October 25, 2011 - Worst Magician Ever

  • 10/25/2011

The Worst Magician Ever gets a Web Redemption, and Daniel shares the grossest videos for Halloween.

>> Daniel: PEOPLE ALWAYS ASK I

DIDN'T STOP SHOWING GROSS VIDEOS

ON THE SHOW?

WELL, SINCE HALLOWEEN IS COMING

UP I'M MAKING AN EXCEPTION AND

TREATING YOU TO THE SICKEST

VIDEOS WE CAN LOWELLLY AIR.

LET'S EASE YOU INTO SOMETHING

MODERATELY DISTURBING.

>>

>> KHAN HAS TWO HEADS.

>> Daniel: HIS TWO HEADS AREN'T

AS BIG OF PEYTON MANNING'S ONE.

NOTHING A RETAINER CAN'T FIX.

HIS FLOSSING ROUTINE IS A

NIGHTMARE.

YOU SHOULD HEAR HIS KARAOKE OF

"I GOT YOU BABE."

THAT WASN'T TOO BAD.

LET'S GET A LITTLE GROSSER.

THIS GUY WAS SO STUFFED UP HE

HAD TO HIRE A DOCTORS TO PICK

HIS NOSE.

(OOO! )

>> Daniel: THAT COULD FEED AN

ENTIRE VILLAGE OF 5-YEAR-OLDS.

>> Daniel: I HOPE THE DOCTOR HAS

A GIANT DESK HE WAS WIPE THAT

UNDER.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS IN HIS

NOSE BUT I REALLY DON'T KNOW

WHAT IS COMING OUT OF THIS GUY'S

CHEST.

>> OH [BEEP]

[BEEP]

(OOH! ).

>> Daniel: HE'S NATURE'S

GROSSEST SOFT SERVE MACHINE.

WHATEVER THAT IS I THINK IT'S

SPOILED.

IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S GRAPE

FLAVORED.

SOMEONE GRAB AN ENGLISH MUFFIN.

IS THAT BLACK CRUDE?

DRILL BABY, DRILL.

THAT WAS DISGUSTING.

BUT IT WAS NOT DISGUSTING

ENOUGH.

THIS IS HALLOWEEN.

>> Daniel: OH, THAT'S TOE UP.

(OOH! )

>> Daniel: OKAY DOCTOR SCHOLLS

MIGHT NOT BE A REAL DOCTOR.

IT'S EASIER TO PAINT YOUR

TOENAIL AFTER YOU RIP IT OFF.

MAKE SURE YOU SAUFB THAT FOR THE

TOENAIL FAIRY?

HAS ANYONE VOMITED YET.

NO?

MAYBE THIS WILL DO IT.

(OOH!)

>> Daniel: THE EYES TO THE

WINDOW OF THE SOUL.

>> Daniel: AND SHE'S STAY THAT

WAY UNTIL THE CURSE OF DAVEY

JONES IS LIFTED.

RELAX SHE MIGHT BE A TERMINATOR.

I KNOW THAT WAS HORRIFYING BUT

IT PAILS IN COMPARISON TO WHAT

YOU'RE ABOUT TO SEE.

NO!

CHRISTINA AGUILERA, OH!

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> Daniel: GOOD LUCK STUFFING

THE OTHER WEEK WE SHOWED YOU A

PRANK PIE SLASH, NUT TAP, BITCH

SLAP.

IT HAS TAKEN ON A LIFE OF IT'S

OWN.

WE HAVE A WARNING.

JUST SO YOU KNOW IF YOU IGNORE

THAT WARNING WE WILL NOT PUT YOU

ON TV.

(YELLING )

>> NUT TAP, NUT TAP

>> OH!

>> NUT TAP, BITCH SLAP

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

TIGHT SHIFT.

THE KEY TO BEING A GOOD REPORTER

IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED BY

LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT IS

HAPPENING.

