April 2, 2013 - Plus-Size Model

  • 04/02/2013

Daniel breaks down spring break brain freeze, and a plus-size model gets a Web Redemption.

ISN'T SCARED OF NORTH KOREA'SLONG-RANGE MISSILES.

OKAY, THAT'S A BOWL.

THOSE ARE CHOPSTICKS.

SOME JEAN CAPRIS.

I PRAY THAT'S NOTYOUR MOM'S GOOD BAMBOO.

WHEN HE CHOPSTICKS UPA SCHOOL,

NOBODY CAN SAY THERE WEREN'TWARNING SIGNS.

IT WASN'T ENOUGH TO EATYOUR DOG,

YOU GOTTA RUIN HIS BOWL TOO?

[laughter]

THAT'S PRETTY RESOURCEFUL,

BUT WHAT DO I DO WITH A DRAWERFULL OF SOY SAUCE PACKETS?

I TRIED TO THROW A STICKTHROUGH A WALL IN OUR OFFICE.

[laughter]

[audience ohs]

ROUGH DAYFOR STUPID OLD JOE.

DON'T FEEL TOO BAD.

HE'S A RACIST AND HE OWNSA REAL SLAVE BELL.

[music playing]

♪ ♪

YOU'VE GOTTA MAKE SURETHE BATHING SUIT

LOOKS GOOD FROM EVERY ANGLE.

[audience ohs]

I'M HAVING A FOUNTAINLIKE THAT

INSTALLEDIN FRONT OF MY HOUSE.

AH, IT MUST BE REALLY BADIF EVEN SHE WON'T EAT IT.

[laughter]

EASY.

THE KEY TO BEING THAT FLEXIBLEIS TO START EARLY.

[laughter]

[baby passing gas]

- AND THAT'S HOWYOU PUSH THE POO OUT.

- YOU CAN FORCE SOMEONETO POO?

I WONDERIF THAT REALLY WORKS.

[grunts]

IT DOES.IT DOES.

YOU HAVE TO BE PREPAREDTO TIP HIM AT LEAST $2.00.

HE DIDN'T PAINT HIMSELF SILVERAND PUT ON A COWBOY OUTFIT

JUST TO BE TREATEDLIKE SOME KIND OF IDIOT.

THAT PURPLE SHIRTWITH A WHITE COLLAR

WAS REASON ENOUGHFOR A KNUCKLE SANDWICH.

THAT IS AMATEUR HOUR.

WE TORTURE OUR HANDSOMESECURITY GUARD EVERY DAY

AND HE NEVER SNAPS.

HEY, LET ME HANDLE THIS.

WAIT A SECOND.

THERE WASN'T A DICKAT THE END OF AIRPLANE.

THAT'S THE BEST PARTOF HAVING TEENAGE FANS,

IS THEY DON'T KNOWTHAT WE'RE JUST

RIPPING OFF MOVIESFROM THE '80s.

THIS IS A BRAIN FREEZECOMPETITION.

WE CALL ITA BRAIN FREEZE COMPETITION

'CAUSE THIS WILL MESSWITH YOUR BRAIN.

YOU HAVE TO DOWN THISTHE QUICKEST,

USING THE STRAW ONLY,ALL RIGHT?

AND WHOEVER DOWNS THISTHE QUICKEST IS GOING TO--

OR THE FASTEST,I GUESS I SHOULD SAY--

PROPER ENGLISH--YOU'REGONNA GET AN EXPRESS PASS.

THAT'S A $50 VALUE.

- AN EXPRESS PASS?OOH!

YOU DIDN'T TELL ME

THIS WAS THE HIGH-ROLLERBRAIN FREEZE CONTEST.

WHAT'S THE WORST DECISIONYOU CAN MAKE ON SPRING BREAK?

IF YOU SAID,"HEAD TO WATER MANIA,"

YOU'RE GONNA LOVETHIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

[cheers and applause]

WATER PARKSAREN'T ABOUT COMPETITION.

THEY'RE WHEREPEOPLE OF ALL AGES GO

TO ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWEACH OTHER'S URINE.

THIS SLUSHEE SUCK-OFF

FEELS JUST DEPRESSING ENOUGHTO BE IN FLORIDA.

