Redemption Reunion Spectacular - Where Are They Now? Pt. 3

Season 7 , Ep 15 05/26/2015 Views: 19,189

Phil Davison discloses how much he's spending on drugs, the chicken fries guy shares his new favorite foods, and Darrell Bluett updates Daniel on his stand-up career. (7:45)

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BURGER KING CHICKEN FRIES.

SURE ENOUGH, THEY WEREDISCONTINUED FOR 2012.

LIKE MY LIFEDOESN'T SUCK ENOUGH.

DO YOU STILL FREQUENTA BURGER KING?

UH, NO, I'VE BEEN BOYCOTTINGTHEM EVER SINCE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT,SHE WAS HUGE.

A BIG, BIG LADY.

YOU--YOU CAN'T BELIEVE IT,HOW HUGE SHE WAS.

MY FAVORITE FOODIS BEANS AND CORNBREAD.

I LOVE BEANSAND CORNBREAD.

'CAUSE I'M JUSTA COUNTRY BOY.

YOU KNOW, LOVETHAT BEANS AND CORNBREAD.

'CAUSE THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONGWITH BEANS AND CORNBREAD.

I HAVE BEEN A REPUBLICANIN TIMES GOOD,

AND I HAVE BEEN A REPUBLICANIN TIMES BAD!

DANIEL TOSH IS GONNA BE

MY PRESIDENTIALCAMPAIGN MANAGER.

WHOO!

HELL, YEAH!

I HAVE NEVER BEEN NOSTALGICBECAUSE UNLIKE EVERYONE ELSE,

I DON'T GET UGLIER AND FATTERAS I GET OLDER.

THOSE THREE FOLKSI KIND OF REMEMBER

ARE THE FEW, THE PROUD,THE REDEEMED.

I'VE BEEN REDEEMING PEOPLEPROFESSIONALLY

FOR SEVEN YEARS NOW.

15 ALL TOLD.

EVERY PERSON I REDEEM IS LIKEFAMILY TO ME,

WHICH IS WHY I AVOID THEMAS LONG AS POSSIBLE.

BUT ONCE IN A WHILE,

IT'S IMPORTANT TO MAKE SUREOUR BELOVED TOSH LEGENDS

DIDN'T DIE ALONEIN THEIR APARTMENTS

WITH CATS EATING THEIR FACES.

THAT'S WHY I FLEW PHIL, DARRELL,AND THAT CHICKEN FRIES GUY

BACK TO HOLLYWOODFOR THE THIRD ANNUAL

TOSH.OH, THAT'S WHATTHEY'RE UP TO NOW

REDEMPTION REUNION SPECTACULAR.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WELCOME TO TALKING TOSH,

THE ONLY SHOW THAT COMES ONDURING TOSH WHERE WE TALK ABOUT

WHAT TOSH IS TALKINGABOUT ON TOSH.

I AM YOUR HOST, DANIEL TOSH,FROM TOSH.0.

LET'S TALK TOSH.

I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBEROUR FIRST GUEST

FOR BEING PASSIONATE,ENTHUSIASTIC, AND WAY TOO LOUD.

PLEASE WELCOME PHIL DAVISON!

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

HOW YOU DOING, DANIEL?

- PHIL, GOOD TO SEE YOU AGAIN.- GOOD TO SEE YOU TOO.

THANKS FOR HAVING ME.

ALL RIGHT, FIRST THING'S FIRST,

SCREAM AS LOUD AS YOU CAN.

AHH!

WHAT HAVE YOUBEEN UP TO, PHIL?

JUST BEEN WORKING.

WORK IN OHIOAS A LEGAL ASSISTANT.

YOU DIDN'T BECOMESTARK COUNTY'S TREASURER.

THAT'S CORRECT.

HAS ANY COLLEGE ASKED YOUTO GIVE THE COMMENCEMENT SPEECH?

NO, THEY HAVEN'T.

THAT'S A SHAME.

I'M PISSED ABOUT IT, MAN.

HAVE YOU EVER SENT ANY PHOTOSOF YOUR PENIS TO ANYONE?

YES, I HAVE.

PHIL, YOU CAN'TBE DOING THAT.

YOU DATING ANYONE?

- YES.- NICE.

YEAH, SHE'S NOT HAPPYWITH ME.

WELL, WHY WOULD SHE BE?

EXACTLY, YOU KNOW.

HOW MUCH DO YOU SPENDON DRUGS A MONTH?

ABOUT $200.IT'S ABOUT 1/4 BAG A WEEK.

SUM UP OBAMA'S PRESIDENCYIN ONE WORD.

FAILURE.

DID YOU INVEST YOUR MONEYFROM THE SHOW WISELY?

YES, I HAVE.

I'VE PUT IT IN AN IRA FUND,

AND OVER THE LAST FOUR YEARS,

IT'S GROWN EXPONENTIALLY.

