June 16, 2010 - "What What (In the Butt)" Remix

  • 06/16/2010

"What What (In the Butt)" gets the first ever Web Remix, and Daniel visits the "I Like" Girl.

I CAN'T TELL, BUT I THINK HIS

RELEASE WAS OFF.

CALL THIS VIDEO, TWO BALLS AND

ONE STONE.

>> ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

>> NUT SHOT PUTT.

>> IF YOU SPEND YOUR SATURDAY

FILMING A SPORT THAT NOBODY

CARES ABOUT, YOU DESERVE TO BE

HIT IN THE BALL BAG.

[LAUGHTER]

>> HELLO, DARKNESS.

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> IN MY BUTT ♪♪

>> ♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪ I WILL GIVE YOU WHAT YOU

NEED ♪♪

>> ♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪ GIVE IT TO ME ♪

>> ♪♪

>> WHAT, WHAT ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> IN THE BUTT ♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

>> ♪♪

>> I HAVEN'T HEARD A SONG THAT

GAY SEN JUSTIN BEING BER'S LAST

SINGLE.

SAMWELL IS RIGHT, AMERICA ASK

OBSESSED WITH ASS, WHEN A GIRL

WALKS IN WITH AN ITTY-BITTY

WAIST, AND A ROUND THING IN YOUR

FACE, YOU GET SPRUNG, THE HINNY

IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF

THE HUMAN BODY.

YOU CAN SIT ON IT, SPANK IT, AND

KICK IT AND POOP OUT OF IT.

AND EVEN MAKE LOVE TO IT.

>> GO GREEN, GIRLS.

>> JUST DINGLEBERRIES, AND THE

STENCH.

YOU CAN'T COVER THAT UP WITH

VANILLA SCENTED CANDLE.

TURD CUTTERS COME, IN ALL SIZE

HE, DO I LIKE A LITTLE JUNK IN

THE TRUNK?

YOU BET YOUR SWEET ASS.

IF I HAD TO PICK MY TOP-THREE,

BA-DONK-A-DONKS, BONNIE HUNT.

AND AL PA PACINO AGREES WITH ME.

AND, NUMBER 1, RAFAEL NADAL.

I'M NOT GOING TO STAND UP HERE,

AND PRETEND HE DOESN'T HAVE

AMAZING GLUTES, AND WATCH HIM

SLIDE, ON THE CLAY.

>> THE PASSION FOR BEAUTY REALLY

SPOKE TO ME.

HE'S LIKE THE CISCO OF OUR

GENERATION.

[LAUGHTER]

>> THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT HIM TO

THE ASS CAPITAL, AND SNUCK HIM

TO THE BACKDOOR FOR THE

FIRST-EVER REMIX.

[CHEERS]

.

>> "WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT" IS

THE MOST POPULAR SONG, BUT I

WANTED TO GO BEHIND THE INTERNET

MUSIC AND FIND OUT MORE ABOUT

SAMWELL.

SO, I MET UP WITH HIM.

[LAUGHTER]

>> OUR LIVES ARE VERY SIMILAR, I

WAS BORN A BLACK GAY MAN.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SAY

THIS, BUT, IT WAS A [BLEEP] AND

ALWAYS SOMETHING THAT I TO KEEP,

UNDER WRAPS.

>> THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A

SINGER.

>> YEAH.

THAT'S IT.

>> I'M A FLIGHT-ATTENDANT.

GO FIGURE.

>> WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GAY

FLIGHT ATTENDANTS?

>> WHAT IS YOUR FASCINATION WITH

THE BUTT.

>> I THINK IT'S ONE OF THE BEST

ATTRIBUTES, ON THE BODY.

>> YOU HAVE STRONG LIPS.

>> THAT'S WHEN I REALIZED THAT

SAMWELL HAD FALLEN IN LOVE WITH

ME, AND I NEEDED TO KEEP IT

PROFESSIONAL.

