Daniel's Movie Career

Season 7 , Ep 15 05/26/2015 Views: 13,617

Daniel makes a case for why directors should cast him in their movies and lays out his terms. (1:40)

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FINALLY, WE CAN ALL AGREEI'M A HUGE TV STAR.

AGREED?

AGREED.

WHICH IS WHYI THOUGHT IT WOULD BE FUN

TO BECOME A HUGE MOVIE STAR.

YOU KNOW, GET OUT OF MY COMFORTZONE, TRY NEW THINGS.

I'M NOT ASKINGTO BE A LEADING MAN,

DESPITE THE LEADING MAN LOOKS.

I'VE SEEN WHAT CAN HAPPEN

WHEN A COMEDY CENTRAL STARTRIES TO CARRY A FILM.

SORRY, DEMETRI.

GOOD LUCK, MS. SCHUMER.

I JUST WANT A BUNCHOF TOSH CAMEOS.

I WOULD HAVE LOVED TO HAVE BEENIN JURASSIC WORLD THIS SUMMER.

YOU KNOW,JUST SOME GUY WITH ICE CREAM,

AND A DINOSAUR EATS ME.

[CLAMORING AND CHATTER]

CAN YOU BELIEVE THEY'RE OUTOF PISTACHIO ICE CREAM?

WHAT KIND OF THEME PARK IS THIS?

HAD TO GO WITH THAT ICE CREAMTHAT HAS BUBBLE GUM IN IT.

[DINOSAUR ROARING]

AHH!

"WAIT, WAS THAT DANIEL TOSH?

I'M PRETTY SURETHAT WAS DANIEL TOSH."

THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODYWILL BE SAYING.

THEN THEY'LL TELLALL THEIR FRIENDS.

BOOM. VIRAL.

SO LISTEN UP, HOLLYWOOD.

HERE ARE MY NONNEGOTIABLE TERMSTO GET ME IN YOUR MOVIE.

FIRST, I ONLY WANT TO BE ON SETFOR ONE DAY.

PREFERABLY, I'D LIKE TO WRAPBEFORE LUNCH.

SECOND, MY RATE: $25,000,

WHICH NORMALLY,I WOULDN'T GET OUT OF BED FOR.

IN RETURN FOR SAID FEE,YOU WILL ENJOY

A CONSIDERABLE BOX OFFICE BUMPTHANKS TO ENDLESS FREE PROMOTION

ON COMEDY CENTRAL'SFLAGSHIP SHOW,

NOT TO MENTIONMY SOCIAL MEDIA PRESENCE,

WHICH HAS BEEN RANKED AMONGTHE TOP 50 IN THE WORLD

BY FORBES.

(ALL)OOH.

YEAH.

THIRD, I AM WILLING TO AUDITION,

BUT ONLY ON MY SHOW.

SEND ME THE SIDES,

I'M NOT READING THE SCRIPT,

LET ME KNOW WHO'S ATTACHED,

AND I'LL AIR MY AUDITION.

IF YOU LIKE WHAT YOU SEEAND AGREE TO MY CONDITIONS,

WE CAN SHOOT A PICTURE.

ALL RIGHT.

HAVE A PLEASANT SUMMER.

BYE, FELICIA.

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