Web Reflection - Best of Season 5 - Uncensored

  • Season 5, Ep 530
  • 12/10/2013
  • Views: 42,873
0 comments

Daniel recaps the past season -- and the past year -- with a look back at his most memorable redemptions and adventures. (6:55)

>> Tosh: IT SOUNDS LIKE AN

EMOTIONAL BROKEN PERSON WHO --

COOSA.

SO MANY WORDS.

I DIDN'T LIKE THAT.

LET ME -- MY MOUTH FROZE ON IT.

I WATCH MILLION DOLLAR LISTINGS

TO KNOW.

[BLEEP] [BLEEP] BUT WATER.

THAT'S ON US AND BY THAT I MEAN

ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WORK HERE

THAT AREN'T ME.

FLAWLESS AGAIN, BE DANIEL.

I MAY START LEAVING THOSE IN.

WHAT CAN I SAY ABOUT 2013 THAT

HASN'T ALREADY BEEN RETWEETED A

THOUSAND TIMES?

THE FIRST YEAR OF MY SECOND TERM

AS YOUR HOST HAS BEEN A DOOZY

NEP WHITE HOUSE IS

THE WHITE HOUSE IS SPYING ON

EVERYONE SO IF YOU REALLY VALUE

YOUR PRIVACY, MOF TO CLEVELAND

WHERE YOU CAN KEEP A BUNCH OF

WOMEN LOCKED IN YOUR BASEMENT

FOR OVER A DECADE AND NO ONE

WILL NOTICE.

OBAMA COULDN'T KEEP WIZ WEBSITE

OR THE GOVERNMENT FROM SHUTTING

DOWN.

THERE WAS A SHARKNADO IN THE

PHILIPPINES AND FOR THE FIRST

TIME IN HISTORY OF THE WORLD SIX

WOMEN AGREED ON THE SAME THING

AND IT'S NOW LEGAL TO KILL BLACK

TEENS IN FLORIDA.

WE HAVE OUR FIRST GAY POPE,

PAULA DEAN FINALLY CAME OUT OF

THE RACIST CLOSET AND SNL FOUGHT

HARD TO KEEP BLACK WOMEN OFF TV.

BEIBER RAN OVER THE PAPARAZZI

AND POUNDED EVERY PROSTITUTE IN

SOUTH AMERICA.

BRUCE JENNER BROKE UP WITH KRIS

AFTER FINALLY MORPHING INTO HER

AND THE ONLY TWO CAST MEMBERS

WHO AREN'T DEAD OR JOBLESS FROM

THE 70s SHOW STARTED BANGING.

ANGELINA JOLIE LOST HER FUN

BAGS, MILEY CYRUS BECAME THE

FIRST SHORT-HAIRED WOMAN YOU CAN

MASTURBATE TO AND EATING

CATHERINE ZETA-JONES GIVES YOU

THROW CANCER.

THE SOPRANOS ALL ENDED THE WAY

WE WANTED TO AND FIN OD'D ON

HEROIN AND AARON HERNANDEZ

KILLED PEOPLE AND FSU'S DEFENSE

WAS GREAT AND DEREK ROSE WON THE

MOST VAL USUAL PATIENT AND

ALABAMA'S SPECIAL TEAMS UNIT IS

MADE OF SPECIAL ED STUDENTS

I HOPE YOU CHOKE ON PIES IN

HELL, SABAN.

ALL IN ALL 2013 WILL BE

REMEMBERED AS AN AVERAGE YEAR

UNLESS YOU LIVE IN BOSTON THOUGH

I'M PROUD TO SAY "TOSH.0"

DELIVERED 900 MINUTES OF QUALITY

TELEVISION SO DON'T COMPLAIN

WITH THE CLIPS YOU'VE ALREADY

SEEN IN THE WEB REFLECTION.

>> JUST A LITTLE ON MY TACO,

PLEASE.

>> HERE'S YOUR MASHED POTATOS.

>> ALL RIGHT YOU JERK IT'S TIME

FOR YOUR MANDATORY WEEKLY AIDS

TEST.

