Web Reflection - Best of Season 6

  • Season 6, Ep 30
  • 12/02/2014
  • Views: 23,236
0 comments

Daniel looks back at the biggest news stories of the past season and remembers some of his favorite segments. (6:24)

- IN THE REAL WORLD,

COYOTES RUN FASTERTHAN ROAD RUNNERS.

NO, I'M NOT DOING IT THAT WAY.

YOU [bleep] IDIOT, DANIEL.

[bleep] ME.I [bleep] THAT UP.

IT'S NOT SUMMER CAMP.GOD DAMN YOU.

AH, DANIEL DWIGHT.

THAT'S MY MIDDLE NAME.

DO YOU DO THATWHEN YOU GET UPSET?

NORMALLY, I'D SAY OTHER WORDS.[chuckles]

[bleep] ME.

[bleep] ME.

OH, YOU [bleep].[bleep]!

THAT'S HOW I TALKWHEN THINGS MESS UP, MM-HMM.

ALL THE ANGER--LET IT BOIL, TOSH.

THAT'S HOW YOU KEEPYOUR SHOW ON THE AIR.

YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP RAGE.

I SHOT THOSE BLOOPERS LAST WEEK

SINCE I HAVE YET TO MAKEA SINGLE MISTAKE.

2014 WAS A HELL OF A YEAR.

EVERYONE DUMPED BUCKETSOF ICE WATER ON PEOPLE WITH ALS

FOR FACEBOOK LIKES,

WHICH JUST SEEMS PLAIN CRUEL,IF YOU ASK ME.

SOME GENIUS FOUND A WAY TO MAKETHE ICLOUD RAIN DOWN

CELEBRITY BUTTHOLE SELFIES.

MALAYSIAN AIRLINESLOST MORE PEOPLE THAN LUGGAGE.

AND THE GUY FROM GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST WON

EVERY ACTING AWARD THEY MAKE.

MICHAEL SAM CAN GET MARRIEDIN 35 STATES

BUT CAN'T PLAY PRO FOOTBALLIN ANY OF THEM.

DONALD STERLING AND RAY RICEWERE BOTH SECRETLY RECORDED

BASHING BLACK PEOPLE.

AND WE LEARNED THATTHE ONLY THING MORE DANGEROUS

THAN BEING AN NFL RUNNING BACK

IS BEING ONE OF THEIR KIDS.

LEBRON IS THE FIRST PERSONIN HISTORY

TO MOVE FROM SUNNY SOUTH FLORIDATO RETIRE

AND SLOWLY DIE IN CLEVELAND.

THAT WHINY ROBIN THICKE TRIEDNOT TO BE DIVORCED.

JAY AND BEYONCE TRIEDEVEN HARDER TO SEEM MARRIED.

AND HONEY BOO BOO MOLESTEDHER MOM OR SOMETHING.

I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTIONTO THAT ONE.

AMERICA DECIDED IT WOULD RATHERWATCH FERGUSON, MISSOURI,

THAN FERGUSON ON CBS.

THE LAST ORIGINAL PIECEOF JOAN RIVERS

FINALLY STOPPED WORKING,

AND WE FOUND OUT WHYROBIN WILLIAMS WAS

ALWAYS MORE COMFORTABLE WEARINGRAINBOW SUSPENDERS THAN A BELT.

BRUCE JENNER COMPLETEDHIS TRANSFORMATION

INTO THE SECOND HOTTESTKARDASHIAN SISTER...

BEHIND THAT CENTAURCOATED IN DONUT GLAZE.

WE LEARNED THE REASON KIDS SAYTHE DARNDEST THINGS IS

BECAUSE THEY ARE BEING GRILLEDBY A SEXUAL PREDATOR,

AND ESPN [bleep] MERIGHT IN THE PUSSY.

BUT THROUGHOUT IT ALL,SEASON SIX WAS

ONE OF THE TOP TEN SEASONSOF TOSH. EVER.

SO LET'S RELIVE THE GLORY DAYSIN THIS YEAR'S WEB REFLECTION.

- PLEASE PUT ONYOUR 3-D GLASSES.

- I'M A TORNADO.

I'M A TORNADO.

I'M THE TORNADO.

- HOWDY, I'M MIKE.NICE TO MEET YOU, DAN.

- CAN YOU SEE THE OUTLINEOF MY PENIS IN MY PANTS?

- YES, VERY CLEARLY.

- DANIEL, TAKE A DUMPON THAT FLOOR, WOULD YOU?

TEACH THIS ASSHOLE A LESSON.

