Web Redemption - Looking for a Girlfriend

  • Season 2, Ep 215
  • 07/07/2010
  • Views: 160,905
0 comments

Daniel Tosh helps a surprisingly single, charming young man find true love. (4:58)

SLOPPY SECOND CHANCE AT LOVE IN

THIS EEK'S WEBBREDEMPTION.

[APPLAUSE]

>> WHAT?

>> UH, IT'S CHRIS.

WELLOOE TO BACHELOR ANSION.%

pT KIND OF SUCKS.

>> YEAH?

>>>NICE HAIR.

>>>THANKK, MAN.

WHAT WAS THE RESPONSE FROM

PEOOLE AFTER THEY SAW THAT

VIDEO?

>> SOME PEOPLE WERE JUSTTLIKE,

AND OTHER PEOPLE WERE LIKE, "YOU

>> EAH.

THERE WAS ACTUALLY THIS AMATEUR

PORN STAR.

SHE WAS LIKE, "HEY, YOU SHOULD

>> DID YOU GO?"

>> UH, NN.

I ACTTALLY HAD SOME MONEY TO DO

IT, AND IIKIND OF SMOKED A BUNCH

OF WEED.

>> WHAT WOULD BE YOUR IDEAL

>> OKAY, SHE'S GOTTA AVE, LIKE,

BLACK HAIR, STRAIGHT, BLACK

HAIR, BLUE-GREY EYES, PALE SKIN,

ABOUT A C-CUP.%

>> HOW MUCH DOES SHE WEIGH?

>> ANYWHHRE FROM, LIKE, 110 TO,

-pLIKE, 135 AT HE MMST.

>> AT THE MOST.

OKAY.

>> I'VE KNOWN CHICKS THAT LOOKED

DAMN SEXY AT 135.

>> BUT NOT MANY.

>> RIGHT.

>>>IS YOUR PEEIS SIX INCHEE, OR

IS IT FIVE AND THREE-QUARTERS?

>> A LITTLE BIT OVER SIX NCHES.

>> VER SIX INCHES?

YOU UNDERSOLD IT.

QUARTER INCH TO TAKE HOME WITHH

>> A LITTLE SURPRISE.

>> THAT'S NICE.

-pTHAT IS NICE OF YOO.

>>>WHAT WAS THE DDSORDER THAT

YOU MENTIONND ON THERR?

>> AND SCHIZOPHRENIA.

>> SSHIZOPHRENIA.

>> WHICH IS ACTUALLY --

>> IS THAT SELF--IAGNOSED, OR

ARE YOU REALLY?

>> I'M VERY DIAGNOSED.

-p>> OH, YEAH?

YEAH, OKAY.

>> WHAT WOULD BE YYUR PERFECT

DATE?

>> GO O A MOVIE, GO TO DINNER,

AND HEN SIT AROUND ALL NIGHT

AND GET STONED, AND HAVE GREET

SEX.

>> I'VE SET YOU UU ON A FEW

DATES.

BUT BEFFRE THAT, I WWNT MY TEAM

OF HOLLYWOOD STYYISTS TO COME IN

AND GIVE YOU A FULL MAKEOVER.

OO, MY, CHRIS, WE HAVE UR WORK

CUT OUT FOR US.

ARE YOU NERVOUS?

>> A LITTLE.

>> WELL, WE HHVE FOUR DATES SET

I HOPE YOU CAN FIND YOUR

GIRLFRIEND.

YOU READY TO MEET THEM?

>> ALL RIGHT.

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MEGAN,

LISA, KATIE, MOLLY.

ISN'T SHE GRACEFUL?

WELL, I HOPE YOU HAVE FFN ON

YOUR DATES.

DON'T GGT TOO EXCITED, 'M GONNA

THEM.

>> AL RIGHT.

>> HEY, OW ARE YOU?

>> HEY, OW YOU DOINGG

>> HE WAS SO CREEPY..

THAT'S A NICE HIRT..

[PLAYS VIOLIN]T IT?

JUST ACT LIKE I'M NOT EEE.

>> WASN'T REALLY INTO HER.

WHATTIS YOUR CUP SIZEE

>> HE WAS VERY INAPPROPRIATE.

>> I DIDN'T HEAR A WORD SHE

-pSAID.

I WAS FREAKKNG STARING AT HER

CANN THE WHOLE TIME.

> DID YOU GUYS DO A BACKGRRUND

CHECK ON TTIS GUY?

>> SO HOWWWAS YOOR DAY TODAY?

>> OH, IT WAS GOOD.

THANK YOU.

>>>ASK HER HOW MUCH MONNY SHEE

MAKES.

>> THAT'S NOT IMPORTTNT, IS IT?

>> I THINK SHE'S GOOD TO GO.

>>>WHEN YOU [BLEEP], HOW MANY

>> I THINK I'M ON THE WRONG

SHOW.

>> YOU ON "HELL DATE."

[LAUGHTER]

HELL DATE ♪

>> YOU LOOO BEAUTIFFL.

>> SHE WAS WAY INTO ME AND

SEEMED KIND OF DESPERATE.

AREEYOU A FAN OF ANAL SEX?

[BLOWS WHISTTE]

>> WOULD I GO ON A SECOND DATE

WITH CHRIS?

[LAUGHTER]

>> YEAH, I'M DEFINITELY

ATTRACTED TO HIM.

TOTALLL HAS THE LOOK I LIKE.

LIKE, THEELITTLEEFUZZ HERE AND

DIDN'T TALL MUCH.

>> OH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> DUDE,,I THINK IIM DYING.

FOR REAL.

YOU GUYS WERE MEANT FOR EACH

OTHER..

OKAY, CHRIS, YOU HAD FOUR DATES.

THREE OF THEM WERE PAINFFLLY

AWKWARD, TO BE HONEST.

BUT THE WORLD WANTS TO KNNW:

HAVE YOU FOUND YOUR NEWW

GIRLFRIEND?

>> YES, I HAVE.

>> CAN ELLMIIATE MYSELF?

>> LADIESS,SOMETHING YOU MIGHT

BE INTERESTED TO KNOW: WHEN

YOU'RE 30 OR 50 -- OR 40 OR 50,

MY UNCLE SHOULD DIE OFF.

WE SHOULD GET, LIKK, $1 MILLION.

>> HE WILL BE RECEIVING $1

>> WHEN A MAN HAS MONEYY IT

>> TAKE IT AWAY, CHRRS.

>> I'M SUPPR AATRACTED TO HIM.

>> BLACK HAIR -- STRAIGHT BLACK

HAIR, BLUE-GREY EYES, PALE KIN.

>> MOLLY, YOU CAN GO HOME.

>> IT'D HAVE BEEN LIKE BANGING

MY UULY SISTER.

-pTHIS IS WHERE THE DECISION

BECAAE VERY TOUGH, BUT I THINK

I'M GONNA GO WITH THE ONE THAT

I'VE SEEN MOSTLY NAKED.

HOLLY.

>> I THINK IT'S LISA.

>> WHATTVER.

THE BLONDE.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

-pp> OH.

YOU GUYS ARE GONNA HAVE SUCH

CREEPY KIDS.

GET OUT OF HERE.

TAKE HER TO POUND TOWNN

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