THE PSYCHO WITHTHE BRASS KNUCKLES TATTOO

SEEMS LIKETHE CLEAR FAVORITE,

BUT THE SMART MONEY'SON THE MIDF

IN THE HIDEOUSBROWN SWIMSUIT.

THAT'S MIDF--MAID I DON'TWANT TO FUCK.

WHAT'S THE BLONDEDOING THERE?

YOUR BODY ISYOUR EXPRESS PASS,

AND IT'S GOODUNTIL YOUR ASS FALLS.

YOU'D THINK A GIRL WITHA BELLY BUTTON RING

WOULD BE BETTER AT SUCKING.

MAYBE TRY GETTINGON YOUR KNEES?

I'M GUESSING THE DJ SLIPPEDA ROOFIE INTO THE WRONG CUP.

[laughter]

[audience ohs]

A STROKE ISSTAGE 4 BRAIN FREEZE.

EVERYONE ELSE, PLEASE KEEPDRINKING YOUR SLURPEE

AS IF NO ONE HAS DIED.

JUST SHOVE HERDOWN THE LOG FLUME.

SHE WOULD HAVE WANTED ITTHAT WAY.

- OH!- OH, MY GOD!

- OH, MY GOODNESS!- SHIT!

- UH...- PARAMEDICS!

- OH, SHIT!

- CAN WE GET PARAMEDICS, PLEASE?IF YOU PLEASE.

PARAMEDICS,WE NEED YOU, PLEASE.

- YEAH, SEND SOME PARAMEDICSTO THE DJ BOOTH

BECAUSE HE'S ABOUT TO MURDERTHIS TRACK!

ALSO MAYBE SENDSOMEONE FROM LEGAL.

WONDER WHATSHE'LL NAME THIS PLACE

WHEN IT'S AWARDED TO HERIN THE LAWSUIT?

I ASSUME SHE'LL BE GETTING CPRFROM TWO DUDES AT ONCE.

[laughs]SPRING BREAK.

I'M JUST GLAD THE GIRLIN THE BIKINI IS OKAY,

AND FOR THAT,WE THANK YOU.

- TOSH WANTS TO KNOW

IF I THINK A WOMAN SHOULD TRIMTHEIR PUBIC HAIR.

MY HUSBAND THAT DIED,GOD REST HIS SOUL,

THAT PERVERTED S.O.B.,

HE WANTED ME TO SHAVE MINEINTO A SHAPE OF A HEART,

AND I REFUSED TO DO IT.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE

BECAUSE IT'S TIME FORA BRAND NEW SEGMENT

CALLED "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

THAT'S WHERE SOMEBODYASKS YOU THE QUESTION,

"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

- MY NAME--OH, LET METELL YOU MY NAME.

UH, I'M CONFUSED BECAUSE,UH, YOU KNOW, LIKE,

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVEIN THE MINISTRY, RIGHT?

SO IS THE CHURCH AND STATESUPPOSED TO BE SEPARATE?

I'M CONFUSED, 'CAUSE I NEVERWENT TO SCHOOL. RIGHT?

IS A CONFUSED PERSONGET A RESOLUTION?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU SEE, WHEN YOU GO LIKE THAT,RIGHT, YOU HAVE A CROSS.

TWO STICKS, RIGHT?

AND THAT'S HOW I FELTWHEN I WAS IN WATERLOO.

'CAUSE WHEN I WALKED IN WATERLOOAND SMILED AT PEOPLE,

THEY TREATED MELIKE A VAMPIRE.

THEY USED THE CROSS,AND THEY WENT LIKE THIS

BY NOT SMILING AT ME.

IN TORONTO--HEY, HI, GUYS.

YOU KNOW ME, STEVE SPIROS,EASYGOING.

THOSE WHO KNOW ME,I'M A NOBODY.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

AND YOU CAN'TKILL A PERSON WITH NO BODY.

SO, WHY AM I AFRAID?I'M NOT AFRAID.

I'M AFRAID OF THE BOOGEYMAN.

WHO'S THE BOOGEYMAN?YOU FIGURE IT OUT.