[LAUGHING]

>> Daniel: NO WONDER NOBODY IS

WATCHING OPRAH'S NEW NETWORK.

THE REAL STORY IS THE RED HOT

CHILI PEPPERS CAN'T SELL TICKETS

ANYMORE.

>> Daniel: NOTHING IT LOUDER

THAN HER TEAL PANTSUIT.

IT'S NOT THAT WEIRD.

THE KNEV NEWS TEAM SIN SANE IN

SANTIAGO.

>> NEWS.

>> SPORTS, COMMENTARY.

>> WEATHER.

>> MURDER.

>> AIDS,.

>> PARKING.

>> WORDS,.

>> POLITICS.

>> DEBATE.

>> BANTER.

>> HARD HITTER.

>> DEVELOPMENT.

>> GOOD NIGHT.

>> PUNDANTS.

>> COMMERCIALS.

>> Daniel: THAT STATION LEANS A

LITTLE TOO FAR TO THE LEFT FOR

MY TASTE.

[LAUGHING]

>> Daniel: EITHER THOSE HOMELESS

WINDOW WASHERS ARE GET TOO LONG

AGGRESSIVE OR HE HAS A VERY

DISTRACTING HOOD ORNAMENT.

NOW LET'S GO TO JAPAN WHERE

EVERY DAY IS A GAME SHOW OF YOUR

LIFE.

HE'S GOING THE WRONG WAY DOWN A

RUN WAY?

HOW CAN PEOPLE SO GOOD AT

BUILDING CARDS BE BAD AT DRIVING

THEM.

ASIANS SHOULD BE REQUIRED TO USE

THEIR HAZARDS AT ALL TIMES.

YOU MIGHT WANT TO USE YOUR

WIPERS THERE IS A MANIAC WITH A

BAT ON YOUR WINDSHIELD.

RELAX.

LET'S COMELY EXCHANGE INSURANCE

INFORMATION AND WAIT FOR THE

ROBOT POLICE TO A REEVE.

THE ONE THING ABOUT THE BAT IS

ONE HUNDRED PERCENT OF SUSPECTS

GET AWAY IN JAPAN.

LET ME GUESS 5'6", BLACK HAIR,

BLACK BELT.

WHERE IS HE?

HE'S PROBABLY LATE WITH

SOMEONE'S DELIVERY.

OF COURSE THE PERSON WHO GOT SIT

A PREGNANT LADY.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY LOVED HER

LONG TIME.

I HOPE THE BABY IS OKAY BECAUSE

THE ONE THING JAPAN NEEDS IS

MORE PEOPLE.

I'M GLAD REAR VIEW CAMERAS ARE

>> THE GREAT MOODINI.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

>> HERE WE GO.

THREE, TWO, ONE ...

>> OH!

>> OH, HE'S DOWN.

>> Daniel: I THINK HE FORGOT TO

SAY HOCUS POCUS.

HE'S LUCKY MOST PEOPLE WHO GET

DRAGGED BEHIND CARS IN THE SOUGT

DON'T LIVE TO TELL THE TALE.

THAT WAS THE GREAT MOODINI.

HIS ESCAPE SENT HIM TO THE ICU.

YOU DON'T HEAR ME CALLING MYSELF

DANIEL THE HANDSOME AND

HILARIOUS.

I PREFER MY LOOKS TO SPEAK FOR

THEMSELVES.

MAGIC IS COMPLETELY IRRELEVANT.

I CAN'T MAKE IT HALF WAY THROUGH

THE PRESTIGE SO GOING TO A MAGIC

SHOW IS UNCOMPREHENSIBLE.

IF YOUR SEXY A SIS STAPBLT IS

TRULY SEXY SHE WOULDN'T HANG OUT

WITH A MA GISHIAN.

ARE YOU THAT IMPRESSED BY CHRIS

ANGEL LEVITATING?

I TELL YOU HOW HE DOESN'T DO IT,

MAGIC.

