Video Breakdown - Assassination Attempt

  • Season 5, Ep 501
  • 02/05/2013
  • Views: 40,489
0 comments

This guy forgets the most important part of an assassination attempt. (1:29)

[audience oohs]

- RELAX.

HE CLEARLY HASA PRESS LANYARD.

LITTLE LATETO CHANGE YOUR STANCE

ON GUN CONTROL NOW,ISN'T IT?

LET'S SEE IF COMEDY CENTRALFINALLY GAVE US THE GREEN LIGHT

TO SHOW MURDERSIN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

[cheers and applause]

WELCOME TO BULGARIA, OR AS YOUMAY KNOW IT, SORT-OF-RUSSIA.

- [speaking native language]

- I'M TOLD THE GUYSPEAKING GIBBERISH

IS ACTUALLY ARESPECTED POLITICIAN.

YOU THOUGHT HE WAS JODIE FOSTER,DIDN'T YOU?

WHATEVER HE'S TALKING ABOUT,

I'M SURE IT WILL HAVEA HUGE IMPACT

ON THE WORLD GOULASH MARKET.

- [speaking native language]

- YOU RARELY SEE SOMEONEIN A BLACK TURTLENECK

AND A LEATHER JACKETDOING SOMETHING NICE.

NO ONE THOUGHTIT'D BE A GOOD IDEA

TO PAT DOWNTHE BOND VILLAIN?

[overlapping shouts]

SEE? GUNS REALLY DON'TKILL PEOPLE.

[slow motion shouting]

YEAH, HE FORGOT A CRUCIAL PARTOF THE PLAN--BUY A BULLET.

[overlapping shouts]

OH, THE SECRET SERVICE FINALLYDECIDES TO SHOW UP?

TO BE FAIR, THEY ALSO HAVE TOBE THE FIRE DEPARTMENT

AND THE FED EX GUYS.

SIR, YOU ARE UNDER ARREST.

YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TOBRUTAL MOB JUSTICE.

[overlapping shouts]

PLEASE BE PATIENT,SENATORS.

EVERYONE WILL GET A CHANCETO KICK HIM.

I'M JUST HAPPY TO SEE VIOLENCEAND GUNS OUT OF THE SCHOOLS

AND BACK INTO POLITICSWHERE THEY BELONG,

AND FOR THAT,WE THANK YOU.

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