I'M GETTING OUT OF HERE.

I'M GOING BACK TO WATERLOO,WHERE THE VAMPIRES HANG OUT,

AND I'M GONNA WEARMY SUNGLASSES AT NIGHT.

YOU KNOW WHY?

BECAUSEWOMEN SHOW THEIR TITS,

HAVE SHORT SKIRTS,

AND THEN THEY FEEL VIOLATEDWHEN I LOOK AT THEM.

WHY? 'CAUSE I HAVESUNGLASSES ON AND I'M WEIRD.

UH, I'M FROM HUMBERSIDE.

I'M SORRY IF IMADE A FOOL OF HUMBERSIDE,

BUT ALL THOSE PEOPLEWHO CALLED ME A SLEEPWALKER,

I WOKE UP.

NOW I'M GOING BACK TO SLEEP

'CAUSE I'M GONNA BECOMMITTED IN AN ISOLATION ROOM

BECAUSE I'M GOING TO GOBACK TO THE MINISTRY

AND ALLOW THEM TOPERCEIVE ME AS I AM.

A FUCK-UP.

GOOD-BYE!

- AND THAT WAS"WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

I BLAME CANADA'SSOCIALIZED MEDICINE.

I MEAN, HE'S MAKINGA WHOLE LOT OF SENSE.

A CROSS IS TWO STICKS.

WOMEN DO WEAR SHORT SKIRTS.

AND YOU CAN'T KILL A PERSONWITH NO BODY.

NOW WHAT KIND OF SHOWWAS HE BEING INTERVIEWED FOR?

YOU FIGURE IT OUT.

I'LL TELL YOU.

IT WAS A SHOW ABOUT FASHION.

OBVIOUSLY.

BUT IF YOU THOUGHTTHAT WAS ALL HE HAD TO SAY,

CLEARLY YOU HAVE NEVER BEENASKED, "WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

- LOOK AT THIS SQUARE.

IT WAS A SHITHOLEWHEN I WORKED HERE.

NOW IT LOOKSLIKE NEW YORK, MANHATTAN.

WHERE ARE THE BUMS?

THERE'S NO BUMS HERE.

TORONTO DOESN'T HAVE BUMS.

BUT WATERLOO,THEY'RE CREATING BUMS.

THEY CREATED ME.WHY?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE IT'S THE CHURCH.

TALK TO THE POPE.HE KNOWS EVERYTHING.

I HAD IT.I'M GONNA DIE.

HOW CAN YOU DIEWHEN YOU'RE DEAD?

OH, WAIT A SECOND.

I'M GONNA BE CRUCIFIED,RIGHT?

I'M NOT GONNA RAISEMY VOICE.

- WHAT A LOOSE CANNON!

THOSE AREN'T SNAPS.

HIS SHIRT DOESN'T CLOSEANYMORE.

[music playing]

[laughter]

- EVERYONE KNOWS A JUMBO JETNEEDS A LONGER RUNWAY.

THAT FIERCE, FINE-ASS FEMALEIS JASMINE,

AND SHE PROVES THATALL WOMEN ARE BEAUTIFUL,

BUT NONE OF THEMARE COORDINATED.

PLUS-SIZED MODELS AREJUST LIKE OTHER MODELS.

ONLY,INSTEAD OF USING COCAINE,

THEY USE PORK--THE OTHER WHITE TREAT.

SUPERMODELS ARE DISGUSTING.

TALL, FLAT-CHESTED,BONY ALIENS

WITH GROSSEASTERN EUROPEAN ACCENTS?

[laughs]NO THANKS.

CARL'S JR. SHOULD ONLY PUTVOLUPTUOUS WOMEN ON THEIR ADS.

NOT GIRLS WHO CAN'T WAIT TO WORKA FINGER DOWN THEIR THROAT

AFTER ONE BITE OF AJIM BEAM BOURBON BURGER.

KNOW YOUR CUSTOMERS.

LIKE HPV, THANK YOU NOTES,PINTEREST, AND RYAN GOSLING,

BODY IMAGE IS SOMETHINGONLY FEMALES THINK ABOUT.

IN FACT, HALF OF ALL AMERICANWOMEN OUTSIDE OF WISCONSIN

ARE ON A DIET.