IF MAGIC WAS REAL DAVID BLAINE

WOULD OF USED IT TO STAY FAMOUS.

I TRICKED MOODINI LIKE

COPPERFIELD TO JOIN ME AT MY

PRIVATE RAPE ISLAND FOR WEB CAM

REDEMPTION.

>> OH THIS THING, PLEASE.

>> WHOO!

>> SO THERE IS A TRICK INVOLVED.

YOU DON'T JUST PANIC AND

STRUGGLE.

>> I WASN'T A FAN BEFORE BUT I

MIGHT BE TURNING AROUND ON THE

LEATHER PANTS THING.

>> Daniel: MICHAEL, YOUR STAYING

NAME IS THE GREAT MOODINI.

>> IT JUST STUCK WITH ME.

>> Daniel: HOW LONG HAVE YOU

DONE PROFESSIONAL MAGIC?

>> 15 YEARS.

>> Daniel: WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE

TRICK.

>> SHOWING BOTH HANDS EMPTY AND

SNAPPING MY FINGERS AND HAVING A

SCARF.

>> Daniel: AND HOW QUICK CAN YOU

MAKE A HAMBURGER DISAPPEAR?

>> I SCREW IT UP PRETTY QUICK.

>> Daniel: CAN YOU DO TRICKS FOR

ME NOW?

>> I DID ONE.

>> Daniel: TELL ME WHERE THAT

WAS.

>> A SPEEDWAY IN ATLANTA, GAGA.

>> Daniel: HOW MANY PEOPLE.

>> 5000.

>> Daniel: WHAT HAPPENED

STPHUFRPBLGTS I HAD A HUNDRED

FOOT CHAIN.

I TOOK OFF, I NOW I WAS IN

TROUBLE.

I GOT THE RIGHT SIDE AND MY LEFT

SIDE RIPPED OFF MY WRIST.

>> Daniel: THAT WAS NOT PART OF

THE TRICK AT ALL?

>> NO.

>> Daniel: IF YOU DIDN'T GET OUT

WOULD IT OF DRAGGED YOU AROUND

THE TRACK.

>> YA, IT WOULD OF KILLED ME.

>> Daniel: DID YOU BLACK OUT

WHEN IT HAPPENED?

>> YA.

>> Daniel: DID YOU TAKE A

HELICOPTER RIDE STPEUFRPBLGTS

NO.

THERE WAS A AMBULANCE.

>> Daniel: PROBABLY COULD OF

GOTTEN TO THE AMBULANCE FASTER

IF YOU JUMPED IN THE CAR AND

TOLD THEM TO KEEP GOING.

THE CARTWHOLE.

>> MY BEST ONE.

>> Daniel: WHOSE FAULT

STPHUFRPBLGT MY FAULT.

I SHOULD OF GOTTEN CLOSER TO THE

CAR.

I WAS HOT AND TIRED.

I WANTED TO GET MY PAY CHECK AND

GO.

>> Daniel: I HAVE BEEN.

THERE DID THE DRIVER APOLOGIZE?

>> HE WAS IN TEARS.

>> Daniel: IT WASN'T A WOMAN

DRIVER?

>> I'M ALIVE AREN'T I?

>> Daniel: TOOSHA.

>> WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE.

>> DAVID COPPERFIELD.

>> Daniel: DAVID COPPERFIELD,

DAVID BLAINE.

>> DAVID COPPERFIELD.

>> Daniel: JUST ALL OF THEM.

>> OPEN THE SALT MORE ME.

>> Daniel: OKAY.

>> MY HAND IS EMPTY.

I WILL TAKE A LITTLE SALT AND

POUR IT HERE.

>> Daniel: I WATCHED IT GO.

IN.

>> LET THE ACCESS GO OFF.

I WILL POUR IT INTO YOUR HAND.

NOW IT'S GONE.

THE SALT HAS VANISHED.

I WILL WAVE MY HAND A WHYS AND

POOR IT NO YOUR HAND.