YOU FIGURE IT OUT.

>> YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY?

GET YOUR DRINK ON, GET YOUR

SMOKE ON, GO HOME WITH SOMETHING

TO POKE ON, I'M OUT, [BLEEP].

DO YOU STILL HAVE THE UNDERWEAR

YOU WORE IN THE REDEMPTION?

>> NO.

>> NO ONE CALLED ME AN APPLE

PICKER.

>> I DON'T KNOW HOW MANY TIMES

WE SAID THE N WORD BUT IT SEEMED

ABOUT RIGHT TO ME.

GET YOURSELF A GOOD OLD GANNER?

WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN

FIVE YEARS.

>> WHOA, FUTURE TRIPPING, MAN, I

DON'T DOUGH THAT.

>> LET IT GO.

LET IT GO.

>> TOO FAR, DANIEL, TOO FAR.

>> WAIT.

WE NEED TO SAY GRACE FIRST.

>> WHERE'S MY PAYCHECK.

>> YOU WANT ME TO TELL YOU A

LONG STORY.

>> THEY SURVIVE THE TEST OF TIME

BECAUSE IT'S A GOOD TOY.

>> NO ONE SAID YOU WERE GAY.

I CAN TELL.

I'M NO TYLER PERRY.

>> NOBODY WATCHING THIS DOESN'T

THINK YOU'RE A TOTAL WEIRDO.

>> HICKRY, DICKORY DOCK MY

CLIENT HAS THE RIGHT TO CALL THE

JUDGE --

>> THAT'S WHY YOU HAVE A SMILE

ON YOUR FACE.

>> VERY IMPRESSIVE.

>> Tosh: MISS YOU THE MOST,

BUDDY.

>> HEY.

>> THAT'S FOR ME.

I'M SQUIRTING.

>> THAT'S UNNECESSARY.

GET OUT OF HERE.

>> USED TO BE IN CIRQUE DU

SOLEIL.

>> Tosh: YOU KNOW THE RULES.

NO TOUCHING.

YOUR SEX LIFE STILL ACTIVE?

>> HELL NO.

MY OPERATOR BURNED OUT.

>> Tosh: WHAT ABOUT THE

COSTUMES.

RIGHT HAND, RED.

ARE YOU IN A HEALTHY

RELATIONSHIP NOW?

>> WITH MY OWN BODY.

>> GOOD.

>> YOU DON'T COME HOME HE'LL GET

HIS DIGITS.

DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF A SEX

SYMBOL?

>> I'M HORNY RIGHT NOW.

>> Tosh: WHO'S HERE TO HELP YOU?

>> YOU.

>> YOU AIN'T EVER GOING TO CATCH

ME LIVE.

>> FORGOT TO LOCK THE WHEELS.

>> Tosh: BOTTOM'S UP.

>> THAT'S THE LEAST OF MY BRAIN

ANY MAN'S EVER GOTTEN.

>> Tosh: HEY, BUDDY.

TAKE CHANCES, MAKE MISTAKES.

GET MESSY.

>> [BLEEP].

[BLEEP].

>> Tosh: OH, GOD BLESS OUR NEW

FOUNDING FATHERS.

>> THAT'S NOT A BOOMERANG.

THIS IS A BOOMERANG.

>> Tosh: I'M A DATE.

ARE WE DONE THERE?

LETS SEE HOW MUCH RANGE YOU GOT.

OKAY.

[ SCREAMING ]

>> Tosh: YOUR RECEIPT.

I'LL PUT IT IN THE BAG.

>> IT'S NOT IN PLANE MODE.

[ YELLING ]

[♪♪]

[ TECHNO MUSIC ]

>> LOOK AT THIS ASHY MOTHER

[BLEEP].

>> Tosh: I'M SURE IT'S COMING.

WE'RE LIKE TWO OLD BATS HERE.

>> KEEP ON PRANCING.

>> GET THE [BLEEP] OUT OF MY

HOUSE.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> Tosh: IF YOU WANT TO SEE AN

EXTENDED CUT OF THE MONTAGE

WATCH SEASON FIVE.

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