May 13, 2014 - Nana Nana Subaru Winner

  • 05/13/2014

A drifting car hits an onlooker, a girl falls off her bike, and Daniel decides who will take home his old Subaru.

NOW, REMEMBER, YOU ALWAYS WANTTO STEER INTO YOUR FRIENDS.

[engine revving]

ANY MAN WHO CLAPS OUTIN FRONT LIKE THAT

DESERVES TO GET RUN OVER.

[tires screeching]

IF ONLY YOU COULD GETNASCAR FANS

TO LINE THE TURNS AT DAYTONA.

HOPEFULLY SOMEONE'S HOBBY

IS RESTORING1967 WHITE MALE FATASSES.

HE DIED DOING WHAT HE LOVED,

AND THEY HONORED HIMTHE ONLY WAY THEY KNEW HOW.

[tires screeching]

SLID RIGHT INTO THE GRAVESITE.

OH, IT WAS A QUICK SERVICE.

HEY, WHEN WILL YOU GIRLS LEARN,

YOU DON'T NEED TO RIDE THE BIKE?

JUST SIT ON ITAND TAKE THE SELFIE.

[upbeat pop music]

I WOULD LOOK JUST AS FOOLISH

TAKING A CASSEROLEOUT OF THE OVEN.

THAT'S WHY SPIN CLASSIS SO GREAT.

IT ALLOWS GIRLS THE CHANCETO RIDE A BIKE

WITHOUT THE THREAT OF MOBILITY.

[upbeat pop music]

DON'T MOVE.YOU'RE GONNA BE OKAY.

I JUST NEED TO GETTHESE PANTS OFF ME.

FALSE ALARM.

TURNS OUT SHE WASA TOTAL BUTTERFACE.

NOW, JUST WHEN YOU THOUGHTSTREET FOOD IN CHINA

COULDN'T GET ANY GROSSER.

[audience groans]

AND THIS PLACEHAS A "B" RATING.

DO YOU HAVE ANYTHINGTHAT'S NOT FULL

OF ANGRY, VENOMOUS BEES?

STILL LESS DISGUSTINGTHAN RAISIN BREAD.

I'M NOT A FAN.

DO YOU GUYS REMEMBERWHEN MACAULAY CULKIN DIED

AT THE END OF MY GIRL?

NOT A DAY GOES BYI DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT.

ALL RIGHT.

BEES OR NO,I CANNOT BE TRUSTED

AROUND PASTRIES ON A CHEAT DAY.

OH, THOSE ARE SUPER TOUGH.

WHERE DID THESE PASTRIESCOME FROM?

- SOME CHINESE MARKET.

- AH.

[buzzing]

- [yelling]

- BETWEEN THATAND FORTUNE COOKIES,

THOSE CHINESE SHOULD JUSTGIVE UP ON DESSERT.

OH, I LIKE WHERETHIS SLUMBER PARTY IS HEADED.

NOW, LET'S SEE WHAT COPS DO

WHEN THEY DON'T KNOW CAMERASHAVE BEEN INSTALLED

IN THIS WEEK'S BREAKDOWN.

[cheers and applause]

WELCOME TO THE CLINK,

THE SLAMMER,THE BIG HOUSE,

POPCORN CITY,ANAL ALLEY.

POPCORN CITY?

THAT'S IT, NICE AND SLOW,YOU LITTLE TEASE.

THE FULL BODY CAVITY SEARCH

IS THE SEXIEST PARTOF POLICE WORK.

OH.

THERE GOES YOUR ONE PHONE CALL.

TO BE FAIR,THE COP MIGHT HAVE SAID,

"QUICK, FLING YOUR UNDIESIN MY FACE."

THERE'S NO AUDIO,SO WE CAN'T BE SURE.

REMEMBER YOUR TRAINING.

IF THIS ISTHE L.A. SHERRIFF'S DEPARTMENT,

I KNOW THEY WILL HANDLE THINGSCALMLY AND RATIONALLY.

TASER BEATS UNDERPANTS.

LESSON LEARNED.

THAT IS 50,000 VOLTS

OF "[bleep] YOU.I'M IN CHARGE."

SEE BLACK PEOPLE?

IT'S NOT JUST YOU.

NOW, JUST LIE THERE

WHILE THEY PUT ALL THEIR FINGERSIN YOUR BUTT,

AND FOR THAT,WE THANK YOU.

