Web Redemption - "Smell Yo D**k" Girl - Uncensored

  • Season 4, Ep 411
  • 05/29/2012
  • Views: 134,378
0 comments

Aviance, singer of Riskay's "Smell Yo D**k," sits down with Daniel to discuss the telltale smell of a cheater's penis. (7:32)

- ♪ WHY YOU COMIN' HOME5:00 IN THE MORN? ♪

- ♪ SOMETHING'S GOIN' ON

♪ CAN I SMELL YO DICK?

- ♪ DON'T PLAY ME LIKE A FOOL,'CAUSE THAT AIN'T COOL ♪

- ♪ SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DOIS LET ME SMELL YOUR DICK ♪

- ♪ IT'S 4:00AND I'M SLEEPIN' ♪

- ♪ IT'S LATE NIGHTAND YOU CREEPIN' ♪

- ♪ YOU COULD'VE TOLD ME,"I'M LEAVIN'" ♪

♪ NOW I KNOW YOU'REOUT THERE CHEATIN'♪

- ♪ WHY YOU COMIN' HOME5:00 IN THE MORNING? ♪

♪ SOMETHING'S GOING ON

♪ CAN I SMELL YOUR DICK?

- IT'S ALSO A GREAT WAYTO FIND OUT

IF YOUR MANHAS BEEN JOGGING.

THAT BONER BLOODHOUNDIS AVIANCE,

AND SHE WAS SINGINGTHE MOST BEAUTIFUL BALLAD

THE WORLD HAS EVER KNOWN, SMELL YO DICK.

INHALING YOUR BOYFRIENDIS THE ULTIMATE LIE DETECTOR,

BUT HOW ABOUTJUST CHECKING HIS TEXTS

WHILE YOU WERE ASLEEPLIKE A NORMAL PSYCHO?

MAYBE IF YOU DIDN'TCALL HIS ASS

15 MOTHERFUCKING TIMESHE WOULDN'T FEEL THE NEED

TO STAY OUT TILL 5:00IN THE MORNING

PUTTING HIS JUNKINTO STANKY COOCHIES.

THE REAL PROBLEMISN'T CHEATING.

IT'S MONOGAMY.EVERY GUY WANTS TO CHEAT.

SO IF YOUR BOYFRIENDIS FAITHFUL,

KNOW THAT HEIS ALSO MISERABLE.

NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR CHEATING.

"OH, I'M SORRY I DID WHATEVOLUTION PROGRAMMED ME TO DO."

YOU KNOW WHAT'S NOT NATURAL?

STILL BEING ATTRACTEDTO SOMEONE

YOU'VE SHARED A BATHROOMWITH FOR 20 YEARS.

"BUT SWANS MATE FOR LIFE."

THAT'S BECAUSETHEY HAVE TINY BRAINS.

PLUS, ALL GIRL SWANSHAVE THE SAME SIZED TITS.

GETTING SOME STRANGEON THE SIDE ISN'T ALL BAD.

MARY CHEATED ON JOSEPHWITH GOD

AND THAT SEEMED TO WORK OUTPRETTY WELL FOR ALL OF US.

AND CHEATINGCREATED ADELE,

SO IF YOU ARE DATING A GIRLTHAT CAN SING,

PLEASE SCREW AROUND ON HERSO WE CAN ALL HAVE

A BEAUTIFUL SONGTO CRY ABOUT NEXT YEAR.

OF COURSE, NONE OF THIS APPLIESWHEN A GIRL CHEATS ON ME.

THEN CHEATING IS AWFUL,

AND YOU DESERVE TO BE CALLEDTHE "C" WORD.

BUT I STILL WANTEDTO MAKE AVIANCE

THE NEWEST TOSH.HO.

THAT'S WHY I FLEW SHORTYTO HOLLYWOOD,

THE CAPITALOF UP IN YOUR FUCK,

FOR THIS WEEK'SWEB REDEMPTION.

[applause]

IT'S ALMOST 5:00IN THE MORNING.

WHERE THE HELL IS AVIANCE?

- I'M HERE.I'M SORRY I'M LATE.

TRAFFIC WAS A BITCH.

- TRAFFIC?- YES.