THERE'S SO MUCH PRESSUREON GIRLS TO BE THIN,

AND MOST OF IT COMESFROM THIS SHOW.

LARGER LADIES DO HAVE MORECUSHION FOR THE PUSHIN',

BUT YOU SHOULD NEVERSHOVE A WOMAN,

NO MATTER HOW STURDY SHE IS.

I LOVE BIG GALS.

IT'S THE SAFEST SEXTHERE IS,

BECAUSE 98% OF THE TIME,I'M JUST ROOT-DEEP IN A FOLD.

HEAVY CHICKSLOVE POINTING OUT

THAT MARILYN MONROEWAS A SIZE 12.

YEAH, BUT SHE WAS ALSO A HUGESLUT WHO BLEW THE PRESIDENT.

THAT SORT OF BEHAVIOR TENDSTO GO A LONG WAY WITH US FELLAS.

OF COURSE, THE SEXIEST THINGA GIRL CAN DO

IS NOT COMPLAINABOUT HER BODY.

PLUS-SIZED, AVERAGE,SKINNY--

IT DOESN'T MATTER AS LONG ASYOU'RE SUPER YOUNG.

SO WHAT IF JASMINE HASA LITTLE WEEBLE IN HER WOBBLE.

IT SHOULDN'T KILLHER MODELING DREAMS.

THAT'S WHY I DIALED1-900-MIX-A LOT

AND BROUGHT HER TO HOLLYWOODFOR THIS WEEK'S WEB REDEMPTION.

[applause]

OKAY, WHO'S NEXT?

HAVE A SEAT.

ALL RIGHT.GET OUT.

YOU JUST FAILEDTHE CHAIR TEST.

NONE OF MY LADIES WOULD RISK

SITTING IN THATFLIMSY LAWN FURNITURE.

GO. AND GRAB A P'ZOLOON YOUR WAY OUT.

- THE WHOLE THING?- YES, THE WHOLE THING.

JUDITH,WHERE IS MY 10:00?

- HI, I'M JASMINE.I THINK I'M YOUR 10.

- YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE.

LET ME TAKE YOU IN.

YOU ARE FABULOUS.HAVE A SEAT.

WHERE YOU FROM, JASMINE?

- INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.

- HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEENIN THE MODELING BUSINESS?

- FOR ABOUT THREE YEARS.

- HOW DIFFERENT

IS PLUS-SIZED MODELINGFROM STANDARD SKINNY MODELING?

- WE GET TO EAT.

- THEY GET TO EAT TOO. THEY JUSTHAVE TO QUICKLY GET RID OF IT.

- YEAH, EXACTLY.

- DO TRADITIONAL MODELS

RESPECT PLUS-SIZED MODELS?

- THE ONES I KNOW DO.

- BECAUSE THEY'RE SCAREDOF YOU GUYS?

- NO, NOT 'CAUSETHEY'RE SCARED OF US.

- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITETYPE OF MODELING TO DO?

- I WOULD SAY RUNWAY.

- ARE YOU GOODAT RUNWAY MODELING?

- SOMETIMES.

- WALK ME THROUGH WHAT HAPPENEDIN THE VIDEO.

- I WAS WORKIN' IT.

MY SIX-INCH HEELSGOT CAUGHT ON THE CARPET,

MY KNEE GAVE OUT,I FELL, TRIED TO RECOVER.

IT MADE ME FALL SOME MORE.

- WHEN YOU WERE FALLING,

WHAT WAS GOING THROUGHYOUR MIND?

- OH, SHIT.MY CAREER'S OVER.

- WAS THAT A FLUKE OR HAS THATHAPPENED IN THE PAST?

- ONE OTHER TIME,AND I SLIPPED ON ALCOHOL.

- YOU WERE DRINKING?- NO.

THE PEOPLE IN THE CLUBWERE DRINKING,

AND THEY POURED LIQUORON THE RUNWAY.

- WERE THEY SPRAYING CHAMPAGNEON THE MODEL BITCHES?

- I THINK THEY WERE TRYING TO.- THAT IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL.

- I THINK SO.