>> Daniel: WHAT DO I DO WITH THE

SALT?

I HAVE A CHOLESTEROL PROBLEM.

>> Daniel: HAVE YOU DONE THE

TRICK SINCE THEN.

>> NOT SINCE THE ACCIDENT.

>> Daniel: YOU HAVE THOUGHT

ABOUT IT?

>> I WOULD LIKE TO GO BEFORE THE

SAME AUDIENCE.

>> Daniel: DO YOU THINK THEY

LEFT BELIEVING IT COULDN'T BE

DONE.

>> I THINK THEY HAD MIXED

EMOTIONS.

HE'S AN IDIOT OR --

>> Daniel: I WATCHED SOMEONE

DIE.

>> A LOST THEM DIDN'T KNOW I WAS

ALIVE UNTIL IT WAS ON THE NEWS.

>> Daniel: LET'S GET OUT OF HERE

AND GET READY FOR TONIGHT'S BIG

SHOEPLT.

>> LET'S DO IT.

>> Daniel: WELCOME TELLER, HE'S

HERE FOR ADVICE.

[LAUGHING]

[BEEP]

>> Daniel: THAT WAS HELPFUL.

I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT

MAGIC OTHER THAN IT'S NOT REAL.

I DO SNOW SOMETHING ABOUT

SHOWMANSHIP.

>> Daniel: SUPPOSE TO HIT THE

[BEEP] BUTTON WHEN I --

>> Daniel: THIS IS YOUR NEW

LOOK.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF MY FAT ASS

WILL FIT IN THAT.

>> Daniel: YOUR FAT ASS IS GOING

TO FIT IN THAT.

WE HAVE AN AUDIENCE WAITING FOR

YOU.

>> Daniel: LADIES AND GENTLEMEN

[BEEP] OF ALL AGES PREPARED TO

BE AMAZED.

I GIVE YOU THE GREAT MOODINI.

>> Daniel: LOOK GREAT, WORKING

OUT I SEE.

THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW ARE YOU

READY TO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT.

>> HELL YA.

>> Daniel: WE HAVE A FEW

MODIFICATIONS IN CASE YOU SCREW

UP AGAIN.

DON'T WORRY IF YOU DON'T BREAK

FRO I'M SURE THE BUMPER WILL

TEAR OFF THIS THING.

ALRIGHT.

>> THE GREAT MOODINI.

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> TADA!

[ APPLAUSE ]

>> I WASN'T A FAN BEFORE, BUT I

MIGHT BE TURNING AROUND ON THIS

LEATHER PANTS THING.

MICHAEL, YOUR STAGE NAME IS THE

GREAT MOODINI.

HOW'D YOU COME UP WITH THAT?

>> ONE OF THE TRACK OFFICIALS

ANNOUNCED ME AS THE GREAT

MOODINI.

IT JUST KIND OF STUCK WITH ME

THROUGH THE RACE FANS AND STUFF.

>> HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DOING

PROFESSIONAL MAGIC?

>> PROBABLY ABOUT 15 YEARS.

>> REALLY?

>> DO A LOT OF CORPORATE STUFF,

A LOT OF CHILDREN'S BIRTHDAY

PARTIES, A LOT OF SCHOOLS,

SPEAKING AT COLLEGES AND DOING

SOME MAGIC AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

>> WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE MAGIC

TRICK?

>> SHOWING BOTH HANDS EMPTY,

AND THEN JUST SNAPPING A FINGER

AND MAYBE JUST PULLING OUT

A SCARF OR SOMETHING, YOU KNOW.

>> DAMN IT, YOU DEVIL MAN.

>> THIS IS PROBABLY MY FAVORITE.

I CARRY IT AROUND IN MY POCKET

ALL THE TIME.

>> HOW FAST CAN YOU MAKE

A HAMBURGER DISAPPEAR?

>> OH, I'D--I'D SCREW IT UP.

