30 for 30.0 - Nerf Hoops - Uncensored

  • Season 5, Ep 15
  • 05/14/2013
  • Views: 313,338
0 comments

Daniel and a team of basketball experts take a look at the life of the greatest Nerf dunker who ever lived. (7:35)

- I'M GOING TO SHOW YOUTHE MOST AWESOMEST DUNK,

PROBABLY BETTERTHAN MICHAEL JORDAN.

YOU JUST WATCH AND SEE.

[rock music]

THAT HAS JUST BEEN, UM,MY SLAM DUNK LITTLE THING, YEAH,

SO I HOPE YOU LIKE IT.

I ACTUALLY DID.

- SHOCKING THATTHE REDHEADED KID

IS GOOD AT INDOOR SPORTS.

THAT'S RYAN, AND HE'STHE ORIGINAL FLYING TOMATO.

23 YEARS AGO, HE LIVED LIFEABOVE THE PLASTIC RIM.

AND AS HIS HOMEMADEHIGHLIGHT REEL PROVES,

HE IS WITHOUT QUESTION

THE GREATEST NERF DUNKEROF ALL TIME.

MICHAEL JORDAN ISA DEGENERATE GAMBLER

WITH STASHES OF SECRET KIDSALL OVER AMERICA.

SO, FOR ME,I'D RATHER BE LIKE RYAN.

IF YOU CAN'T DUNK,YOU ARE MEANINGLESS.

YOU DON'T SEETOO MANY SNEAKERS

WITH A SILHOUETTE OF OLDLARRY BIRD DRAINING A THREE.

POSTERIZING IS THE MOSTEMBARRASSING THING

YOU CAN DO TO ANOTHER MAN.

BUT WE NEED A NEW TERMFOR IT,

BECAUSE NOBODYHAS POSTERS ANYMORE.

YOU GOT ANIMATED GIFEDOR, UH, JASON TERRYED.

THE ONLY REASON I STILLRESPECT MY DAD

IS BECAUSE I NEVER SAW HIMGET DUNKED ON.

YEAH, HE'D LAY YOU OUT.

ADJUSTABLE RIMSWERE INVENTED

SO WHITE GUYSCOULD SPEND A FEW HOURS

AT BLACK GUY FANTASY CAMP.

BUT BEING ABLE TO DUNKISN'T JUST ABOUT RACE.

IT'S ABOUT GENDER.

WHEN A WOMAN DUNKS, IT'S THE TOPSTORY ON JEZEBEL FOR A MONTH.

TRY IT WITH A REAL BALL.

AND I'M PRETTY SURE WEARINGHEELS IS CHEATING TOO.

SURE,THE DUNK CONTEST SUCKS.

YOU'RE WATCHING SOME BENCHWARMERON THE JAZZ' NINTH ATTEMPT

AT JUMPING OVER SHIT,BUT HE GETS A PERFECT SCORE

BECAUSE IT'S 2013 AND EVERYTHINGWE DO IS HASHTAG AMAZING.

SO I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TOEDUCATE A NEW GENERATION

ABOUT HIS NERFNESS,THE BOY WHO STARTED IT ALL

AND THEN SIMPLY WALKED AWAY

IN A TOTALLY ORIGINALDOCUMENTARY SERIES

WE'RE CALLING 30 FOR 30.0.

[applause]

[dramatic music]

- BY THE AGE OF 12, RYAN WASTHE GREATEST NERF HOOP DUNKER

THE WORLD HAD EVER SEEN.

BY 13, HE WAS GONE.

AFTER ALMOST 25 YEARS,

I WANTED TO UNDERSTANDTHE LEGEND

THAT WOULD END UP SHAKINGEVERY DOORFRAME IN AMERICA.

[laughter]

[rock music]

HOW LONG HAS IT BEENSINCE THAT VIDEO WAS MADE?

- 23 YEARS NOW.

YOU KNOW, WINTERS AREKIND OF LONG IN MICHIGAN,

SO YOU'VE GOTSOME TIME TO KILL.