>> HOW DID I KEEP UP WITH THE

SONG, "WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT"?

>> WELL, THEY WOULD ALWAYS TALK

ABOUT MY BUTT.

AND GRAB IT OR SMACK IT.

>> WOULD THEY FLIP IT OR RUB IT

DOWN?

>> OH, NO.

>> THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT IT.

AND I SAID, "WHAT WHAT IN THE

BUTT," AND I WAS SINGING A SONG,

AND HE SAID WHAT IS THAT SONG?

AND WE WERE IN HIS STUDIO.

20 MINUTES, THERE WAS THE SONG.

>> 20 MINUTES.

THAT'S ALL IT TOOK.

>> YOU'RE LIKE JAY-Z.

>> WHEN THE MAGIC HITS YOU.

>> WHAT'S THE MESSAGE OF THE

SONG?

>> JUST TO DO IT, IN THE BUTT.

>> IT HAPPENED TO TURNOUT, SOME

PEOPLE INTERPRET IT AS A GAY

SOCK.

I'M GAY.

AND I TALK ABOUT DOING IT IN THE

BUTT.

>> HEAVEN FORBID.

>> NO MATTER, HOW YOU INTERPRET

THE VIDEO.

"WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT" IS A

MASTERPIECE.

>> RIGHT UP THERE WITH THRILLER.

>> IN A MONTH IT BECAME POPULAR.

>> WHAT'S SOME OF THE NEGATIVE

FEEDBACK?

>> TYPICALLY, WHAT YOU WOULD

EXPECT, I -- DIE, GAY GUY.

>> YOU STARTED OUT STRONG.

>> DIE, GAY, DIE.

>> NAME SOME OF THE THINGS THAT

HAPPENED BECAUSE OF THAT SONG.

> I GOT TO TO GO TO ENGLAND, AND

BE INTERVIEWED WITH LILLY.

AND SOUTH PARK, ASKED TO USE MY

SONG.

>> SAMWELL, WAS A HOLLYWOOD

A-LISTER.

>> I MET JOHNNY, WHEN HE WAS

FILMING PUBLIC ENEMIES.

>> AND THEN HE HIT ROCK-BOTTOM.

>> IN THE LATE 1990S, WHEN YOU

WERE DRUNK -- WITH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> DID YOU EVER ASK YOURSELF,

WHO IS IN BY BUTT?

>> NOT THAT DRAMATIC.

>> I THINK IT WAS.

>> IT WAS WHEN HIS DEFENSES WERE

DOWN, I DECIDED TO ASK THE

IMPORTANT QUESTIONS.

>> ARE YOU A TOP OR BOTTOM?

DO YOU ENCOURAGE EVERYONE TO

TRY?

DO YOU WAX?

>> CAN YOU TRUST A FARTHER.

>> WOULD YOU EVER BLEACH YOUR

AIN US IN.

>> NO.

>> WHAT DO YOU THINKING OF MY

BUTT.

>> JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHT HE

COULD NOT GET ANY BRIGHTER, HE

PARTNERED UP WITH JOSH, FROM

QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE FOR A

ONE-TIME ONLY, OF "WHAT WHAT IN

THE BUTT," LIVE, ON THE "TOSH"

STAGE.

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> IN MY BUTT.

♪♪

>> ♪♪ LET'S DO IN THE BUTT.

>> OKAY.

>> "WHAT WHAT IN THE BUTT," IS

NOT ONLY, A REAL QUESTION, BUT,

IT NEEDS AN ANSWER.

[LAUGHTER]

>> AND THE ANSWER IS, LET'S DO

IT, IN THE BUTT, OKAY.

>> ♪♪

>> ♪♪ IT'S OKAY.

IF YOU HAVE A LITTLE ♪♪

>> DON'T YOU WORRY ♪♪

>> ♪♪ I WON'T BITE, NOT THAT

PART ♪♪

>> IF YOU WANT, I WILL GIVE YOU

POWER ♪♪

>> ♪♪ JUST BE DIFFICULT,

DELICATE ♪♪

>> ♪♪ WHAT, WHAT IN THE BUTT?