- LET ME SMELL YOUR PUSSY.

WELL, TELL MEABOUT THE SONG.

- WELL, YOU KNOW,ERIC, BIG BABY,

HE CALLED ME ONE DAY,HE WAS LIKE,

"MAN, I GO THIS SONGI NEED TO YOU GET ON."

SO I'M LIKE, "OKAY.WHAT'S IT ABOUT?"

HE'S LIKE,"SMELLING DICK."

- YOU FELL IN LOVEWITH IT IMMEDIATELY?

- I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT.

- HOW OLD IS THAT SONG?

- ABOUT SIX YEARS.- SIX YEARS.

- I WAS 17.I'M 23 NOW.

HOLD ON. YOU WERE17 YEARS OLD WHEN YOU WERE--

WHEN YOU SANG IT?- I WAS 17 YEARS OLD,

AND THAT'S JUST SOMETHINGNOBODY WANTS TO TALK ABOUT,

BUT IT'S TRUE.

- WERE YOU WORRIEDABOUT ASKING

A 17-YEAR-OLD GIRLTO SMELL YOUR DICK?

- I DIDN'T ASK HERTO SMELL MY DICK.

- IN THEORY YOU DIDN'T,BUT YOU WROTE THE SONG.

- I MEAN, AT THE TIME,YEAH, SHE WAS 17,

BUT SHE WAS ABOUTTO TURN 18.

UM, I'M NO--

- WHAT'S IT ABOUT?

- YOU KNOWHOW WOMEN HAVE GUYS

AND THEY COME HOME LATE.

YOU CALL THEM,THEY DON'T ANSWER.

YOU TEXT THEM,THEY DON'T ANSWER.

SO WHEN THEY GET BACK,YOU KNOW,

YOU TELL HIM, "HEY, LET MESMELL YOUR DICK."

- YOU EVER SMELLEDA MAN'S PENIS?

- OH, YEAH.- OH!

I DON'T THINK THAT WASTHE ANSWER I WAS EXPECTING.

ARE YOU HURTTHAT SMELL YO DICK

WAS SNUBBED AT THE GRAMMYS?

- YEAH, SHIT YEAH.

- THE MESSAGE SHOULD BE,YOU SHOULDN'T CHEAT.

- POINT BLANK, YEAH.

- I'VE NEVER CHEATEDON A GIRL.

- I DON'T BELIEVE THAT.- I HAVEN'T.

- HMM.- I'M FAITHFUL.

IF I DON'T WANT TO BEIN A RELATIONSHIP,

I'M HONEST AND UPFRONT

AND I GET OUTOF THE RELATIONSHIP.

- OKAY.- NO, I'M KIDDING.

I THROW THAT DICK EVERYWHERE.- [laughs]

- NOW, DID THIS SONGCOME FROM PERSONAL PLACE?

HAD YOU BEENCHEATING ON SOMEONE?

- I'VE CHEATED BEFORE.

- HAVE THEY ASKEDTO SMELL YOUR DICK?

- NEVER.

- WHAT DOES A CHEATINGDICK SMELL LIKE?

- YOU'LL HAVE TO ASKA DICK SMELLER.

[laughter]I'M NOT A DICK SMELLER.

- WHAT SHOULD I DOIF I COME HOME

SAY, 4:30, 5:00ish,IN THE MORNING

AND MY GIRLFRIEND WANTSTO SMELL MY DICK?

WHAT'S THE GO-TO MOVE?- DON'T COME HOME.

- OH, MAN, THEY PLAYED ITON A COUPLE RADIO STATIONS.

WE ACTUALLY DID,I THINK, FOUR VERSIONS.

- OH, SO YOU DID DOA CLEAN VERSION?

- OH, YES.

- DID YOU EVER CALL ITA CHICKSICLE?

- ONE OF THEM IS CALLED♪ SMELL YO NECK ♪

- YOU COULD'VE DONE SMELL YOUR WEENIE.

- YEAH, BUT THAT'S BORING.

- THAT DOESN'T HAVE QUITETHE RING TO IT.

- THEY WANT TO KNOWTHE REAL STUFF.

- I GOTCHA. SMELL YOUR GOO GUN.