- WHAT'S THE ONE THINGYOU WON'T MODEL?

- COMPLETELY NUDE.

- YOU WILL NOT DOCOMPLETE NUDITY?

- I'LL DO IMPLIED NUDITY,BUT NOT COMPLETE NUDITY.

- WITH PROPS?- YEP.

- DO YOU EAT HEALTHY?- I TRY TO.

- WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITETHING TO EAT?

- UM, BAKED SPAGHETTI.

- BAKED SPAGHETTI?- MM-HMM.

- DO YOU EXERCISE?- SOMETIMES.

- KNOCK THAT OFF.- [laughs]

- STAY IN THE BUSINESSLONGER.

- [laughs]

- WHAT'S THE SKINNIEST MANYOU'VE EVER DATED?

>> UM, 6'4", 200 POUNDS.- YEAH, THAT'S NOT SKINNY.

- TO ME, THAT'S SKINNY.- THAT'S DWYANE WADE.

- HE'S SKINNY.

[laughter]

- DO YOU LIKE THIS SHOW?- I DO NOW.

- WHEN DID YOUHATE THIS SHOW?

- WHEN I THOUGHT ALL YOU DIDWAS MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE.

- I KINDA DO THAT.

SOME PEOPLE JUST DO REALLY,REALLY STUPID THINGS.

- THAT IS TRUE.

- YOU JUST HAD AN ACCIDENT.- RIGHT.

- THAT HAPPENED TO BEFUNNY TO WATCH.

- [laughs]WELL, I'M GLAD IT WAS FUNNY.

- OH! I WOULD HAVE LAUGHEDIF I WAS THERE...

UNLESS I WAS THE PERSONTHAT YOU FELL INTO.

- I DIDN'T REALLYFALL INTO HIM.

HE KIND OF JUST CAUGHT ME.

- WAS HE CONSIDEREDTHE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD?

- [laughs]- HERE'S THE DEAL.

YOU'RE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFULBUT YOU ARE CRAZY CLUMSY,

AND THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE YOUSHOULD BE FOCUSED ON PRINT WORK,

NOT RUNWAY.- OKAY.

- I'VE SET UPA BEAUTIFUL SPREAD

THAT WILL BE TASTEFULYET EXTREMELY PORNOGRAPHIC,

A CALENDAR SHOOT FEATURING YOUALL 12 MONTHS.

ARE YOU EXCITED?- YEAH, I CAN BE.

- OKAY, THEN DROP DOWNAND GET YOUR EAGLE ON.

- HEY.

- WE NEED TO SHOW THE WORLD

YOU CAN MODELWITHOUT TAKE A SPILL.

- THIS SEEMSUNNECESSARILY RISKY.

- THAT'S THE BEAUTYOF PRINT WORK, HONEY.

YOU JUST HAVE TO POSE LONGENOUGH FOR ME TO GET THE SHOT.

[phone ringtone]

HOLD ON,I'M GETTING A PHONE CALL.

HELLO?

[laughter]

MAYBE.

I GOTTA GO.[kisses]

TELEMARKETER.

- BLACK PEOPLEDON'T ICE SKATE.

- YOU'RE PROBABLYJUST LIGHTHEADED.

SOMEONE PLEASEBRING JASMINE A MEAL.

I SAID A MEAL!

I'M GONNA HAVE TO SWITCH TOPANORAMIC FOR THIS ONE.

OH...[camera shutter clicks]

SO PERFECT.

HELP ME, HELP ME,BLACK PAMELA ANDERSON!

I'M GONNA NEED SOMEASS-TO-MOUTH RESUSCITATION.

OKAY, JASMINE, ARE YOU READYTO SEE THE SEXIEST CALENDAR

IN THE HISTORY OF

TOSH.OH SHITTHAT'S A BIG HOT WOMAN!

PLUS SIZE MODELING AGENCY?

- I AM.

THAT SEEMS BIG.

- OKAY, WE WENT WITHTHE DESK CALENDAR.

JUST SEEMED TOMAKE MORE SENSE.

AND YOU HAVEA SIGNING TODAY

AT THE BIG AND TALLCALENDAR KIOSK.