♪♪

>> IN THE BUTT ♪♪

>> ♪♪

>> IN THE BUTT ♪♪

>> ♪♪ YOU WANT TO DO IT IN MY

BUTT ♪♪

>> ♪♪ IN YOUR BUTT ♪

>> ♪♪ IN OUR BUTT, LET'S DO IT

IN THE BUTT.

>> OKAY ♪♪

>> ♪♪

[LAUGHTER]

[CHEERS]

.

>> THANK YOU.

THERE WAS YOUR ANSWER, TOMMY

LEE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> GO TO OUR BLOG TO HEAR THE

ENTIRE PERFORMANCE.

NOT SINCE NIRVANA, HAVE I WANTED

THE LEAD SINGER TO KILL HIMSELF

MORE.

[LAUGHTER]

I LIKE MY SCHOOL.

I LIKE MY DAD.

I LIKE MY COUSINS, AND I LIKE MY

AUNTS.

AND I LIKE MY MOM.

AND I LIKE MY HAIRCUT.

I LIKE MY STUFF.

I LIKE MY NOSE.

I LIKE MY WHOLE HOUSE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> MY WHOLE HOUSE.

I CAN DO ANYTHING GOOD.

YEAH.

YEAH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> IS THIS THE NEW COMMERCIAL

FOR AREAS?

LAST WEEK WE DID AN I HATE

VIDEO, AND I THOUGHT WE WOULD

PUT SOME POSITIVITY, AND I

DECIDED TO KEEP UP WITH HER.

PLEASE, WELCOME, JESSICA.

[CHEERS]

THANK YOU.

>> YOU LOOK A LITTLE OLDER.

HOW LONG AGO WAS THAT VIDEO.

>> DECEMBER, 2001 AROUND EIGHT

OR NINE YEARS AGO.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME SINCE THAT

VIDEO.

>> NINE YEARS.

[LAUGHTER]

>> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN AS HAPPY

AS YOU WERE ON THAT DAY?

>> I WAS VERY OPTIMISTIC, AND

POSITIVE LITTLE GIRL.

BUT, I STILL ENJOY LIFE TO THE

SAME AMOUNT TODAY.

>> REALLY, IT HASN'T SUCKED THE

LIFE OUT OF YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

>> NOT REALLY.

>> GIVE IT A FEW MORE YEARS.

>> DO YOU STILL WEAR THOSE

PAJAMAS.

>> NO, I DON'T FIT INTO THEM.

>> CAN I HAVE THEM?

[LAUGHTER]

>> DO YOU STILL CLIMB UP ON THAT

ZINC?

>> IF IT IS A BAD DAY.

OR BAD MORNING.

I JUST LIKE, DO ALL THE THINGS,

THAT I HAVE IN MY LIFE, JUST TO

MAKE SURE, I ALWAYS HAVE A

POSITIVE OUTLOOK.

>> WAY TO MAKE ME [BLEEP]

>> DO YOU STILL FILM IT?

>> OH, LET'S TAKE A LOOK AT

THAT.

>> I LIKE TEXTING, AND PASTA.

>> I LIKE PUKE.

>> I LIKE MY CELLPHONE.

>> I LIKE MY HIGH METABOLISM.

>> AND I LIKED COOKIES.

>> I LIKE SOCCER.

>> I LIKE MY ASIAN MODEL

GIRLFRIEND.

[LAUGHTER]

>> I LIKE THE SIGNS AND SHAPES.

>> I LIKE MOVIES.

>> I LIKE MY WHOLE T.V. SHOW.

I CAN DO EVERYTHING BETTER THAN

[cheers and applause]

>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

ARE YOU READY?

>> I'M READY.