- HEY, DANIEL.- HEY, DANIEL.

- HEY, DIP[bleep].

- I NEED YOUR WHIP,

BECAUSE THIS ONE AIN'T WORKING.

[upbeat techno music]

- NANNY, NANNY, SUBARU.

- I THINK I CAN MAKEA 30-MINUTE COMEDY

FUNNIER THAN YOU.

- AAH...

I CAN DO THAT.

- WOW.

- WOW.

- CAN YOU DO THIS?

- TWO.

THREE.

FOUR.

- NANA, NANA, BOO, BOO,[bleep] BAG.

HA.

- NANA, NANA, BOO, BOO.

GIVE ME YOUR SUBARU.

- HOW YOU GONNA TOP THAT?YOU LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.

YOU'RE A PUSSY.

- [grunts]

- I CAN DO ARM PIT FARTSBETTER THAN YOU.

[fart noises]

- NANA, NANA, SUBARU,

I'M CRAZIER THAN YOU.

[snorting]

- NANA, NANA, BOO, BOO,

STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO-DOO,TOSH.

GIVE ME YOUR SUBARU.

- I'VE ALWAYS ENVIEDDANIEL'S FIGURE,

BUT CAN HE LYNCH DOWNTO 19 INCHES IN A CORSET?

- NANA, NANA, SUBARU.

- I'LL BE SEEING YOUWHEN I COME

FOR THAT SWEET-ASS NEW SUBARU.

- [low-pitched chanting]

- NANA, NANA, BOO, BOO,STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO-DOO.

- TALENTLESS,ALL OF YOU!

THOSE WERE JUST A FEW

OF THE LITERALLY TRILLIONSOF LOSERS

WHO SUBMITTEDTO THE NANA NANA SUBARU CONTEST,

EACH MORE PAINFUL TO WATCHTHAN THE LAST.

WHAT I ORIGINALLY WANTED TO DO

WAS HAVE ALL OF YOUSEND IN VIDEOS

AND THEN JUST GIVE MY CARTO MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY,

BUT THE NETWORK LAWYERSDIDN'T FIND THAT IDEA

QUITE AS AMUSING.

THE GUY DESERVES IT.

TALENTED.

SO NOW I HAVE TO GIVE ITTO ONE OF YOU,

BUT LIKE A TAMPON,

THERE'S A STRING ATTACHED.

I WILL ONLY HAND OVER THE KEYSTO MY MUFF MOBILE--

SUBARU'S WORDS, NOT MINE--

TO SOMEONE I DEEM WORTHY.

- SO, TOSH, PUTTING YOUR CARON THE LINE FOR A CONTEST?

BIG MISTAKE.

[audience laughing]

- NO SUBARU FOR YOU-BARU!

WHAT, DO YOU LIVEIN AN M. NIGHT SHYAMALAN MOVIE?

I WISH I HAD A HOUSETO GIVE YOU.

WHO'S NEXT?

- ♪ HEY, DANIEL

♪ I MADE YOU THIS THING

♪ 'CAUSE I KNOW THAT YOU

♪ CAN'T PLAY OR SING

♪ SO NANA, NANA, BOO, BOO

♪ STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO-DOO

♪ I AM BETTER THAN YOU

♪ DANIEL, PLEASE,NOW WILL YOU ♪

♪ LET ME HAVE YOUR SUBARU?

♪ OH, PRETTY PLEASE,CAN YOU PLEASE? ♪

♪ I'M BEGGING, PLEASE

♪ I'LL GET DOWN ON MY KNEES

♪ YOUR WHIP IS PRETTY SWEET

♪ SO COULD I HAVE THE KEYS?

♪ TITTIES

- VERY CREATIVE.

WAY TOO MUCH CLOTHING.

AM I THE ONLY ONEWHO IS SICK AND TIRED

OF THESE LITTLE WHITE GIRLSAND THEIR UKULELES

TAKING JOBS AWAY

FROM LAZY, MORBIDLY OBESEHAWAIIAN DUDES?

IT'S A NO.

NOW, THIS NEXT GUYIS DYING TO GET MY CAR.

- HEY, DANIEL.BIG FAN OF THE SHOW.

SO THE SITUATION IS THIS:

I'VE BEEN DIAGNOSEDWITH HODGKIN'S LYMPHOMA.

I AM LOOKING AT SOMEPRETTY ROUGH CHEMOTHERAPY

FOR ABOUT SIX MONTHS.

