CeWEBrity Profile - Bryan Silva (Gratata)

  • Season 6, Ep 618
  • 09/09/2014
  • Views: 73,950
0 comments

Vine gangsta Bryan Silva opens up to Daniel about his trouble with the law and how he established his street cred. (7:45)

- THAT FU-FU LAME [bleep],I AIN'T WITH IT.

I'LL SEND SOME SHOTSAT YOUR FITTED.

GRA-TA-TA.

SWAG, BITCH.

I'M A REAL [bleep] FOR LIFE.

RUN UP ON ME, I'MA SEND YOUTO THE SKY, [bleep].

GRA-TA-TA.

[hip-hop music]

SWAG GOD LEGEND.

TAKE YOUR BITCH IN HEREWITH THE...

GRA-TA.

YOU IS MAD?YEAH, YOU MAD.

'CAUSE I'M GOD, [bleep].

GRA-TA-TA.

- THE FLAT BRIM HATIS THE MODERN DAY DUNCE CAP.

MAYBE HE'S TRYING TO SHOOTTHAT MIRROR

BECAUSE IT'S POSSESSEDBY A PARANORMAL ENTITY

THAT MURDERED HIS PARENTS.

OCULUS?

ANYONE?

Y'ALL MOTHER[bleep] ARE WEAK.

THAT SAVAGE, T-REX, LEGEND, GOD,

IS MOTHER[bleep] BRYAN SILVA,

AND HE'S INCREDIBLY FAMOUSON VINE

BECAUSE WE LIVE IN A WORLDWHERE THAT'S A THING NOW.

SWAG, BITCH.

SWAG IS LIKE AN EXTRA BONEIN YOUR BODY.

BLACK PEOPLE ARE JUST BORNWITH THAT [bleep].

BUT BEING A G AIN'T ABOUTONE'S MOTHER[bleep] RACE.

IT'S ABOUT HOW EARLYYOUR PARENTS GAVE UP ON YOU.

YOU'VE GOT TO HATE THE PO-PO,

SLAY THOTS,

AND NEVER ADMITTO LIKING CUPCAKES,

EVEN THOUGH WE ALL KNOWTHEY'RE MOTHER[bleep] DELICIOUS.

[laughter]

THE FORMULAFOR BECOMING A SUPERSTAR

IS BEING STUPID ENOUGH TO THINKYOU'LL ACTUALLY ACHIEVE IT.

SOME OF THE DUMBEST RAPPERSMAKE IT BIG

BECAUSE THEY DON'T HAVEENOUGH COMMON SENSE

TO SECOND-GUESS THEMSELVES.

NO SHADE.

NO SHADE.

REAL MOTHER[bleep] OGs

HAVE AT LEAST THREE FORMSOF INCOME,

AND NONE OF THEMARE TAXED BY THE IRS.

JUST BE GOOD AT ONE THING,I SAY.

YOU'RE NOT A TRIPLE THREAT.

YOU'RE A MULTI-TOOL.

BRYAN REMINDS ME A LOTOF MYSELF,

JUST NOT IN THE FACE.

WE BOTH GREW UP ON THE STREETSOF FLORIDA.

3-2-1 TILL I [bleep] DIE.

[laughter]

BUT MY STREETS HAD LIGHTS

AND "SLOW, CHILDREN AT PLAY"SIGNS.

I'M NOT ALLOWED TO BE A GANGSTER

BECAUSE NOT ONLY DO I KNOWWHO MY FATHER IS;

HE E-MAILS MEINSPIRATIONAL SCRIPTURE

ON A WEEKLY BASIS.

YOU HATERS CAN SAY BRYANIS A GRA-TA-TARD,

BUT I THINK HE'S A GENIUS.

USUALLY HE AIN'T WITH ALL THATFU-FU LAME [bleep],

SO WHEN HE AGREEDTO BE ON THIS SHOW,

I WAS SHOCKED.

SO WE SNUCK HIS INVISIBLE GUNPAST TSA AND FLEW HIM HERE

FOR THIS WEEK'SCE-WEB-RITY PROFILE, BITCH.

[cheers and applause]

[birds squawking]

[dramatic hip-hop music]

BRYAN, PLAYER.

- WHAT'S UP, BRA?

- ALMOST DIDN'T RECOGNIZE YOU

WITHOUT THE BATHROOM.

[bleep] IS NICE.- KNOW, RIGHT?

SWAG, BITCH.

- [sighs]

- SOME GOOD OL' BUBBLY.

- OH, THAT'S GOOD.