I WAS JUST TRYINGTO GET CREATIVE

AND, UH, I REMEMBER ONE

WHERE I DID THE, UH,BEHIND-THE-BACK DUNKS

AND THEN, OF COURSE, I'D THROWTHE BALL BETWEEN MY LEGS.

IT'D BOUNCE OFF THE RIM,I'D DUNK IT.

- THEY SAY YOU CAN'T MEASUREGREATNESS, BUT I THINK YOU CAN,

AND HE WAS ABOUT 5'5".

- WHAT'S CRAZY TO MEIS THAT, BY '91,

HE WAS THE GREATESTNERF DUNKER IN HISTORY,

AND I THINK HE WAS ONLY MAKING$10 A WEEK IN ALLOWANCE.

- HOW OLD WERE YOUWHEN YOU MADE THIS VIDEO?

- 12 OR 13.

- HOW TALL WERE YOU?

- 5'3".

- I'VE SHATTEREDMY SHARE OF BACKBOARDS,

BUT WHAT RYAN DID TO 'EM,IT WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD.

- I TRIED TO STEALEVERY MOVE HE HAD.

- HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BEIN THE 1989 SLAM DUNK CONTEST,

BUT LUCKILYFOR KENNY "SKY" WALKER,

RYAN HAD A SOCIAL STUDIES TESTTHAT DAY.

- WHY WERE YOU RECORDING ITTO BEGIN WITH?

- YOU KNOW,BACK IN THE DAY,

JORDAN USED TOPUT OUT VIDEOS,

SO I KIND OF WANTEDTO MAKE MY OWN.

- KIND OF AN UNDERGROUNDSTREET TAPE.

- YEAH.

- LET'S TALK ABOUT YOUR HAIRIN THAT VIDEO.

WHAT DID YOU THINK WAS GONNAHOLD YOU BACK MORE IN LIFE--

BEING WHITE OR REDHEADED?

- PROBABLY REDHEADED.[laughs]

- JORDAN DIDN'T SHAVE HIS HEADBECAUSE HE WAS GOING BALD.

HE SHAVED ITBECAUSE HE COULDN'T GROW

A THICK, CURLY, RED AFRO.

- THERE WASN'T A KIDIN AMERICA

WHO DIDN'T TUCK HIS SHIRTINTO HIS SWEATPANTS

TO IMITATE RYAN.

- AND FOR THOSETHAT DIDN'T KNOW,

RUSSELL WESTBROOKFLAT-OUT STOLE RYAN'S LOOK,

WEARING THOSE BIG-ASSSALLY JESSY RAPHAEL GLASSES.

- WAS THATTHE HAPPIEST TIME OF YOUR LIFE?

- IT WAS--IT WAS GOOD.TIMES WERE GOOD.

- THE ONLY REASONTHEY CALL DOMINIQUE

"THE HUMAN HIGHLIGHT FILM"

IS BECAUSE WHAT RYAN WAS DOINGIN HIS BASEMENT WAS NOT HUMAN.

- TALK ABOUT THE DRUGS.

- THERE WERE RUMORSOF RIM LOWERING

AND A MOUNTAIN DEWADDICTION,

BUT THOSE CLAIMSARE JUST SILLY.

- WHY DID YOU QUIT PLAYINGNERF BASKETBALL?

- MY KNEES. I HAD A RARE DISEASECALLED OSGOOD-SCHLATTER.

- WHAT'S THE NAME OF IT AGAIN?- OSGOOD-SCHLATTER.

IT'S NAMED AFTER THE DOCTORWHO DEVELOPED IT.

- IT IS VERY SERIOUS.

- I AGREE.

- HE DIDN'T TOUCH A NERF BALLFOR OVER A YEAR,

AND HE STILL SHOULD HAVE BEENON THE '92 DREAM TEAM.

- RYAN ISJESUS SHUTTLESWORTH.

DO YOU THINK SPIKE LEEWANTED TO CAST RAY ALLEN,

A SPOT-UP JUMP-SHOOTER IN THEROLE OF THE BASKETBALL MESSIAH?