[both sighing in tandem]

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ LET ME TELL YOU

♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

♪ YOU WANNA DO IT IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ YOU WANNA DO IT

♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ YOU WANNA DO IT

♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ LET'S DO IT IN THE BUTT ♪

>> both: ♪ OKAY

>> FUNKY.

WHAT, WHAT IN THE BUTT IS NOT

ONLY A REAL QUESTION,

BUT IT NEEDS AN ANSWER.

AND THE ANSWER IS,

"LET'S DO IT IN THE BUTT."

"OKAY."

>> ♪ MMM

♪ I FEEL YOU WATCHING ME

♪ OVER THERE

♪ AH, COME TO ME

♪ IF YOU CARE

♪ DON'T SIT AND STARE ♪

♪ IT'S JUST NOT FAIR ♪

♪ MAKE YOUR MOVE

♪ IF YOU DARE

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ LET ME TELL YOU

♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

♪ YOU WANNA DO IT IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ YOU WANNA DO IT

♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN YOUR BUTT

>> ♪ YOU WANNA DO IT

♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN OUR BUTT

>> both: ♪ LET'S DO IT ♪

♪ IN THE BUTT

♪ OKAY

>> DOUBLE FUNK.

[funky acoustic guitar music]

>> ♪ HEY, HEY

♪ IT'S OKAY ♪

♪ IF YOU HAVE A LITTLE FIGHT

♪ A'DON'T YOU WORRY ♪

♪ I WON'T BITE ♪

♪ NOT THAT HARD

♪ IF YOU WANT IT

♪ I'LL GIVE YOU POWER ♪

♪ JUST BE GENTLE

♪ I'M DELICATE LIKE A FLOWER ♪

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

>> ♪ LET ME TELL YOU

♪ WHAT, WHAT

>> ♪ IN THE BUTT

♪ YOU WANNA DO IT IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ YOU WANNA DO IT

♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN YOUR BUTT

>> ♪ YOU WANNA DO IT

♪ IN MY BUTT

>> ♪ IN OUR BUTTS

>> both: ♪ LET'S DO IT ♪

♪ IN THE BUTT

♪ OKAY

[tambourine jingling]

>> BA-CHOO.

[cheers and applause]

>> both: THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

>> THANK YOU.

[LAUGHTER]

>> WHAT?

[LAUGHTER]

SUMMER IS A GOOD TIME TO FIX UP

YOUR BACKYARD.

[LAUGHTER]

HOLD YOUR HANDS UP, YOU DICK.

[LAUGHTER]

>> THAT SEEMS LIKE A TERRIFIC

WAY TO LURE CHILDREN TO YOUR

SHED.

[LAUGHTER]

>> I HEAR IF YOU BY AN ANNUAL

PASS, HE'LL LET YOU FOOL AROUND

WITH HIS DAUGHTER.

BUT YOU HAVE TO BRING AN EMPTY

COKE CAN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> WHEN WE COME BACK, WILL THEY

PICK THE DOWNTOWN LOFT?

THE UPTOWN CONDO OR THE HOUSE IN

THE BURBS WITH A BACKYARD

ROLLERCOASTER?

[LAUGHTER]

>> HOUSE HUNTERS.

>> THAT WAS SIX FLAG OVER

NEBRASKA AND NOW, LET'S SEE SIX

FLAGS OVER MISSISSIPPI.

[LAUGHTER]

ONE [BLEEP], MORE FLAGS MORE

FUN.

WHO DOESN'T WANT AN AN AMUSEMENT

PARK AT THEIR OWN HOUSE?

I TURNED MY CEILING FAN INTO A

SWING RIDE.

[LAUGHTER]

♪♪

>> IF YOU IF YOU GET STUCK

BEHIND THIS NEXT FOURSOME, DON'T

COUNT ON PLAYING THROUGH.

[LAUGHTER]

>> OKAY.

I'M DONE.