YOUR SUBARUWOULD HELP US OUT A LOT.

HERE'S MY CHALLENGE:

SAY "NO" TO THE GUY WITH CANCER.

- SOLID MOVE,PLAYING THE CANCER CARD.

LET'S SEE IF HE'S STILL ALIVE.

PLEASE WELCOME MATTHEW.

[applause]- HI, DANIEL.

- I'M NOT GIVING YOU MY CAR.

THAT WAS NOT HARD AT ALL.

SEE YOU LATER, MATTHEW...

HOPEFULLY.

AND NOW, WITHOUT FURTHER ADO,

BECAUSE ANYONE WHO KNOWS MEKNOWS THAT I [bleep] HATE ADO,

IT'S TIME TO FIND OUTNANA, NANA, BOO, BOO,

WHO WILL WIN MY SUBARU?

RIGHT AFTER THIS!

HO, YOU THOUGHTIT WAS GONNA HAPPEN--

OH, NO!

[applause]

- DANIEL, I REALLY WANTTO WIN YOUR CAR,

SO I BET THAT YOU CAN'T

BREAK FIVE PENCILS IN HALFAT ONCE.

[hisses]

snap!

THERE YOU GO.

TRY TO BEAT THAT.

- YEAH, SHE'S A REAL BEAUT,ISN'T SHE?

THAT'S THE CROWN JEWELOF MY COLLECTION--

THE ONLY CARI CURRENTLY HAVE ON THE LOT.

[whistles]

ONE PREVIOUS OWNER--

REAL DOUCHE BAG, THOUGH.

HI, I'M CRAZY DAN.

- I'M MITCHELL.

- NICE TO MEET YOU,MITCHELL.

LET ME GIVE YOUONE OF MY CARDS.

YOU MINDIF I CALL YOU MITCH?

- ALL RIGHT.

- HERE, STEP INTO MY OFFICE.

FIRST OF ALL,HOW OLD ARE YOU?

- 19.- 9--

I THOUGHT FOR SUREI WAS STARING AT A 32-YEAR-OLD.

WHY DO YOU DESERVE THIS CAR?

- BECAUSE I--WELL, I NEED TO THINK.

- YOU TAKE A MINUTE.

I'M JUST GONNA BE FILLING OUTSOME PAPERWORK.

HAVE YOU EVER MURDERED ANYONE?

- NO.- KIDNAPPED ANYONE?

- NO.- STDs?

- NO.- DUIs?

- NO.

- MURDERED ANYONE?- NO.

- WHAT'S YOUR DREAM JOB?

- ECONOMIST.

- CAN YOU GIVE ME SOME TIPS?

- SAVE YOUR MONEY

AND JUST INVEST IT WISELY.

- THAT IS A SOLID TIP.

JANET, DID YOU GET THAT?

WHAT DO YOU THINKTHE KELLEY BLUE BOOK VALUE

IS ON THAT SUBARU?

- $29,000.

- $28,000.

DID YOU TRY SIX PENCILS

AND YOU REALIZEDYOU COULDN'T DO IT

AND THEN WENT DOWN TO FIVE?

- I TRIED EIGHT

AND REALIZED I COULDN'T DO IT.

THEN I WENT DOWN TO FIVE.

- YOU SUBMITTED FIVE VIDEOS.

YOU CRUMPLED A PAPER,AND THEN YOU HAD A RULER

TO SHOW US THATIT WAS AN INCH AND A HALF.

AND YOU THOUGHT,"GIVE ME A CAR."

- [laughs]YES.

- WHY DID YOU THINKI WOULDN'T BE ABLE

TO STAND UP FROMAN INDIAN-STYLE POSITION?

- I MEAN, YOU PROBABLY COULD

BUT MAYBE NOT AS FASTAS I DID.

- YOU JUST BROKE MY PICTURE.YOU DON'T GET MY CAR.

HOW WILL YOUR LIFE CHANGEIF I GIVE YOU MY CAR?

- I WOULDN'T HAVE TO PAYFOR ANOTHER ONE.

- SO NOT VERY MUCH.

DO YOU HAVEA VALID DRIVER'S LICENSE?

- NO.

- ARE YOU [bleep] KIDDING ME?- I'M NOT.

- HOW ARE YOU GONNA DRIVETHIS THING HOME?

- I DON'T KNOW.

- ALL RIGHT,THERE'S ONE LAST THING.