I'D SCREW IT UP PRETTY QUICK.

>> CAN YOU DO SOME TRICKS FOR ME

NOW?

>> YEAH.

I JUST DID ONE.

>> TELL ME WHERE THAT WAS.

>> IT WAS AT A SPEEDWAY OVER IN

ATLANTA, GEORGIA.

HOW MANY PEOPLE WERE THERE,

WATCHING THAT?

>> 5,000.

>> AND WHAT YEAR WAS THAT?

>> IT WAS THIS YEAR.

IT WAS THREE MONTHS AGO.

>> THIS MIGHT BE OUR WORLD

RECORD FOR FASTEST REDEMPTION.

>> WOW.

MAKING HISTORY TODAY.

>> USUALLY WE ALLOW PEOPLE TO

SUFFER FOR A FEW YEARS.

>> [laughs]

>> TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED THAT

DAY.

>> I HAD A 100-FOOT CHAIN.

EVERYTHING WAS JUST SET TO GO,

AND WHEN IT TOOK OFF, I REALIZED

I WAS TOO FAR.

I KNEW I WAS IN TROUBLE.

I GOT THE RIGHT SIDE OUT,

AND THE LEFT SIDE JUST KIND OF

TOOK MY WRIST AND JUST RIPPED IT

OFF.

>> SO THAT WAS NOT PART OF THE

TRICK AT ALL.

>> NO, THAT WASN'T PART OF

THE TRICK.

>> IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN

OUT OF THAT, WOULD'VE THAT THING

JUST DRAGGED YOU AROUND THE

TRACK A FEW TIMES?

>> IF IT HADN'T HAVE RIPPED MY

WRIST APART AND RELEASED ITSELF,

YEAH, IT WOULD'VE KILLED ME.

>> DID YOU BLACK OUT WHEN IT

HAPPENED?

>> I BLACKED OUT WHEN IT

HAPPENED, YEAH.

>> YOU TAKE A HELICOPTER RIDE,

OR NO?

>> NO, THEY HAD AN AMBULANCE

RIGHT THERE.

>> PROBABLY COULD'VE GOT TO THE

HOSPITAL FASTER IF YOU JUST

JUMPED IN THE CAR.

>> THERE YOU GO.

>> AND JUST TOLD HIM, "KEEP

GOING," WITH YOUR GOOD HAND.

>> OH, YEAH.

YEAH.

>> IS THAT THE ONLY CARTWHEEL

YOU'VE EVER DONE?

>> THAT WAS THE BEST ONE AND THE

ONLY ONE I'VE EVER DONE.

>> WAS THAT THE FINALE, OR WAS

THERE A RACE AFTER THAT?

>> I WAS THE HALF-TIME

HIGHLIGHT.

>> THEY HAVE HALF-TIME AT RACES?

>> YEAH, THEY TAKE A LITTLE

BREAK, AND THEY--

>> WHAT KIND OF HORSE SHIT IS

THIS?

I'VE NEVER HEARD OF A RACE

STOPPING.

>> MAYBE THEY HAVE TO GAS THE

CARS OR CHANGE THE TIRES.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

>> SORRY ABOUT THAT LITTLE

MIX-UP DURING HALF-TIME WHERE WE

SHOWED ALL OF YOU A GUY DIE.

>> YEAH, THAT WAS--THAT'S

PROBABLY IT.

>> WHOSE FAULT WAS THAT?

>> IT WAS MY FAULT.

YOU KNOW, I SHOULD'VE TOOK MORE

TIME AND GOT CLOSER TO THE CAR,

BUT I WAS IN A HURRY.

I WAS HOT AND TIRED, READY TO

GET THE HELL OUT OF THERE,

GET MY PAYCHECK AND GO,

YOU KNOW?

>> I'VE BEEN THERE.

DID THE DRIVER APOLOGIZE?

>> OH, HE WAS--HE WAS IN TEARS.