[LAUGHTER]

>> NOW, HE HAS A REAL HANDICAP.

[LAUGHTER]

>> LET'S USE THE WEDGE, TO KNOCK

HIS FAT ASS OUT OF THE ROUGH, IN

THIS WEEK'S BREAK DOWN.

[CHEERS]

.

>> IS THIS PEBBLE BEACH?

NO, JUST SOME CRAPPY PUBLIC GOLF

COURSE?

JONAH HILL SHOWS THAT DRINKING

IS DRIVING CAN BE PRETTY FUNNY,

IF IT IS 7-MILES-PER-HOUR.

LOOK AT HIM BOUNCE.

WHO SAID GOLFERS AREN'T

ATHLETES?

>> FORE?

TIGER WOODS, HAD BETTER CONTROL

OF HIS CAR AFTER HIS WIFE

KNOCKED HIS FACE.

>> THAT'S WHAT HAPPEN.

[LAUGHTER]

>> HE'S LUCKY HE DIDN'T BEACH

HIMSELF IN THE SAND-TRAP.

>> I'M FINE.

>> YEAH, I KNOW.

[LAUGHTER]

THE WORST PART IS THE GOLF CLUB

IS STUCK ON A BIGGER MOUND.

>> THIS IS A TOUGH SHOT.

TWELVE STROKES BACK.

NOT AN EASY UP-AND-DOWN.

LET'S GRIP IT AND RIP IT.

[LAUGHTER]

HE'S OUT OF THE HAZARD.

TIME TO REPAIR THAT FAT GUY

SIZED DIVOT, AND GIVE HIM A

GREEN JACKET FOR MAKING GOLF

WATCHABLE.

>> WE'VE JUST GLAD HE'S TOO LACY

TO WAL

>> CONGRATULATIONS, BEFORE WE

GO, LET'S PLAY A QUICK GAME OF,

IS IT RACIST?

[CHEERS]

HERE IS A RECENT POLITICAL AD,

FROM ALABAMA.

>> LET'S WITHHOLD JUDGEMENT.

>> I'M TIM JAMES, WHY DO OUR

POLITICIANS, MAKE US GIVE

DRIVER'S LICENSES IN ENGLISH.

THIS IS ALABAMA, LEARN IT.

IF I'M GOVERNOR.

[LAUGHTER]

>> IS IT RACIST?

>> YEAH, THAT'S REALLY RACIST.

[LAUGHTER]

>> THIS IS ALABAMA.

WE SPEAK ENGLISH.

IF YOU -- HEY, THERE'S A JUNE

BUG ON OUR CORN BONE.

>> SO, WAY TO GO, ALABAMA, BABY

STEPS.

>> HEY, SAMWELL.

>> HEY, WHAT'S UP?

>> HOW ARE YOU?

>> GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

>> THEY WERE OUT OF BATH TOWELS,

SO I HAD TO GO WITH A HAND

TOWEL.

>> WOW.

>> OH, THIS IS NICE.

GOOD SPOT.

>> YEAH.

>> SAMWELL.

>> YEAH.

>> TELL ME WHERE YOU GREW UP.

>> I GREW UP IN A SMALL TOWN

CALLED EDENTON, NORTH CAROLINA.

IT'S RIGHT ON THE WATER.

>> TELL ME ABOUT GROWING UP AS A

BLACK, GAY MAN IN NORTH

CAROLINA.

>> I DON'T KNOW IF I CAN SAY

THIS, BUT IT'S A BITCH.

I ALWAYS KNEW I HAD A SECRET,

AND IT WAS ALWAYS SOMETHING I

ALWAYS FELT LIKE I HAD TO KEEP,

YOU KNOW, UNDER WRAPS.

>> THAT YOU WANTED TO BE A

SINGER?

>> [laughs]

YES, YES, THAT'S IT.

>> WELL, SO WERE YOU IN THE

CLOSET GROWING UP?