NOW, THIS AIN'T NO FU-FULAME [bleep].

- SWAG, BITCH.

- SO WHO IS BRYAN SILVA?

- BRYAN SILVA IS MAINLY SOMEONEWHO CAME ABOUT

WHEN I MAINLY FIRST GOTINTRODUCED TO THE BLOCKS.

- FLORIDA'S WHERE YOU--WHERE YOU GOT YOUR STREET CRED?

- HONESTLY, I GOT MY STREET CREDIN EVERYWHERE I GO.

- OKAY.

- BUT MY MOM TOLD MEWHEN I WAS GROWING UP,

"BRYAN, SOONER OR LATER,PEOPLE WILL RESPECT YOU

FOR BEING A REAL-ASS [bleep]."

- THAT'S WHAT YOUR MOTHER SAID?

- THAT'S WHAT MY MOTHERTOLD ME.

- WHAT A SWEET WOMAN.

- REAL RECOGNIZE REAL.

WHEN ANOTHER REAL [bleep]SEES ANOTHER REAL [bleep],

YOU JUST KNOW.

- NOW, NOT A LOT OF WHITE PEOPLE

ARE ALLOWED TO USE THE N WORD.

HOW DID YOU GET YOUR BLACK CRED?

- EVER SINCEI WAS EIGHT YEARS OLD,

I'VE BEEN ALLOWED TO,LIKE, LITERALLY.

MY [bleep] WERE ON THE BLOCK.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN?WE WALKED AROUND IN THE TRAP.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

STRAPPED WITH A .38WITH ROCKS IN MY SOCKS.

- YOU GOT--YOUR NIPPLES ARE SMALL.

- I DON'T REALLY LOOKAT MY NIPPLES LIKE THAT.

- OH, I'M JUST SAYING--I'M SAYING, LIKE,

THE CIRCUMFERENCEOF YOUR AREOLAS

AREN'T VERY LARGE.

THAT'S OKAY, THOUGH.

- HONESTLY, I'M LUCKYTO MAKE IT PAST 16.

IF I DIDN'T GET LOCKED UPFOR THREE YEARS--

- WHY DID YOU GET PUT IN JUVIEIN THE FIRST PLACE?

- IT JUST ALL ADDS UP.- SURE.

- RIGHT NOW, I GOT 14 FELONIES.

- WELL, WE'RE GLADTO HAVE YOU HERE.

- ME TOO.[laughs]

- TELL ME THE STORYOF YOUR TATTOO.

- IT'S STRAIGHT GANG RELATED.

- OKAY.- ONLY GOD CAN JUDGE THAT.

'CAUSE ONCE YOU'VE BEEN THROUGH

SO MANY DIFFICULT TIMESIN YOUR LIFE

TO WHERE THE ONLY PERSON

YOU HAD TO LOOK UP TOWAS YOURSELF,

THEN YOU START LOOKINGAT YOURSELF AS A GOD.

- SO WHEN YOU SAY ONLY GODCAN JUDGE YOU--

ONLY YOU CAN JUDGE.

- EXACTLY.

- I GOT NO CODE.

THAT MEANS,"DO NOT RESUSCITATE.

JUST LET ME DIE."

- DONE.

PUT THE MAC TO YOUR HEAD,

THEN YOU GONE.

- I'M NOT AFRAID TO GO.

- GOT TO.YOU GOT TO BE T.T.G--

"TRAINED TO GO."

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,

IT'S LIKE--GRA-AT!

- HOW MANY VIDEOSHAVE YOU MADE?

- PSH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW.

IT'S BEEN COUNTLESS VIDEOS,THOUGH.

- YOU FEEL THE INTERNETHAS DISRESPECTED YOU AT ALL?

- NO, I RUNTHE [bleep] INTERNET.

WHAT MY WHOLE PLAN IS TO DOIS TO TAKE OVER EVERYTHING.

- LIKE JAY Z?

- NOT LIKE THAT.- OKAY.

- JAY Z'S A FU-FU-ASS LAME.

- OKAY.

- I'M NOT ROCKIN' WITH HIM.

- CAN I ASK THAT--

DID THE GAY PORN--

DID IT PAY WELL OR NO?

- HONESTLY,THAT [bleep] WAS LAME.

SLURPING THAT SHRUBLIKE A SLURPEE.

SWAG.

- WHAT DO YOU THINKOF THIS SEASON OF LOUIE?

ARE YOU LIKING THE SHOW AT ALLOR NO?

- THE [bleep] IS THAT?

- IT'S A TV SHOW ON FX.

