CeWEBrity Profile - The Illusion Extended Interview

  • Season 5, Ep 507
  • 03/19/2013
  • Views: 11,097
0 comments

The Illusion sets Daniel straight on some conspiracy theories and talks books and movies with him. (4:48)

[people murmuring]

>> HEY, BRO.

HOW'S IT GOING?

>> AW...

YOU MUST BE THE ILLUSION.

>> THAT'S RIGHT.

>> DID YOU WRITE THIS RESUME

ON A FISH TACO WRAPPER?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

REDUCE, REUSE, RECYCLE.

>> DID YOU JUST COME UP

WITH THAT?

>> ORIGINAL.

>> BECAUSE THAT IS GOLDEN.

HOW MANY VIDEOS HAVE YOU POSTED?

>> 450.

>> WHICH ONE OF THOSE VIDEOS

WAS YOUR MOST POPULAR?

>> THE BOWL CUT MAINTENANCE

VIDEO.

>> YOU DON'T REALLY APPEAR

TO HAVE A BOWL CUT RIGHT NOW.

>> I'M GROWING IT OUT

FOR CHARITY.

>> THEN YOU'LL GIVE YOURSELF

ANOTHER BOWL CUT?

>> I THINK I'M GONNA

SHAVE IT OFF.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO REGROUP.

>> IS THAT SOMETHING THAT

YOU'VE ALWAYS DONE?

YOU'VE ALWAYS CUT YOUR OWN HAIR?

>> YEAH, I HAVE TWO HAIRCUTS.

I HAVE THE SHAVED HEAD

AND THE BOWL CUT

AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN.

>> AND HOW OFTEN DO YOU FARM IT

WHEN YOU'RE CUTTING

YOUR OWN HAIR?

>> EVERY TIME.

>> EVERY TIME?

>> YES.

>> THAT'S JUST PART OF IT.

>> NO BOWL CUT'S COMPLETE

WITHOUT AN ERROR.

IT'S GOT TO BE CROOKED.

>> I LIKE IT.

HOW OLD IS THE ILLUSION?

>> INFINITE.

>> HOW OLD ARE YOU?

>> MY PHYSICAL FORM

IS 43 YEARS OLD.

>> PHYSICAL FORM?

>> YEAH, MY SPACE SUIT.

>> WHEN'S YOUR BIRTHDAY?

>> 6/11/69.

GEMINI.

>> I'M A FELLOW GEMINI.

>> YEAH, WE'RE CRAZY.

>> [giggles]

WE ARE.

>> I NEVER KNOW WHO I AM

WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MORNING.

>> OH.

WHAT MAKES YOU ANGRY?

>> WHEN THE SURF SUCKS.

>> WHAT ABOUT COLD WATER?

YOU A FAN?

>> IT'S A PLUS.

>> YOU THINK IT'S A PLUS.

>> IT CUTS THE CROWDS DOWN.

>> AH, THE ILLUSION IS RIGHT.

WHAT'S A TYPICAL DAY LIKE

IN THE LIFE OF THE ILLUSION?

>> WE GET UP, AND WE SORT OF

JUST JUMP INTO IT

WITH NO PRECONCEIVED NOTION

AND LET IT HAPPEN.

>> IS THERE A MRS. THE ILLUSION?

>> NO.

THERE'S NO MRS. ILLUSION.

SHE WOULD BE KNOWN

AS THE HOLOGRAM.

>> HOW HAVE THE BOGGLES

BEEN SELLING?

>> DO YOU HAVE A PAIR OF THESE

ON YOUR HEAD?

THEY'RE THE BOGGLES,

AND THEY'RE BADASS.

>> YOU CANNOT THINK THE BOGGLES

ARE A GOOD IDEA.

>> I MEAN, THEY LOOK STUPID,

BUT THEY ACTUALLY WORK

REALLY WELL.

>> OKAY, THEY'RE FUNCTIONAL.

>> IT'S A FUNCTION

BEFORE FASHION ISSUE.

>> OKAY.

WHEN YOU'RE AT BREAKFAST,

DOES THE ILLUSION GO BAGEL

OR CROISSANT?

>> I DON'T EAT BREAKFAST.

>> WHY DO YOU NOT EAT BREAKFAST?

>> IT WEIGHTS ME DOWN.

I DON'T REALLY LIKE FOOD,

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

>> YOU DON'T LIKE FOOD?

>> I LIKE ICE CREAM.

[laughter]

I SWITCHED FROM COOKIES

TO ICE CREAM, LIKE,

TWO MONTHS AGO.

>> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE KIND

OF COOKIE?

>> IT VARIES, YOU KNOW?

YOU CAN'T EAT TOO MANY OF

THE SAME COOKIE, OR IT GETS

KIND OF OLD.

>> SURE.