>> OH, YEAH, CLOSET, BAM.

IT WAS LOCKED SHUT, STEEL LOCK,

BUT THEN I KNOCKED THAT BITCH

OPEN.

BAM.

>> WHEN DID YOU COME OUT OF THE

CLOSET?

>> THE CLOSET WAS KIND OF OPENED

FOR ME BY MY FRIENDS, WHO WERE

LIKE, "OH, YEAH, YOU'RE GAY."

AND I'M LIKE, "WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

>> DID YOU EVER DATE A WOMAN?

>> NO.

>> OH.

>> I MEAN, NO DISRESPECT, YOU

KNOW, BUT NO.

>> THEY'RE OKAY.

>> THEY ARE.

I MEAN, BREASTS ARE NICE, BUT

THAT'S--YOU KNOW, I THINK ALL

GAY MEN LIKE BREASTS.

I JUST THINK IT'S A MAN THING.

>> REALLY?

>> YES, SERIOUSLY.

UH-HUH, YES.

>> WHAT KIND OF GUYS ARE YOU

ATTRACTED TO?

>> IS THAT AN INVITATION?

>> IT IS NOT.

>> ARE YOU ASKING FOR YOURSELF?

>> NO, NO, NO, NO.

I JUST WANT TO KNOW--I GUESS

WHERE IT'S LEADING, I WANTED TO

KNOW, LIKE, ARE YOU AN ASS MAN?

>> I AM.

I AM.

>> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO PRISON?

>> NO, I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO

PRISON.

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WOULD DO

TO SOMEONE LIKE ME IN PRISON?

>> I ASSUME YOU WOULD HAVE A

PARTY.

>> [laughs]

YOU ASSUME I WOULD HAVE A PARTY?

I DON'T THINK SO.

WHAT IS MY ROLE?

BITCH BY CHOICE, NOT BY FORCE.

>> IS THERE A LOT OF PRESSURE

FOR YOU TO BE GREAT IN BED,

BECAUSE YOU'RE THE WHAT WHAT

(IN THE BUTT) GUY?

>> NO, THERE IS NOT A LOT OF

PRESSURE FOR ME TO BE GREAT IN

BED, BECAUSE I'M THE WHAT WHAT

(IN THE BUTT) GUY.

I'M JUST GOOD.

I ALWAYS GET ROUNDS OF APPLAUSE.

>> IT'S REALLY EASY TO BE GAY.

LET'S BE HONEST.

>> EX--I'M SORRY.

WAIT A MINUTE.

DID YOU JUST SAY THAT?

IT'S EASY TO BE GAY?

>> SEXUALLY.

>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> BECAUSE IT'S, LIKE, YOU'RE

JUST PLOWING A DUDE IN THE BUTT,

RIGHT, HAVING A GREAT TIME.

YOU GO TILL YOU FINISH, AND THEN

THE OTHER GUY, "ALL RIGHT, MY

TURN.

NOW I GO TILL I FINISH."

THERE ISN'T A LOT OF SKILL.

IF YOU--YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT,

LIKE, A VAGINA IS LIKE.

IT IS FRUSTRATING.

>> [laughs] I'M PROBABLY SURE IT

IS.

YOU'RE RIGHT, 'CAUSE YOU ALL GOT

TO GO DOWN IN THERE AND--

>> THERE'S NO RHYME OR REASON

FOR WHAT FEELS GOOD.

ONE DAY, THE NEXT DAY IT DOESN'T

FEEL GOOD.

IT'S JUST HORRIBLE.

>> AND THEN THERE'S--

>> OH, YOU HAVE IT SO GOOD.

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

>> WOW.

>> WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

>> I'M A FLIGHT ATTENDANT.

GO FIGURE.

>> WHY ARE THERE SO MANY GAY

FLIGHT ATTENDANTS?

>> [laughs]

HOW THE FUCK AND I SUPPOSED TO

KNOW?