- NO, I'VE NEVER SEEN IT.

- I NEED TO LEARN TO DITTY BOP,

BECAUSE I'M NOT DOING ITPROPERLY.

I MEAN, I DO A LITTLE, UH...

[dance music playing]

- WHAT YOU GOT TO DO IS,

YOU GOT TO HOLD UP YOUR FEETLIKE...

- OKAY.

DIDN'T SEE THIS COMING.

- THROW IN THE COOKING DANCE,LIKE...

- THE COOKING DANCE?

OH, SO THAT'SA LITTLE BIT OF--

FRYING--WHAT IS THAT?

- PUT IT IN THE MICROWAVE.BETTY CROCKER.

- WAS THAT--- SERVIN' TEN, BLOCK.

- YOUR MICROWAVE--

WHY'S YOUR MICROWAVE SO HIGH?

- MICROWAVE'S UP HERE.

- I DON'T LIKE THAT.

I LIKE A MICROWAVERIGHT HERE.

- I SEND SOME SHOTSAT YOUR FITTED.

GRA-TA-TA!

- HOW'D YOU COME UP WITH"GRA-TA-TA"?

- YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN,YOU GOT TO THINK ABOUT IT.

WHEN A GUN'S SPITTING,

IT'S ALL,"GRA-TA-TA, GRA-TA-TA."

- I'VE NEVER SHOT A GUN.

DON'T TELL ANYBODYIN THE STREETS THAT.

BUP, BUP, BUP!

- OR, "GRA-TA-TA!"

- BUP!

- GRA-TA-TA!

- GRA--- GRA-TA-TA.

- GRA-TA--- GRA-TA-TA.

- GRA-TA-TA.

WHAT'S YOUR SECOND FAVORITEONOMATOPOEIA?

DO YOU LIKEPOTATOES AU GRA-TA-TA?

- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE [bleep]THAT IS.

- HEY, BRYAN.

I BROUGHT YOUAND YOUR LITTLE FRIEND A SNACK.

- EXCELLENT.

YOU CAN PUT IT RIGHT THERE.

- GOD DAMN, BRYAN.

I DIDN'T KNOW YOU HAD SHRIMP.

YOU FANCY AS [bleep].

- YOU KNOW HOW I ROCK, BRO.

THAT'S SWAG, BITCH.

- THAT'S A 40-COUNT.

JUST GET A COUPLE SELFIES.

[shutter clicks]

LET'S GET ONEWHERE WE'RE FLEXIN'.

[shutter clicks]

LET ME FEEL YOUR MUSCLE.

OH, YOU'RE HARD AS A ROCK.

FEEL MINE.

- FLEX.

- IT'S NOT--IT TICKLES.

- GRA!- GRA!

- GRA!

- I LIKE THAT.

I LIKE THAT.

THIS IS ACTUALLY BEAUTIFULTO WATCH.

WELL, BRYAN, THANKS FORINVITING ME ON THE YACHTATA.

I KNOW YOU ONLY RENTED ITFOR AN HOUR,

AND YOU'VE ALLOTTED 40 MINUTESFOR VINES AND SELFIES,

SO I'M GONNA GET GOING.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BUDDY.

- THANKS FOR COMING OUTTO THE YACHTATA.

- OH, THANK YOU.COME ON.

- NO ONE IS GOING ANYWHERE!

- OH, [bleep]!SOMALI PIRATES!

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOINGIN MARINA DEL REY?

- I'M THE CAPTAIN NOW.

- OH.

- I'LL TAKE CAREOF THESE FU-FU LAMES.

[dramatic music]

GRA-TA-TA.

[echoing]GRA-TA-TA.

GRA-TA-TA, GRA-TA-TA,GRA-TA-TA!

- [scoffs and laughs]

- THAT WAS SO VIOLENT.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO KILL HIM.

YOU COULD'VE JUST FAKEHOSED 'EM OFF OR SOMETHING.

- I HAD TO GET RIDOF THE FU-FU LAMES.

- OH, WE ARE INA LOT OF TROUBLE.

GIVE ME YOUR GUN.- NO.

WHAT YOU DOING WITH MY BURNER?

- I'M WIPING YOUR PRINTS OFF.

- HEY, WHERE THE [bleep]YOU GOING, MAN?

- I'M LEAVING.THIS IS SCARY.

- YOU GOT TO PAY FOR MY BURNER,BRO.

- WHEN YOU POINTAN INVISIBLE GUN AT SOMEONE,

YOU POINT THREE INVISIBLE GUNSRIGHT BACK AT YOURSELF.

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