'T HURT

BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE A PENIS.

ALL: ♪ HILLARY IN THE HOUSE

♪ HILLARY IN THE WHITE HOUSE

- WELCOME TO THETOSH.OLECTION SPECIAL,

COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM CANADA.

I ASSUME YOU'RE VOTINGFOR TRUMP.

- ABSOLUTELY.

- A SIMPLE ADJUSTMENTTO THE TRANSITION OF THE LAUNCH

WILL LET THEM FLYOVER TRUMP'S WALL.

- TRUMP 2016.

- GOOD LUCK EXPLAINING THAT

TO YOUR LIBERALHOLLYWOOD FRIENDS.

THE KNITTERS ARE RUININGTHIS COUNTRY.

HOW DOES EVERYONE FEELABOUT THE TERM "NOMI-NEGROES."

- OH, HELL NO.

- THAT'S A HARD NO.WATCH IT, WHITE BOY.

- LET THIS BE A WARNINGTO ALL COONS

WHO CHOOSE TO SET FOOTIN THIS NEIGHBORHOOD.

OH, THAT SOUNDED REALLY BAD.

I HAVE--RACCOON.

[ALL CHEERING]

BOTH: ♪ DAD IS GREAT

♪ GIVE US THE CHOCOLATE CAKE

- I'M RICKY WILLIAMS,

AND THIS IS THE SAFEST HELMETIN THE WORLD.

- WHO'S YOUR PRESEASONSUPER BOWL PICK?

- SEAGULLS.- THE SEAGULLS.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC]

ALL MY FAM, GET READYTO STEP ON MY COUNT!

I KNOW YOU DANCE FOR THE LORD,

BUT DO YOU THINK HE'D MINDIF I CUT IN?

[HOWLING]

- YEAH, BOYEE!

- GOT YOU, GRAVE-ROBBING BITCH!- AH!

- [SHOUTING]

- DON'T BE SCARED, HOMEY!WHOO!

- [BLEEP] BOYS, ROLL OUT.

- YOU HAVEN'T HEARD THE LASTOF THE [BLEEP] BOYS.

- COME ON, ERIC.

"TOSH.0" TILL WE [BLEEP] DIE.

TO SEE AN EXTENDED CUT OF THAT,WATCH THE ENTIRETY OF SEASON 8.

WE DID A VERSION OF THAT JOKEIN SEASON 5.

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