>> WELL, YOU'RE A FLIGHT

ATTENDANT.

>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> WHY IS IT?

WHY DO THEY GRAVITATE TOWARD

THAT PROFESSION?

>> MM, I DON'T KNOW.

'CAUSE YOU'RE FABULOUS ALL DAY

LONG.

YOU GET TO STAND UP IN FRONT OF

PEOPLE, LOOK CUTE, BE POLITE,

THE WAY THAT REAL MEN SHOULD BE:

CUTE, POLITE, AND NICE.

>> DO PASSENGERS ON YOUR FLIGHTS

RECOGNIZE YOU EVER?

>> YEAH, THEY DO.

>> DO YOU ADMIT TO IT

IMMEDIATELY?

>> IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT KIND

OF MOOD I'M IN AND HOW I GAUGE

THEM, 'CAUSE SOME GET, LIKE,

SOME--THEY SEE IT.

I GUESS THEY UNDERSTAND THAT

I'M, YOU KNOW, A FLIGHT

ATTENDANT, SO I HAVE TO BE

PROFESSIONAL, AND THEN SOME ARE

LIKE, "AH!"

AND THEN SOMETIMES I'M JUST

LIKE, "YES, I AM.

JUST CHILLAX."

AND THEN SOMETIMES I'M LIKE,

"NO, I JUST LOOK A LOT LIKE

HIM."

IT JUST DEPENDS ON WHAT KIND OF

MOOD I'M IN.

>> HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN THE

COCKPIT?

>> I GO IN THE COCKPIT ALL THE

TIME.

I LOVE GOING INTO THE COCKPIT.

>> WHAT DO YOU DO UP THERE?

>> I LOOK OUT.

I SEE THINGS.

>> HAVE YOU EVER SANG YOUR SONG

DURING THE SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS?

>> NO.

THAT PROBABLY IS AN AFFIRMATIVE

NO.

THAT WOULDN'T GO OVER VERY WELL.

>> DO YOU DO FUNNY THINGS?

I'M NOT A BIG FAN OF WHEN FLIGHT

ATTENDANTS TRY TO BE FUNNY WHEN

DOING THE--

>> WHY NOT?

BECAUSE YOU'RE BORING?

OH, YOU WANT US TO BE ALL

SERIOUS.

"HELLO.

GOOD MORNING.

WELCOME ABOARD."

>> IT'S ABOUT--IT'S ABOUT

CRASHING.

>> IT IS NOT ABOUT CRASHING, YOU

NUT JOB.

>> WHEN YOU ARE GIVING THE

SAFETY INSTRUCTIONS, AND YOU

HAVE TO BLOW INTO THE--MANUALLY

BLOW UP YOUR LIFE JACKET,

DO YOU PUT BOTH OF THEM IN YOUR

MOUTH?

>> [laughs]

NO.

I DO ONE AT A TIME.

>> DO YOU ACTUALLY PUT IT IN

YOUR MOUTH, OR DO YOU JUST--

>> NO, 'CAUSE--I DON'T KNOW--

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THAT

THING--UH-UH.

IF YOU'D KNOW WHERE THAT THING--

NO, IT'S SITTING IN SOME BAG.

YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE

TOUCH IT IN A DAY.

NO, YOU JUST DO...

>> IT'S JUST OTHER GAY FLIGHT

ATTENDANTS.

>> IT IS NOT JUST OTHER GAY

FLIGHT ATTENDANTS.

NOT ALL MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS

ARE GAY.

GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD.

>> HOW MANY FLIGHTS ATTENDANTS--

MALE FLIGHT ATTENDANTS--DO YOU

KNOW THAT ARE NOT GAY?

>> OKAY, WELL, MAYBE A HANDFUL.

>> THEY'RE LIKE UNICORNS.

>> [laughs]

OH, REALLY?

>> THEY'RE MYTHICAL BEASTS.

ARE YOU A MEMBER OF THE

MILE-HIGH CLUB?