>> SO IT WASN'T A WOMAN DRIVER.

>> I'M ALIVE, AIN'T I?

>> TOUCHE.

>> HOW LONG DID YOU HAVE TO

REACT BEFORE IT--

>> I HAD MAYBE FOUR SECONDS THIS

TIME, AND IT WAS JUST TOO FAST.

>> DO YOU THINK YOU'D HAVE HAD

MORE TIME IF JEFF GORDON WAS

DRIVING?

>> JEFF GORDON WOULD'VE KILLED

ME PROBABLY.

>> HAVE YOU EVER HAD A HOT

ASSISTANT?

>> I'VE HAD TWO OR THREE.

>> YOU BANG 'EM?

>> NO, I DIDN'T BANG 'EM.

>> IS THAT FROWNED UPON?

>> THEIR BOYFRIENDS MIGHT NOT

HAVE UNDERSTOOD OR SOMETHING.

>> THEY UNDERSTAND.

>> [laughs]

OH, MAN YOU'LL GET ME KILLED.

>> WERE YOU SURPRISED HOW

POPULAR THAT CLIP GOT ONLINE,

OR DID YOU KNOW THAT WAS GONNA

BE A HIT?

>> I DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT.

>> DO YOU KNOW WHO PUT IT ON

YOUTUBE?

>> HAVE NO IDEA.

>> ARE YOU MAKING ANY MONEY OFF

OF IT?

>> NO, I'M NOT MAKING ANY MONEY

OFF OF IT.

>> HOW'S MAGICIAN'S HEALTH

INSURANCE?

>> NOT VERY GOOD.

>> YOU GUYS NEED TO UNIONIZE.

WHAT KIND OF THINGS DO PEOPLE

WRITE ON THE YOUTUBE?

>> SOME OF THE COMMENTS ARE REAL

NICE, YOU KNOW, "HOPE YOU'RE

GETTING BETTER."

THEN SOME OF THEM ARE LIKE,

"YOU FAT DUMBASS," AND, YOU

KNOW, "YOU'RE THE WORST MAGICIAN

I'VE EVER SEEN."

>> THERE'S A FINE LINE BETWEEN

THE WORST AND THE GREATEST AS

FAR AS I'M CONCERNED.

>> YEAH, OH, YEAH. OH, YEAH.

>> WHEN YOU MEET WOMEN, DO YOU

EVER SAY, "THIS IS WHERE THE

MAGIC HAPPENS?"

>> [laughs]

MAYBE BACK IN MY YOUNGER DAYS

WHEN I WAS, YOU KNOW, 100 POUNDS

THINNER.

>> DID YOU GROW UP WANTING TO BE

A MAGICIAN?

>> NO, I SAW MY FIRST MAGIC

TRICK FROM A MAGICIAN OUT OF

CALIFORNIA--OUT OF FRESNO,

CALIFORNIA, JOE BURRUS,

AND WENT ON YOUTUBE A WHILE

BACK, AND I WAS SHOCKED TO SEE

THAT HE DID THIS BURIED ALIVE

TRICK, AND ENDED UP DYING.

>> HE DIED FROM THE TRICK?

>> YEAH.

>> AND THAT WAS YOUR

INSPIRATION?

>> THAT WAS THE GUY THAT SHOWED

ME MY FIRST MAGIC TRICK.

>> IN FAIRNESS, BEING BURIED

ALIVE IS BETTER THAN LIVING IN

FRESNO.

>> [laughs]

>> DOES THE GREAT MOODINI HAVE A

DAY JOB?

>> THE PAST THREE MONTHS,

I HAVEN'T WORKED.

I'VE BEEN DRAWING, LIKE, A SMALL

DISABILITY.

I'LL BE SELLING CARS AS A NEW

CAR SALESMAN PRETTY SOON.

>> IF YOU DID A COMMERCIAL,

YOU COULD SAY, "YOU BETTER HELP

ME GET THESE CARS OFF THE LOT

BEFORE I HURT MYSELF."