SO I'M DOING FINE.

IS THERE ANYTHINGYOU'D LIKE TO SAY

TO THE HATERS OUT THERE?

YOU KNOW WHATI'D LIKE TO TELL 'EM?

- WHAT'S THAT?- [BLEEP] ALL OF YA.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL AREYOU PEOPLE DOING?

YOU WANT RATINGS?

I'LL GIVE YOU RATINGS.

WELL, THAT'S ALL THE TIMEWE HAVE FOR PHIL.

THANK YOU FOR COMING ON.

I KNOW YOU NEED TO GET BACKTO YOUR VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER.

ALL RIGHT,LET'S TALK MORE TOSH.

NOW, ACCORDINGTO MY CALCULATIONS,

OUR NEXT GUESTIS MOMENTS AWAY

FROM DYINGOF KIDNEY FAILURE

BECAUSE HE ONLYEATS FAST FOOD.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK DAVE,THE BK-CHICKEN-FRIES GUY.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

- DAVE.- HEY.

HAVE A SEAT.NICE TO SEE YOU.

- YOU STILL DATING THAT REDHEAD?- YES.

OH.

HOW SHOCKED WERE YOUWHEN YOU FOUND OUT

BK HAD CAVEDTO OUR DEMANDS

AND BROUGHT BACKTHE CHICKEN FRY?

[CHANTING]BRING THEM BACK.

BRING THEM BACK.

I WAS ACTUALLYVERY SHOCKED,

'CAUSE I JUST THOUGHT I WASTHE ONLY ONE WHO CARED.

DAVE, I CANNOT BELIEVEYOU ARE NOT

ON YOUR KNEES RIGHT NOWSLOBBING ON MY KNOB.

YOU KNOW,I MAY BE THE LENIN

OF THE CHICKEN FRIES MOVEMENT.

YOU ARE THE TROTSKY.

DID THE CHICKEN FRIES TASTE

AS GOOD AS YOU REMEMBERED?

THEY WERE STILL SPICY.

I THINK THEY WEREA BIT SOGGIER

BECAUSE THEY CHANGED THE METHODIN WHICH THEY MAKE THEM,

BUT ASIDE FROM THAT,THEY WERE PRETTY DAMN GOOD.

HOW'S YOUR HEALTH?

I'M STILL ALIVE.

I'M PROBABLY HEALTHIER

BECAUSE I'VE BECOMESLIGHTLY LESS

OF A PICKY EATERSINCE THE SHOW.

WHAT DO YOU ENJOY NOW

THAT YOU DIDN'T HAVEA TASTE FOR BEFORE?

ON THE HEALTHY SIDE, RICE.

ON THE EXTREMELYUNHEALTHY SIDE, BACON.

TALK ABOUT RICE.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT I LIKEABOUT RICE IS THAT

I CAN ADD AS MUCH [BLEEP]SPICE TO IT AS POSSIBLE

AND IT JUST TASTESLIKE THE SPICE.

DID YOU INVEST YOUR MONEYFROM THE SHOW WISELY?

NO, IT PROBABLY JUST SATIN MY BANK ACCOUNT

UNTIL I PAID RENT.

DID WE COVERAN ENTIRE MONTH'S RENT?

YES.

THAT IS INCREDIBLE.

THAT IS INCREDIBLE.

DID YOU EVERIN A MILLION YEARS THINK

YOU DESERVEDTO BE ON TOSH.0 TWICE?

NO.

IT'S LITERALLYTHE LEAST I COULD DO.

WHO'S READY TO TALKMORE TOSH?

TOSH IS.

OUR NEXT GUEST WAS PLAYINGA LITTLE HARD TO GET,

BUT WE FINALLY CONVINCED HERTO COME BACK ON THE SHOW.

PLEASE WELCOMETHE SURPRISINGLY STRONG FANNY.

[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING]

ALL RIGHT, I'LL TAKETHE TAPE OFF,

BUT YOU HAVE TO PROMISENOT TO SCREAM.

OKAY?

ALL RIGHT.

- HELP ME! HELP--- OKAY, OKAY.

IT LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY HAS TO GOBACKSTAGE AND CALM DOWN FIRST.

OH, YOUR HAIR SMELLS SO GOOD.WHAT IS THAT?

WHAT IS THAT, A CLEMENTINE MIX,OR TANGERINE?

I'M SO BAD AT THIS GAME.

WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

OUR FINAL GUEST SAID"BEANS AND CORNBREAD"

SIX TIMES IN A ROW,

AND EVERYONE THOUGHTIT WAS HILARIOUS.

PLEASE WELCOME BACK STANDUPCOMEDIAN DARRELL BLUETT.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

DARRELL, DO YOU KNOWWHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW?

YEAH, TALKING TO YOU.