>> DON'T YOU WANT TO FIND OUT,

SWEET CHEEKS.

>> MY CHEEKS ARE SAD.

THEY'RE NOT--THERE'S NOTHING

SWEET ABOUT MY CHEEKS.

THEY'RE DEPRESSING.

>> WOW.

>> WHAT IS YOUR FASCINATION WITH

THE BUTT?

>> IT'S NOT A FASCINATION.

I MEAN, I HAVE A GREAT ASS, FOR

FUCK SAKE.

I THINK IT'S ONE OF THE BEST

ATTRIBUTES ON MY BODY, EXCEPT

FOR MY LIPS.

>> YOU DO HAVE STRONG LIPS.

>> I DO.

THEY'RE VERY ORAL.

>> WHAT?

>> VERY ORAL.

>> OH, GOT IT.

>> OF COURSE.

>> WELL, TELL ME ABOUT THE SONG.

HOW DID YOU COME UP WITH IT?

>> HOW DID I COME UP WITH THE

SONG WHAT WHAT (IN THE BUTT)?

WELL, WORKING AND FRIENDS.

THEY WOULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT MY

BUTT.

YOU KNOW, IT IS THE CROWN JEWEL

OF THE WORLD.

AND SO THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT IT,

AND THEY WOULD GRAB IT OR, YOU

KNOW, SMACK IT, AND I WAS--

>> WOULD THEY FLIP IT OR RUB IT

DOWN?

OH, NO.

>> THEY WOULD TALK ABOUT IT, AND

THEN ONE DAY, I JUST--

I WOULD JUST SAY, "WHAT, WHAT,

IN THE BUTT."

AND I WAS JUST SINGING THE SONG

TO A COWORKER OF MINE, AND HE

SAID, "WHAT IS THAT SONG?"

THEN A FEW MONTHS LATER, SURE

ENOUGH, WE WERE IN HIS HOME

STUDIO.

VOILA, 20 MINUTES, THERE WAS THE

SONG.

>> 20 MINUTES?

THAT'S ALL IT TOOK?

YOU'RE LIKE JAY-Z.

>> WHEN THE MAGIC HITS YOU, IT

HITS YOU.

>> WHAT'S THE MESSAGE OF THE

SONG?

>> THE MESSAGE IS JUST TO DO IT

IN THE BUTT.

IT JUST HAPPENED TO TURN OUT, I

GUESS, THAT SOME PEOPLE

INTERPRET IT AS A GAY SONG,

BECAUSE I'M GAY, AND I TALK

ABOUT DOING IT IN THE BUTT.

>> OH, HEAVEN FORBID THEY MAKE

THAT JUMP.

>> SHUT UP.

>> ALL RIGHT, I THINK WE'VE

OVERSTAYED OUR WELCOME HERE IN

THE SAUNA.

>> YEAH, I'M SURPRISED WE'RE

STILL EVEN ALIVE.

>> YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE IN

HERE LONGER THAN 15 MINUTES.

>> YEAH, WE'VE BEEN HERE QUITE

AWHILE.

>> SO LET'S GET READY FOR YOU

UNPLUGGED PERFORMANCE.

>> FOR SURE.

>> IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

AFTER YOU.

>> OH, AFTER ME?

ARE YOU GONNA LOOK AT MY BUTT?

>> I HAVE TO.

>> NO.

ARE YOU GONNA GRAB MY BUTT?

>> I'M NOT GONNA TOUCH--OH,

REALLY?

>> OF COURSE YOU--I KNOW YOU

WANT TO LOOK AT THIS.

I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE LOOKING.

DON'T GRAB IT.

>> PLEASE, LET'S GO.

WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.

>> DON'T TRY ANY FUNNY BUSINESS.

>> BECKY...

>> [laughs] YOU IS WRONG.

>> WHAT?

BECKY, LOOK AT THAT BUTT.

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