NO. HE WANTED RYAN.

HE WANTEDTHE NERF BASKETBALL JESUS.

BUT HE WAS GROUNDEDTHAT WEEK.

HE COULDN'T DO THE MOVIE,SO IT WON ZERO OSCARS.

- WHAT WOULD YOU GO BACKAND TELL

THAT 12-YEAR-OLD VERSIONOF YOURSELF?

- NOT MUCH, MAN.

I THINK I JUST--I DID IT RIGHT.YOU KNOW, I HAD FUN.

- WHO'S YOUR FAVORITEWHITE DUNKER OF ALL TIME?

- I DON'T KNOW TOO MANY.

I MEAN, THE ONLY ONETHAT I REMEMBER

BACK IN THE DAYWAS CHUCK NEVITT.

- BRENT BARRY, A WHITE GUY,HE DID THE FREE-THROW LINE

AND WON THE DUNK CONTESTWITH IT,

AND THEN HALF OFBLAKE GRIFFIN.

- [laughs] I WAS GONNASAY BLAKE, BUT I DIDN'T.

- WE HAVE TO CLAIM IT.

- WE ALL WANTED TO CARRYTHAT NERF BALL LIKE RYAN.

HE WAS SO GOOD,HE HAD ALL THE GIRLS.

- HIS FIFTH GRADE GIRLFRIEND

WAS ON THE ORIGINAL SEASONOF BASKETBALL WIVES.

SHE'S STILL TRYING TO MILKTHAT THREE-DAY RELATIONSHIP.

- WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

- I WORK FORA PLASTICS COMPANY.

- ARE YOU MARRIED?- YES, MARRIED.

- YOU MARRIEDYOUR CHILDHOOD SWEETHEART?

- YES. I'VE KNOWN HERSINCE THIRD GRADE.

- DID SHE FALL IN LOVEWITH YOU

BECAUSE OFTHE BASKETBALL VIDEOS?

- SHE KNEW THAT BASEMENTPRETTY WELL.

- DID YOU GUYS MAKEANY OTHER VIDEOS DOWN THERE?

- [laughs]

- THERE'S TWO THINGSI KEEP IN MY POCKET--

MY WALLET AND MY AUTOGRAPHEDNERF BASKETBALL BY RYAN.

I HOPE IT'S HIM. IT'S HARDTO WRITE ON THE FOAM.

- DID YOU RAISE THE BARTOO HIGH

FOR WHITE KIDSIN THEIR BASEMENT?

- I THINK I KEPT ITPRETTY LOW FOR THEM.

- 6'6" ISN'T LOW,MY FRIEND.

RYAN, THANKS A LOT.YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL HOUSE.

- THANK YOU.- AND A BEAUTIFUL WIFE.

- RYAN WAS A COOL DUDE

THAT DID NOT COMPLAINWHEN IT RAINED.

- HE WASTHE ULTIMATE TRENDSETTER.

- BEFORE RYAN CAME ALONG,

IT WAS JUST MIC AND DRILLSAND FREE THROWS.

- THE NERF HOOP HASN'TSURVIVED THE TEST OF TIME

BECAUSE IT'S A GOOD TOY.

IT'S A $4 PIECE OF SHIT.

IT SURVIVEDBECAUSE OF RYAN.

- RYAN, I CAN'T HELP BUT NOTICEYOU HAVE A GOAL SET UP.

YOU GOT ONE MOREIN THE TANK?

I WOULD LOVE TO SEE IT.

- SURE.

ONE, TWO, THREE...

- I THOUGHT I'D SEEN IT ALL.

EVERYTHING THEY SAYABOUT HIM IS TRUE.

THE LEGEND OF RYANWILL NEVER DIE.

[orchestral music]

[slow-motioned shouting]

[crashing]

- AAH!

- GET THE FUCKOUT OF MY HOUSE.

[applause]

- HE'S STILL THE BEST.

HE'S STILL THE BEST.

Loading...