BEFORE I CAN LEGALLYGIVE YOU MY CAR,

YOU NEED TO BEAT MEIN A PENCIL FIGHT.

[exotic music]

OKAY.

AND I...

[sighs]

UNDEFEATED SINCE SECOND GRADE.

I'LL LET YOU GET FIRST LICK,

BUT I PROMISE,IF I CATCH YOU BRIDGIN',

I WILL SLIT YOUFROM KNEE TO THROAT

AND CLIMB INSIDE YOU.

FIRST OF ALL,

LET ME JUST HELP YOU OUTA LITTLE BIT.

YOU'RE GONNA WANT THE METAL ENDTO HIT THE PENCIL.

clack!

OKAY, THERE'S YOUR FIRST HIT.

NOW YOU--NOW MY TURN.

I'M GONNA RAISE YOU UPA LITTLE BIT.

clack!

SORRY, MITCH.

TOUGH BREAK.

GET OUT!

- HI, TOSH.I'M ALI.

AND I'M A HULA HOOPER,

AND I THINK THATI'M BETTER AT IT THAN YOU.

NANANA, BOO-BOO.

I CAN HOOP BETTER THAN YOU,FOOL.

- HOW YOU DOING THERE,DOLLFACE?

- I'M GOOD.HOW ARE YOU?

- I'M DOING WELL.THANKS FOR ASKING.

IT IS THE PERFECT TIMETO BUY A 2011,

RIGHT WHEN THE 2015sARE ROLLING OUT.

THIS CAR'S GOT EVERYTHING.

OH, LOOK AT THAT.

IT'S GOT MIRRORSSO YOU CAN CHECK OUT

ALL YOUR PIERCINGS.

WHY DO YOU DESERVE THIS CAR?

- I THINK I DESERVE THIS CAR

BECAUSE I RUNMY OWN SMALL BUSINESS,

AND I DO A LOTOF MUSIC FESTIVALS.

- LET'S TALK ABOUTTHIS BUSINESS.

I REALIZE THAT YOU SELLHULA HOOPS FOR A LIVING,

BUT WHAT DO YOU DOTO MAKE MONEY?

- I SELL HULA HOOPSFOR A LIVING.

- ARE YOU A HIPPIE?

- [laughs]

- DO YOU SHOWER A LOT?

- YES.

- DO YOU WAX?

- NO, I SHAVE, THOUGH.

- ARE YOU A CLEAN PERSON?

- FOR MOST--MOST PART, YEAH.

- WHAT'S YOUR BATHROOM LIKE?

- WELL, MY BATHROOMIS ALSO MY BIRD'S PLAYROOM.

- OH.YOU HAVE A BIRD?

DO YOU HAVE A PARROT?

- YES, HER NAME IS LESLIE.

- NOW, THAT PARROT WON'T BE

RIDING IN THIS CAR,WILL IT?

BECAUSE I AM NOT A FAN OF THAT

IN ANY WAY, SHAPE,OR FORM.

- YES.

- ARE YOU GOING TO HAVETANTRIC SEX

IN THE BACKSEAT?

- I DON'T KNOW.MAYBE.

- WILL YOU BE LISTENINGTO ANY GRATEFUL DEAD IN MY CAR?

- PROBABLY.

- OH...

DO YOU SMOKE?

- I DO.

[laughs]

- ALI, I TELL YOUWHAT I'M GONNA DO FOR YOU.

IF YOU CAN HOOP MEFROM ACROSS THE ROOM,

THE CAR IS YOURS.

- SO WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?

- I'M GIVING YOU ONE SHOT.

YOU HAVE TO LOOP ME.

THAT'S IT.IT'S VERY SIMPLE.

YOU CAN'T TAKE A STEP FORWARD.

YOU JUST HAVE TO THROW ITFROM BEHIND MY DESK,

AND YOU CAN'T HIT ANY WALLS

OR THE CEILING

OR THE CAR,

AND IT CAN'T BANK OFFFROM BEHIND ME FIRST,

AND YOU CAN'T KEEPTAKING STEPS--

OH...

- I'M BEN.

- I'M ZACH.

- AND THISIS A POOR LIFE CHOICE.

[stylus buzzing]

[lively rock music]

- WELL, I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW

WE DO A ZERO-POINT INSPECTIONON ALL OUR VEHICLES.

THE NAME'S DAN.YOU CAN CALL ME CRAZY.