YOU LOOK AMAZING.WHAT'S YOUR SECRET?

JUST EATING BEANSAND CORNBREAD.

- THAT'S IT?- YEAH.

DO YOU EVER GET SICK AND TIREDOF SAYING "BEANS AND CORNBREAD"?

NO, I THINK IT'S GREAT,'CAUSE I LIKE THE ATTENTION.

HOW ARE THINGS GOINGIN DARRELL BLUETT'S WORLD?

OH, IT'S GOING GREAT.

EVERYBODY KNOW MEBY "BEANS AND CORNBREAD."

EVEN THE POLICE EVENIN MY HOMETOWN,

THEY SAY, "HOW YOU DOING,BEANS AND CORNBREAD?"

THE POLICE ARE NICETO YOU, THOUGH?

OH, THEY REAL NICE TO ME.

OKAY, GOOD.

WHAT DID YOU THINK OFLOUIS C.K.'S LAST SPECIAL?

I DON'T EVEN KNOWWHO LOUIS K IS.

HE'S NEW.

DO YOU EVER WATCH YOURSELFON TV?

I'VE SEEN MYSELF ONE TIME

AND I SAID,"WHO'S THAT UGLY GUY?"

- YOU TALKING ABOUT ME?- ME.

OH.

[LAUGHS]

I THOUGHT YOU WERE--

I THOUGHT YOU WERECALLING ME UGLY.

DARRELL, DO PEOPLEASK YOU IF I'M GAY?

YES, THEY DO.

YOU TELL 'EM I GOTA GIRLFRIEND, RIGHT?

I TOLD 'EM, I SAID YOU GOTPLENTY OF GIRLFRIENDS.

THANK YOU.

THEY EVEN ASK MEIF I'M GAY SOMETIMES.

OKAY.WHAT?

THAT'S--ARE YOU?

I DON'T THINK I AM.

I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU GOT A GIRLFRIENDRIGHT NOW?

I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND,BUT I'M NOT GAY.

YOU DON'T HAVETO GET UPSET WITH ME.

HOW MANY GOOD MINUTES OFSTANDUP DO YOU HAVE RIGHT NOW?

I CAN DO ABOUT 30 MINUTES.

WHAT'S THE RESPONSE BEEN?

THEY'VE BEEN LIKING IT.

THEY SAID I NEED TO WORKA LOT HARDER AND STUFF

AND COME UP WITH MOREMATERIAL AND STUFF.

I FEEL LIKE IFI GOT MY OWN IDEAS

AND I DO WHAT I SHOULD DO,

THEN I FEEL LIKEIT'LL BE MY MATERIAL

INSTEAD OF BEINGSOMEBODY ELSE,

'CAUSE IT'S A LOT OF PEOPLE

WANT TO TRY TO BELIKE SOMEBODY ELSE,

LIKE EDDIE MURPHYOR RICHARD PRYOR

OR SOMEBODY LIKE THAT,

AND I'M NOT TRYINGTO BE LIKE THEM.

YOU KNOW, I'M JUST TRYINGTO BE MYSELF.

THE MATERIAL I GOT,I EXPERIENCED IT FOR MYSELF,

YOU KNOW, AND THENI SEE THINGS MYSELF

AND I JUST USE THATAS WHAT I SEE, YOU KNOW,

NOT SOMEBODY ELSEHAVE ALREADY SEEN

AND TRYING TO WORK ONTHEY MATERIAL, YOU KNOW--

THIS IS THE LONGESTSENTENCE IN THE WORLD.

WHAT DID THEY MEXICANS SAYWHEN TWO HOUSES FELL ON 'EM?

THEY SAID, "OH!"

GET OFF ME, HOMES.

GET OFF ME--THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

HOW ABOUT WHEN THE GUYWALKED IN THE ELEVATOR

AND HE ASKED THE LADY,"HEY, CAN I SMELL YOUR FEET?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO."

AND HE GOES, "OH, IT MUSTBE YOUR PUSSY THEN."

OH.

- I AIN'T HEARD THAT ONE.- [TITTERS]

- KNOCK, KNOCK.- WHO'S THERE?

- ORANGE.- ORANGE WHO?

ORANGE YOU GLADWE HAD YOU BACK?

DARRELL BLUETT,EVERYBODY.

WELL, THAT'S ALLTHE TIME WE HAVE

FOR TONIGHT'S INSTALLMENTOF TT ON THE CC.

SO ON BEHALF OF DARRELL, FANNY,DAVE, PHIL, AND FANNY,

GOOD NIGHT, AND REMEMBER,

IF TOSH IS TALKING ABOUT IT,

WE'RE TALKING ABOUT ITON TALKIN' TOSH.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

WAVE, DARRELL.

LISTENINGTO DARRELL BLUETT SPEAK

IS ONE OF MY FEW TRUE JOYSIN LIFE.

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