- BOOMER IS A 48-YEAR-OLDMIXED BREED

WITH FUR MADEOF RECYCLED COPIER PAPER.

- [moaning]

[laughs]

- THIS IS THE SEASON OF BRAD.

[rock music]

IT IS GONNA FORM A SUPER STORMOF EBOL-AIDS.

THAT DONE THAT ROBOT ON TIME!

AH! NO!

FINISH THIS SENTENCE:

A WOMAN'S PLACE IS IN THE...

- KITCHEN.

- AND?- BEDROOM.

- AND?- BY THE WASHER AND DRYER.

- AND?

THEY HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOMSOMETIMES.

- OH, YEAH.

- DO YOU MISS BEING IN THE ARMY?- SOMETIMES.

ANGELA! HUDDLE UP!HUDDLE THE [bleep] UP!

- WHY DON'T THEIR PRIVATESHAVE HAIR?

ARE THESE WOMEN CHILDREN?

- EASY, BREEZY,GOOD-BYE DISEASE-Y...

SKANK TANK.

- SURPRISED YOU'RE STILL HUNGRY.

- YOU GOT TO DO EVERYTHINGAT LEAST ONCE.

- WHAT ABOUTDOUBLE PENETRATION ANAL?

- NO.

- ♪ I'M THE MAN, I'M THE MAN

♪ I'M THE MAN

- CHRIS WASA NATURAL-BORN LEADER

AND A BIG FAN OF TITTIES.

- YOU GROSS MOTHER[bleep].

YOU DISGUST ME.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.

NEXT CALLER, AND KEEP IT CLEAN,

AND DON'T SAY A WORDABOUT MY WIFE.

- NICE TITS, BITCH.

- YOU KNOW THEM?

- NOT A CLUE.- OKAY.

TURN 'EM AROUND,LET'S GET THEM PANTS DOWN

AND GET A LOOK AT THAT BROWN EYEAND GIVE HER A GOOD BLOW.

- IT'S MOTHER[bleep]NAKED FIGHT CHURCH.

- NOW OIL EACH OTHER.

THAT WAY, YOU MAKE SUREYOU GET EVEN COVERAGE.

- THIS IS MY FLOOR.

- AND THEN WHAT DO YOU DO?

- I'M AN ASPIRINGSINGER-SONGWRITER.

- [laughs]

♪ IT'S LIKE RAIN

♪ LET IT GO

♪ LET IT GO

♪ LOCATION, LOCATION

♪ LOCATION

♪ TOUCH ME

[strings twanging]

- WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH BIG EARS?

- I DON'T HAVE BIG EARS, SO I--NO, I DO NOT.

[grunting]

OH!

LOOK AT THIS CHUBBYCHICANO CHEATER.

OKAY. OKAY.

NOW WAIT TILL YOUR ALTIMETERREADS 400 FEET,

THEN DEPLOY THE CHUTE.

DEPLOY!

MY BOY IS DEAD!

ESPN LOVES KILLING KIDS--SCIENCE.

- IT'S LIKE MAGIC,BUT IT'S SCIENCE.

- [screams]

GIVE ME THE [bleep] BEANS!

- GET YOUR OWN BEANS.

- GET OFF MY TRAIN, YOU HOBO!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

I'M JUST TRYING TO BE NICE.

OOH--MOTHER[bleep].

- [yelping]

- LET THAT SINK IN FOR A SECOND.

- [coughs]

clip!

- [yelps]

- ALL RIGHT, WELL, I TOLD YOU,WE'RE NOT LIABLE.

- TONY STEWART,YOU KILLED MARIO!

LOS--

- OH![gunshot]

- MARK IT A ZERO.

AND YOU OWE ME $3.75FOR THE GAME.

BUP, BUP, BUP.

- GRA-TA-TA!

- BUP.

STOP LOOKING AT MY DICK.

WHAT THE [bleep] ARE YOUTALKING ABOUT, SCOTT HOY?

OH, NO! NO! NO! NO!

YOU THINK I WON'T GO AFTER YOU

JUST BECAUSEYOU'RE THE ONLY BLACK KID

THAT GOES TO THIS CHURCH?

- SO, EVERYBODYIN THE AUDIENCE, CLENCH.

- I'M STILL CLENCHED.

- HE WAS A TOTAL [bleep] SICKO.

- [chanting]

THERE'S ONLY ONE PIC.

I DON'T LIKE TAKING PICS.YOU KNOW THAT.

- PEEN. PEEN.

HE'S TALKING ABOUT YOUR PENIS.

- THIS IS EXACTLYWHAT I THOUGHT I'D BE DOING

AT THE AGE OF 39.

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