>> [laughs]

THAT'D BE GOOD.

>> WHO ARE YOUR FAVORITE

MAGICIANS?

>> MY FAVORITE ALL-TIME IS

DAVID COPPERFIELD.

>> DO YOU HAVE A RAPE ISLAND?

>> A RAPE ISLAND?

>> I THINK HE OWNS ONE.

>> WELL, ON DAVID'S BEHALF...

>> UH-HUH.

>> HE WAS INNOCENT.

>> OKAY.

>> I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY

IT COST HIM TO BE INNOCENT,

BUT HE WAS INNOCENT.

>> SURE.

FUCK, MARRY, KILL.

SIEGFRIED AND ROY,

DAVID COPPERFIELD, DAVID BLAINE.

>> DAVID COPPERFIELD.

>> JUST ALL OF 'EM?

>> OPEN UP THE SALT FOR ME.

>> OKAY.

>> AND I'LL SHOW MY HANDS EMPTY,

AND I'LL TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF

SALT, AND I'LL POUR IT RIGHT

HERE.

>> I'M WATCHING IT GO IN.

>> GET THE EXCESS OFF, AND WHAT

I'LL DO IS POUR IT INTO YOUR

HAND.

>> OKAY.

>> LIKE THIS.

IT'S TOTALLY GONE.

THE SALT HAS VANISHED.

NOW, WHAT I'LL DO IS, I'LL WAVE

MY HAND ACROSS, AND THEN I'LL

POUR IT ACTUALLY INTO YOUR HAND,

YOU KNOW, LIKE THAT.

>> WHAT DO I DO WITH ALL THIS

SALT?

I HAVE A CHOLESTEROL PROBLEM

ANYWAY.

>> WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE ANOTHER

ONE?

>> YES.

>> I'VE GOT A CIGARETTE IN MY

HAND

>> OKAY.

>> YOU GOT A LIGHT?

>> OH, WOW.

SHOW BOTH HANDS EMPTY.

TAKE IT, PUT IT RIGHT HERE IN

YOUR HAND, JUST LIKE THIS.

TAKE ONE FINGER AND PUSH IT ALL

THE WAY IN LIKE THIS, SMASH IT

ALL THE WAY IN, AND THEN YOUR

FINAL MOVE IS TAKING IT AND

SQUEEZING IT AND MAKING IT

VANISH.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT MY FAVORITE

PART OF THAT TRICK IS?

>> WHAT?

>> HOW YOUR NAIL HEALS.

>> GOOD, GOOD, YOUR GOOD.

>> WHAT WOULD IT TAKE FOR YOU TO

GIVE UP MAGIC ALTOGETHER?

>> A WINNING $1 MILLION

LOTTERY TICKET.

THEN I THINK I'D RETIRE AND,

YOU KNOW, GO TO THE BEACH

SOMEWHERE.

>> HAVE YOU DONE THE TRICK SINCE

THEN?

>> NOT SINCE THE ACCIDENT.

>> HAVE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT DOING

IT SINCE THEN?

>> I'D LIKE TO GO BACK BEFORE

THAT SAME AUDIENCE AND REDO IT

AND SHOW 'EM THAT IT CAN BE

DONE.

>> DO YOU THINK THEY LEFT THAT

DAY BELIEVING IT COULD NOT BE

DONE?

>> I THINK THEY LEFT THAT DAY

WITH MIXED EMOTIONS, LIKE,

"HE'S AN IDIOT," OR--

>> OR, "WE JUST WATCHED SOMEBODY

DIE."

>> A LOT OF THEM DIDN'T KNOW

THAT I WAS ALIVE UNTIL THE NEXT

DAY THAT CAME ON THE NEWS.

>> ALL RIGHT, MICHAEL, LET'S GET

OUT OF HERE AND GET READY

FOR TONIGHT'S BIG SHOW.

>> LET'S DO IT.

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