- IS THAT NEXT TOTHE REGULAR CALENDAR KIOSK?

- I DON'T KNOW.CHECK THE DIRECTORY.

I THINK YOU'LL LIKETHE PHOTOS I PICKED OUT.

- I BETTER.

AND FINALLY, I WENT TO PRESIDENTOBAMA'S WEBSITE

AT WHITEHOUSE.GOV, WHERE ANYONECAN FILE A PETITION

TO GET IMPORTANT NEW LAWSON THE BOOKS.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS GETA MEASLY 100,000 SIGNATURES,

AND THE PRESIDENT IS REQUIREDTO ISSUE AN OFFICIAL RESPONSE.

UH-OH.

SOMEONE DOESN'T REALIZE WHATA STRONG ONLINE PRESENCE I HAVE.

HERE ARE MY PROPOSALS TOGET THIS COUNTRY BACK ON TRACK.

SHOW YOUR SUPPORT BY LOGGING ONAND ADDING YOUR SIGNATURE.

FIRST UP, I WANT TO...

[laughter]

ONE BORING, COLD STATE.

AND $10s AND $50s.

AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT,

GET RID OFBUTTERSCOTCH HARD CANDIES.

THIS COUNTRYDOESN'T NEED IT.

THERE'S TOO MUCH SHITIN OUR POCKETS.

ALL RIGHT.

[laughter and applause]

I'D LIKE TO...

AND STOP MAILING OUT ALL THOSESTUPID BIG BLUE COUPONS

EVERY OTHER WEEK.

IF EVERYONE'S GETTING THEM,NO ONE FEELS SPECIAL.

[laughter]

AND YOU'RE KILLINGTHE ENVIRONMENT.

THAT'SA VERY HEAVY CARDSTOCK.

AND MY FINAL PROPOSAL.

[cheers and applause]

FEEL FREE TO SIGN ALL OF THEM

OR JUST THE ONESTHAT HIT YOU CLOSE TO HOME.

>> WHERE IS MY 10:00?

>> HI, I'M JASMINE.

I THINK I'M YOUR TEN.

>> [gasps]

YOU MOST CERTAINLY ARE.

LET ME TAKE YOU IN.

YOU ARE FABULOUS.

HAVE A SEAT.

>> THANK YOU.

>> WHERE ARE YOU FROM, JASMINE?

>> INDIANAPOLIS, INDIANA.

>> HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN

IN THE MODELING BUSINESS?

>> FOR ABOUT THREE YEARS.

>> HOW DIFFERENT IS PLUS-SIZE

MODELING FROM

STANDARD SKINNY MODELING?

>> WE GET TO EAT.

[laughs]

>> THEY GET TO EAT TOO.

THEY JUST HAVE TO QUICKLY

GET RID OF IT.

>> YEAH, EXACTLY.

NO, WE GET TO EAT

AND LET IT STAY.

>> NICE.

HAVE YOU ALWAYS WANTED

TO BE A MODEL?

>> ALWAYS.

>> DO TRADITIONAL MODELS

RESPECT PLUS-SIZE MODELS?

>> THE ONES I KNOW DO.

>> BECAUSE THEY'RE SCARED

OF YOU GUYS?

>> NO, NOT 'CAUSE

THEY'RE SCARED OF US.

'CAUSE WE PUT IN JUST AS MUCH

WORK AS THEY DO.

>> WELL, EXCEPT FOR THE PART

WHERE YOU STARVE YOURSELF.

>> [laughs]

>> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE TYPE

OF MODELING TO DO?

>> I WOULD SAY RUNWAY.

>> ARE YOU GOOD

AT RUNWAY MODELING?

>> SOMETIMES.

>> WALK ME THROUGH

WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT VIDEO.

>> I WAS WORKING IT

THE WAY I USUALLY DO,

MY SIGNATURE.

MY 6-INCH HEELS GOT CAUGHT

ON THE CARPET.

MY KNEE GAVE OUT.

I FELL, TRIED TO RECOVER.

IT MADE ME FALL SOME MORE.

>> WHEN YOU WERE FALLING,

WHAT WAS GOING

THROUGH YOUR MIND?