YOUR DISCO STICK. - NO.

- NO? SMELL YOUR ONE-EYED WORM.

- NO.- SMELL YOUR MAN-CLIT.

- NO, THAT'S--UGH.

- WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCEBETWEEN

THE SMELL OF A NUT CANNONAND THE BALLS?

- WHAT'S THE NUT CANNON?- YOUR DICK.

- OH, OKAY.[exhales]

DEPENDS ON IFYOU'RE CIRCUMCISED.

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,YOU HAVE ALL THAT FAT

LEFT OUT OR WHATEVER.- SKIN.

- THAT'S WHAT CARRIESTHE SMELL, THE BALLS.

- I LIKE THE IDEAOF NOT HAVING BALLS.

- I NEED TO HOLD THEM.

- YOU KNOW WHY I DON'TWANT YOU HOLDING 'EM?

- WHY?- IT GIVES YOU TOO MUCH POWER.

- WELL, WHEN YOU SQUEEZE 'EM.IT PUSHES UP THE JUICE.

- WHAT?- [laughs]

- I THINK YOU SHOULDTEACH AN ANATOMY CLASS.

- I COULD.

- DOES A BLACK DICK

SMELL DIFFERENTTHAN A WHITE DICK?

- IT MIGHT.- I WONDER IF IT DOES.

- ASK AVIANCE.SHE MIGHT KNOW.

- [laughs]I'M NOT GONNA ASK HER.

THAT SEEMS INAPPROPRIATE.

OKAY, YOUR SONG ISCLEARLY A MASTERPIECE

AND I THINK IT DESERVESTHE UTMOST RESPECT.

- MM-HMM.

- ARE YOU READY TO GIVETHE PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME?

- MOST DEFINITELY.

[chimes ringing]

[applause]

[orchestra warming up]

[playing classical versionof Smell Yo Dick]

♪ WHY YOU COMIN' HOME5:00 IN THE MORN? ♪

♪ SOMETHING'S GOING ON

♪ CAN I SMELL YO DICK?

♪ DON'T PLAY ME LIKE A FOOL

♪ 'CAUSE THAT AIN'T COOL

♪ SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DOIS LET ME SMELL YO DICK ♪

♪ WHY YOU COMIN' HOME5:00 IN THE MORNING? ♪

♪ SOMETHING'S GOING ON

♪ CAN I SMELL YO DICK?

♪ DON'T PLAY ME LIKE A FOOL,'CAUSE THAT AIN'T COOL ♪

♪ SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DOIS LET ME SMELL YO DICK ♪

- LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,HOLOGRAM COOLIO.

- ♪ HOLOGRAM COOLIOAT THE CONCERT ♪

♪ BITCHES IN THE PLACE,REMOVE YOUR SHIRT ♪

♪ MY DICK SMELL GREATLIKE YOU KNOW IT SHOULD ♪

♪ TAKE A DEEP BREATH'CAUSE I JUST GOT WOOD ♪

♪ YOU THINK I'M CHEATIN'?YOU'RE DAMN WRONG ♪

♪ I DON'T HIT THE SKIDS, HO,I HIT THE BONG ♪

♪ YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE,BUT YOU GOT YOU NO CLASS ♪

♪ YOU CAN'T SMELL MY DICK,BUT YOU CAN KISS MY ASS ♪

- ♪ WHY COMIN' HOME5:00 IN MORN? ♪

♪ SOMETHING'S GOING ON

♪ CAN I SMELL YO DICK?

♪ DON'T PLAY ME LIKE A FOOL,'CAUSE THAT AIN'T COOL ♪

♪ SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DOIS LET ME SMELL YO DICK ♪

- ♪ DON'T PLAY MELIKE A FOOL ♪

♪ 'CAUSE THAT AIN'T COOL

♪ SO WHAT YOU NEED TO DOIS LET ME SMELL ♪

♪ YOUR DICK

[applause]

- I CAN'T BELIEVE THESEMOTHERFUCKERS

SPENT $400,000ON HOLOGRAM COOLIO.

SHIT, THEY COULD'VE GOTREAL COOLIO FOR 100.

[applause continues]

- [sniffs]

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