>> BUT, YOU KNOW, THE OREOS

FIND THEMSELVES AS A PREFERENCE.

>> WHAT ABOUT A SNICKERDOODLE?

WHAT'S YOUR THOUGHTS

ON A SNICKERDOODLE?

>> I GOT FIRST PLACE,

SANTA CRUZ COUNTY FAIR,

FOR MY SNICKERDOODLES.

>> SNICKERDOODLE FIRST PLACE

CHAMPION, AND THAT'S NOT

ON YOUR RESUME?

>> I WAS YOUNG.

>> WHAT IS SPACESHIP EARTH?

>> IT'S THE ILLUSION,

REPORTING FROM SOMEWHERE

ON SPACESHIP EARTH.

SPACESHIP EARTH IS THIS HOLOGRAM

WE'RE ALL EXPERIENCING

THAT WE KNOW AS EARTH,

BUT IF YOU KIND OF THINK OF IT

AS A BIGGER ISSUE,

IT'S A SPACESHIP JUST JAMMIN'

THROUGH THE SOLAR SYSTEM.

>> IF WE WERE TO DRUG-TEST YOU

RIGHT NOW FOR THIS JOB,

WOULD YOU PASS?

>> ABSOLUTELY.

>> WHOA.

I THINK THAT BLEW

A LOT OF PEOPLE'S MINDS.

>> YEAH.

>> WHAT'S THE HIGHEST LEVEL OF

EDUCATION YOU'VE HAD?

>> COLLEGE, BUT I DIDN'T

GRADUATE.

>> WOULD YOU SAY COLLEGE

IS A WASTE OF MONEY OR NO?

>> I THINK, IN TODAY'S SOCIETY,

IT'S JUST A, UH, DEBT.

IT'S A BURDEN.

I DON'T THINK YOU CAN GET AHEAD

WITH A COLLEGE--

I THINK YOU GO AFTER

YOUR DREAMS.

>> IT'S LITERALLY LIKE

I'M TALKING TO MYSELF RIGHT NOW.

>> [chuckles]

>> WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF

IN FIVE YEARS?

>> WHOA...

FUTURE TRIPPIN', MAN.

I DON'T DO THAT.

[laughter]

>> OH, THAT MIGHT BE

MY FAVORITE ANSWER

I'VE EVER HEARD IN MY LIFE.

YOU JUST GET ELECTED

TO PRESIDENT.

WHAT DO YOU DO ON DAY ONE?

>> MOVE OUT OF THE COUNTRY.

>> YOU'RE GONNA BE THE FIRST

PRESIDENT THAT DOESN'T LIVE

IN THE UNITED STATES?

[laughs]

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

A LOT OF CONSPIRACY THEORIES?

>> THEY'RE MORE LIKE

TRUTH REALITIES

THAN CONSPIRACY THEORIES

AT THIS POINT.

THE WORLD'S RUN BY A CABAL

KNOWN AS THE NEW WORLD ORDER

THAT ARE LOW-FREQUENCY BEINGS

THAT ARE TRYING TO ZAP

OUR HIGH-FREQUENCY ENERGY

AND KEEP US HERE, TRAPPED

IN THIS HOLOGRAM.

>> THAT'S SCARY.

>> YEAH, AND 9/11

WAS SUPER SCARY, RIGHT?

SO WE ALL WENT TO FEAR,

AND FEAR WILL KEEP US HERE.

>> IS THE BIBLE TRUE?

>> YOU KNOW, HOW MANY RENDITIONS

OF THE BIBLE HAVE BEEN WRITTEN?

I CAN'T ANSWER THAT ONE.

>> GOT YOU.

>> I THINK IT'S GOT

SOME VALID INFORMATION,

BUT ALL THE BOOKS DO.

>> WHAT ABOUT HARRY POTTER?

>> SURE, THERE'S PROBABLY

SOME GOOD STUFF IN THERE

THAT'S VALID.

>> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE

OF ALL TIME?

>> I'M A...

BIG LEBOWSKI.

>> THAT IS THE RIGHT ANSWER.

>> AH, YEAH.

>> CAN YOU IMAGINE

IF THE ILLUSION AND THE DUDE

WERE IN THE SAME ROOM?

>> IT'D BE SICK.

IT'D BE PRETTY COOL.

>> THAT WOULD BE AMAZING.

JUST ONE LAST QUESTION.

ARE YOU WILLING TO DO WHATEVER

I SAY AND WORK FOR FREE?

>> OH, YEAH, ABSOLUTELY.

>> WELL, THEN WELCOME ABOARD.

YOU ARE OFFICIALLY TOSH.0'S

NEWEST INTERN STARTING NOW.

>> CAN I, UH, GET OUT

OF THIS SUIT?

MY DAD NEEDS IT

FOR HIS JOB INTERVIEW.

>> YES.

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