>> OH, SHIT, MY CAREER'S OVER.

[laughs]

>> WAS THAT A FLUKE,

OR HAS THAT HAPPENED

IN THE PAST?

>> ONE OTHER TIME,

AND I SLIPPED ON ALCOHOL.

>> YOU WERE DRINKING?

>> NO, THE PEOPLE IN THE CLUB

WERE DRINKING, AND THEY POURED

LIQUOR ON THE RUNWAY.

>> WERE THEY SPRAYING CHAMPAGNE

ON THE MODEL BITCHES?

>> I THINK THEY WERE TRYING TO.

>> OH, THAT'S A MESS.

THAT IS VERY DISRESPECTFUL.

>> I THINK SO.

>> WHAT'S THE NEXT GENRE

OF MODELING PAST PLUS-SIZE?

>> I HOPE THERE'S

NOTHING BIGGER.

>> NO?

>> [laughs]

>> DOESN'T THAT SEEM LIKE

THAT'S KIND OF A FORM

OF DISCRIMINATION AS WELL?

>> WELL, NO.

THOSE GIRLS FALL INTO PLUS-SIZE.

THEY ARE PLUS-SIZE.

>> WHAT'S THE ONE THING

YOU WON'T MODEL?

>> PROBABLY COMPLETELY NUDE.

>> YOU WILL NOT DO

COMPLETE NUDITY.

>> I'LL DO IMPLIED NUDITY

BUT NOT COMPLETE NUDITY.

>> WITH PROPS?

>> YEP.

>> DO YOU EAT HEALTHY?

>> I TRY TO.

>> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE

THING TO EAT?

>> UM...

BAKED SPAGHETTI.

>> BAKED SPAGHETTI?

>> MM-HMM.

>> DO YOU EXERCISE?

>> SOMETIMES.

>> KNOCK THAT OFF.

>> [chuckles]

>> STAY IN THE BUSINESS LONGER.

>> [laughs]

>> WHAT'S THE SKINNIEST MAN

YOU'VE EVER DATED?

>> UM, 6'4", 200 POUNDS.

>> YEAH, THAT'S NOT SKINNY.

>> TO ME, THAT'S SKINNY.

>> THAT'S DWAYNE WADE.

>> HE'S SKINNY.

[both laugh]

>> DO YOU LIKE THIS SHOW?

>> I DO NOW.

>> WHEN DID YOU HATE THIS SHOW?

>> WHEN I THOUGHT ALL YOU DID

WAS MAKE FUN OF PEOPLE.

>> I KIND OF DO THAT.

SOME PEOPLE JUST DO REALLY,

REALLY STUPID THINGS.

>> THAT IS TRUE.

>> YOU JUST HAD AN ACCIDENT...

>> RIGHT.

>> THAT HAPPENED TO BE

FUNNY TO WATCH.

>> [laughs]

WELL, I'M GLAD IT WAS FUNNY.

>> OH.

I WOULD'VE LAUGHED

IF I WAS THERE,

UNLESS I WAS THE PERSON

THAT YOU FELL INTO.

>> WELL, I DIDN'T REALLY

FALL INTO HIM.

HE KIND OF JUST CAUGHT ME.

>> WAS HE CONSIDERED

THE STRONGEST MAN IN THE WORLD?

>> [laughs]

NO.

>> HERE'S THE DEAL:

YOU'RE EXTREMELY BEAUTIFUL,

BUT YOU ARE CRAZY CLUMSY.

AND THAT'S OKAY,

BECAUSE YOU SHOULD BE FOCUSED

ON PRINT WORK, NOT RUNWAY.

LEAVE THAT TO THOSE

GANGLY BITCHES.

>> [laughs]

>> ALL RIGHT?

>> OKAY.

>> I HAVE SET UP

A BEAUTIFUL SPREAD

THAT WILL BE TASTEFUL

YET EXTREMELY PORNOGRAPHIC,

A CALENDAR SHOOT

FEATURING YOU

ALL 12 MONTHS.

ARE YOU EXCITED?

>> YEAH, I CAN BE.

>> OKAY, THEN DROP DOWN

AND GET YOUR EAGLE ON.

>> HEY.

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