LET ME GET YOU ONE OF MY CARDS.

THERE'S ALL OF THEM.

DO YOU HAVEA LEGAL DRIVER'S LICENSE?

- YES, I DO.- YOU HAVE A JOB?

- NO, I DO NOT.

- WHAT KIND OF CARDO YOU CURRENTLY HAVE?

- I DON'T HAVE A CARRIGHT NOW.

- HOW'S YOUR DRIVING RECORD?- MM, SPEEDING TICKETS.

- WHAT'S THE FASTESTYOU'VE EVER BEEN IN A CAR?

- PROBABLY 140.- WHOA.

IS THERE SOMEONE SPECIALIN YOUR LIFE?

- YEAH, MY GIRLFRIEND.

- YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN?- NO, I DON'T.

- DOES SHE HAVE CHILDREN?- SHE HAS A KID.

- DID THAT SCARE YOU AT FIRSTWHEN YOU STARTED

DATING SOMEBODY,JUST AS A PERSONAL--

- NO, BECAUSE THE GIRLI WAS DATING BEFORE THAT

WAS ACTUALLY PREGNANTWHILE WE WERE DATING.

- AND THAT WASN'T YOUR KIDEITHER?

- NO, THAT WASN'T EITHER.

- DID YOU HAVE SEX WITH HER

ALL THROUGH HER PREGNANCY?

- YEAH.

- [laughs]

I LOVE IT.I LOVE IT.

WHY DID YOU MAKE THIS VIDEOIN THE FIRST PLACE?

- MY BUDDY CALLED MEAND SAID,

"HEY, WE SHOULD DO A PORTRAIT

OF YOU AND YOUR DOGON YOUR ASS."

- DO YOU DO A GOOD JOB WIPING?

BECAUSE I WORRYTHAT YOU'RE GONNA GET

[bleep] SMEARS ON MY FACE.

- I DO A GREAT JOB WIPING.

- WHY DID YOU ONLY GETONE OF MY DOGS TATTOOED ON YOU?

I WOULD LIKE YOUTO APOLOGIZE TO EVA.

- I'M SORRY, EVA.

IT WAS WRONG OF ME.

- SHE FORGIVES YOU.

ALL RIGHT, ENOUGH CHITCHAT.

CASTRO AND I BOTH

WOULD LIKE YOUTO PULL YOUR PANTS DOWN.

OH, MAN.

OH, LOOK AT THAT.

HI, CASTRO.

ALL RIGHT,EVERYTHING CHECKS OUT.

NOW ALL YOU HAVE TO DOIS BEAT ME IN A GAME

OF TIC-TAC-TOE,AND THE CAR IS ALL YOURS.

ALL RIGHT, ZACH,I'M GONNA BE Xs

BECAUSE Os ARE STUPID.

- ALL RIGHT.- ALL RIGHT.

AH, THE FIRST MOVE IS ALWAYS--

OH, IT SAYS A LOTABOUT WHO YOU ARE.

OKAY, OOH.

[exhales]

I WOULD LIKE TO GO XRIGHT THERE.

[stylus buzzing]

ALL RIGHT, WHERE WOULD YOULIKE TO GO?

- I CAN'T SEE IT.- YEAH, I KNOW, ZACH.

THAT'S GONNA BE A BIG PROBLEM,BUT YOU CAN FEEL IT.

- TOP RIGHT CORNER.

- ONE OF THE BIG DOWNSIDESTO DOING THIS

IS THAT I CAN SMELL ASS.

- ISN'T THAT GREAT?

- LET'S JUST GO X RIGHT HERE.

[stylus buzzing]

- NERVE ACTION.

- OH...

X RIGHT HERE.

THE BOARD IS YOURS.

- MIDDLE LEFT.

- HMM...

HMM...

LET'S GO X RIGHT HERE.

OKAY.

- CIRCLE IT IS.

[stylus buzzing]

- ALL RIGHT, WELL,THERE'S ONE SPACE LEFT.

I WILL GO IN THE CENTER.

I WON!

[laughter]

- I'M SHOCKED YOU DIDN'T GOIN THE MIDDLE FIRST.

- THAT'S WHY THEY CALL MECRAZY DAN.

I PLAY THE CORNERS!

I PLAYTHE CORNERS!

- DANIEL, I'M BEGGING YOUFOR THAT SUBARU.

I REALLY NEED A NEW CAR.

TOP THIS ONE, DANIEL.

NANA, NANA, BOO-BOO.

I JUST STUCK MY HEADIN DOO-DOO.

I'M BEGGING YOU,PLEASE INVITE ME TO HOLLYWOOD

FOR A CHANCE TO WINYOUR SUBARU.

- ARE YOU KICKING THE TIRES?FEEL FREE.

FEEL FREE.GIVE 'EM A GOOD KICK.

GO AHEAD.GIVE 'EM A KICK.

YEAH, THEY'RE ON THERE.

BY THE SMELL OF YOU,YOU MUST BE JASON.

I'M CRAZY DAN.- NICE TO MEET YOU.

- LISTEN, I'D LOVE TO GIVE YOUA CARD.

I'M ALL OUT.

WAS THE POOP STILL WARM?

- YES.

- WHO WAS FILMING?- ME.

- OH, YOU JUST SET IT UP.GOT IT.

BUT IT WAS, LIKE,TWO DIFFERENT SHOTS.

- THE FIRST ONE,I THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY TO--

YOU'D SEE THE DOG POOPING,SO YOU KNEW IT WAS REAL.

- YOU NEED TO SEE THE DOG POOP.

- MY WIFE SAID THAT

YOU COULDN'T SEE THE HEADGOING INTO THE POOP,

SO I RANAND HAD TO DO IT AGAIN.

- WAS YOUR WIFE ASHAMED,

OR IS SHE ASHAMEDOF YOUR ACTIONS?

- YES.

- SO YOU WENT BACK OUTAND DID IT AGAIN.

- FOR ABOUT THE THIRD DAYIN A ROW.

- I DON'T KNOWIF THAT INFORMATION

IS HURTING YOUR CASEOR HELPING YOUR CASE.

HAS YOUR DOG LOST RESPECTFOR YOU?

- HE LOOKS AT ME FUNNY NOW.- [laughs]

ALL RIGHT, JASON, I'VE BEENSAYING IT FOR YEARS:

NANA, NANA, BOO-BOO,

STICK YOUR HEAD IN DOO-DOO,

AND YOU'RE THE ONLY ONEWHO LISTENED.

SO AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED,

CONGRATULATIONS,THE SUBARU IS YOURS.

- REALLY?THE CAR IS MINE?

- YEAH.- IS IT REALLY?

- YEAH.- THANK YOU.

- YOU'RE WELCOME, BUDDY.

- I APPRECIATE IT.

- THERE WE GO.

WE'RE GONNA CELEBRATE, JASON.

- CELEBRATE.

pop!

- THERE WE GO, JASON.

THE SUBARU IS YOURS.

CONGRATULATIONS, JASON.

pop!

ALL RIGHT, JASON.

[horn blaring]

THE ONLY PROBLEM IS,

MY DOG SWALLOWED THE KEYA FEW WEEKS AGO,

AND IT'S IN ONE OF THESE BAGS.

[cheers and applause]

I SURE AM GONNA MISSTHAT 'RU.

HAD IT FOR FOUR YEARS,

DIDN'T CHANGE THE OIL ONCE.

AND UNLIKE OPRAH,I DIDN'T STICK HIM

WITH A $6,000 TAX BILL.

FINALLY, THIS MIGHT BETHE MOST SHAMEFUL SHAMING VIDEO

I'VE EVER SEEN.

- [high-pitched gibberish]

GET OFF ME!

OH, NO!

I'M COVERED IN BLUE!

- OUR FRIEND MIGHT BE DEAD.

NO ONE CALL 911

TILL WE SCRUB THIS DINNER JACKETOFF OF HIM.

THE GUY'S LUCKYHE WASN'T AT MY PLACE.

BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN ANYONE PASSES OUTAT MY HOUSE...

all: YOU BANG 'EM!

- THAT'S RIGHT.I BANG 'EM.

- GREAT PARTY.- THANKS FOR COMING.

- LOOKS LIKEMARISSA'S PASSED OUT.

GUESS SHE'S SLEEPING HERETONIGHT.

- MM,YOU KNOW THE RULES.

I'M GONNA BANG HER.

- SHE'S ASKING FOR IT.

- [sighs]

[sighs]

I JUST GOT BANGED

AT DANIEL TOSH'S HOUSE.

[upbeat rock music]

- AH, CHECK OUT MOREOF MY HILARIOUS PRANKS

ON MY WEBSITE,BANG BUS.

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