February 28, 2012 - Bad Breakdancer

  • 02/28/2012

The White Breakdancer gets a Web Redemption, and Daniel plays "Is It Racist?"

POINTS AND 10 ASSISTS AGAINST

THE SACRAMENTO KINGS WHICH IS

PRETTY GOOD.

I DISCOVERED MCDONALDS HAS A

WEBSITE EXCLUSIVELY FOR ITS

BLACK CUSTOMERS.

YEA!

THE ADDRESS IS 365 BLACK.COM.

MCDONALDS HAS SEGREGATED

WEBSITES, COME ON, EVERYONE

KNOWS THE BLACK MCDONALDS IS

MCDOWELLS.

I AM CONFIDENT THAT POPEYES ONLY

HAS ONE WEBSITE.

WHAT YOU DO WITH THE INFORMATION

IS UP TO YOU.

IF A COMPANY HAS FORWARD

THINKING AS MCDONALDS HAS TWO

WEBSITES THEN

ALRIGHT, WE HAD A LOT OF FUN

TODAY, STEREOTYPES ARE NOT

ALWAYS TRUE.

HERE ARE BRAVE AFRICAN-AMERICANS

NOT AFRAID TO GO AGAINST THE

GRAIN.

♪ ♪

>> TYLER PERRY. I DO NOT LIKE

♪ ♪

I THINK I GOT A LITTLE DICK

WE'VE COME A LONG WAY

THE PERSON THAT DOES THE CLOSED

CAPTIONING FOR THIS SHOW IS

ABOUT TO EXPLODE.

>> YOU DONE NOTHING BUT

AEROPOSTALE.

GO CHANGE YOUR OUTFIT.

IT AIN'T NOTHING.

YOU GOT MY COUSIN.

SHE STOLE, HOW MUCH YOU NEED?

>> LONG BEACH'S DEBATE TEAM IS

LOOKING STRONG.

AT LEAST THE PARENTS DON'T HAVE

TO WORRY ABOUT A COLLEGE FUND.

OBAMA'S DAUGHTERS ARE WELL

SPOKEN.

APPARENTLY THEY DISLIKE THE

CLOTHING COMPANY AEROPOSTALE.

KNOW I HAPPEN TO BE A HUGE

AEROPOSTALE FAN.

>> OH NO YOU BITCHES DIDN'T.

I BEEN WEARING AEROPOSTALE SINCE

DAY ONE. CAUSE I MAKE A MILLION,

A BILLION, KATRILLION.

BABY GIRLS.

LOOK AT. IT LOVE. SUCK IT. FUCK

IT.

>> YOU REALLY ARE, SO AM I.

>> MAN THEIR HAND SHAKES ARE

GETTING MORE AND MORE

COMPLICATED.

LET'S WATCH SOME GOOD OLE

BLACK-ON-BLACK VIOLENCE ON THIS

WEEK'S BREAK DOWN.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS IS IN HOT-LANTA, WHICH IS

HIP HOP'S NASHVILLE.

LOOKS LIKE THIS GUY IN THE

ORANGE DID NOT ENJOY HIS TAN

KWER RAY SHONS BLI AND HE EAT

TRYING TO GET IN THE CAR TO PICK

UP HIS DAUGHTER.

HE MUST BE A MEMBER OF NADD.

YOU COULD TAKE HIS KEYS AWAY.

IT IS NOT LIKE A CAB WOULD EVER

TOP TO PICK THEM UP.

IT COSTS MORE THAN A DUI?

REINSTRUCTIVE DENTAL SURGERY.

I SWEAR TO GOD I LOVE YOU IS THE

BEST WAY TO PAY TRIBUTE TO BOBBY

AND WHITNEY'S RELATIONSHIP.

HE KEEPS FORGETEDING TO SAY NO

HOMO.

I AM SURE IF YOU WEREN'T

CRUSHING HIS WINDPIPE HE WOULD

SAY I LOVE YOU BACK.

>> NOW IT IS TIME FOR IS IT

RACIST?

>> TIME FOR A SPECIAL BLACK

HISTORY MONTH OF IS IT RACIST?

YOU DECIDE IF THIS CLIP IS

RACIST?

THIS SEGMENT HAS NEVER BEEN MORE

IMPORTANT.

[LAUGHTER].

CALM DOWN, CALM DOWN, THERE IS

NOTHING RACIST ABOUT SOMEONE

ENJOYING FRUIT.

HOWEVER, WHEN SOMEONE'S EATING

IT THAT AGGRESSIVELY, YOU MIGHT

NOT WANT A BUNCH OF OLD WHITE

WOMEN CHEERING HER ON LIKE THEY

HAVE MONEY RIDING ON HER.

SO YES, I BELIEVE THAT WAS A TAD

RACIST.

I WAS RECENTLY IN AN EATING

CONTEST.

I AM CONFIDENT MY RACE GAVE ME A

COMPETITIVE ADVANTAGE.

>> SON.

[LAUGHTER].

THE TRICK TO WINNING THE

HAVE A CLUE, YOU ARE NOT GOING

TO BE THE GREAT BREAKDANCER YOU

THINK YOU ARE.

YOU ARE GOING TO DESTROY YOUR

BODY BEFORE YOU GET UP INTO THE

LITTLE ASIANS LEVEL.

>> LITTLE ASIANS, SEEMS

REDUNDANT.

THAT B-BUOY IS ALEX.

I HEARD BREAKDANCER IS THE MOST

IMPORTANT FOR AFRICAN-AMERICANS

NEXT TO DECORATING PUBLIC

PROPERTY INTO SPRAY PAINT.

IT IS GYMNASTIC FOR PEOPLE WHO

CAN'T AFFORD PROPER TRAINING.

I REFUSE TO LAY MY BODY ON THE

DISGUSTING FLOOR.

THIS SHIRT COST $900.

YEAH, HIGH FASHIONED.

I KNOW TO LOCK MY CAR DOOR WHEN

EVER PEOPLE ARE DOING IT.

I AM FROM FLORIDA YOU KNOW I CAN

TOOT SI ROLL.

I HAVE NEVER KRIP WALKED.

I GREW UP IN A GOOD SED.

MINORITIES ARE BETTER AT

BREAKDANCER.

THERE ARE FEWER PARENTS TO

SQUASH THEIR PASSION.

WHITES ARE NOT THE BEST AT THIS

ONE PARTICULAR ACTIVITY.

WE CONTROL THE WORLD ECONOMY.

I AM OKAY FOR LETTING ANOTHER

RACE HAVE KRUMPING.

MICHAEL J. FOX DID LEAVE

TELEVISION TO PURSUE TELEVISION

FULL TIME.

ALEX STILL THINKS HE CAN DANCE.

HE PLAYS CRAWLING WITH LITTLE

ASIANS IN THIS WEEK'S WEB

REDEMPTION.

>> DANIEL, YOUR BOYFRIEND IS

HERE.

>> COME IN, HAVE A SEAT.

MAYBE I CAN GET YOU SOMETHING.

MAYBE A WATCH.

>> YOU'LL NEVER BE AS FUNNY AS

THOSE LITTLE JEWS.

>> I WILL THEN I WILL SHOVE IT

IN YOUR -- FACE.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DANCING?

>> YEAH.

I TRIED FOOTBALL, MY DAD PUSHED

ME INTO PLAYING BASKETBALL.

>> VERY FEW DADS PUSH THEIR BOYS

INTO B-BOYING.

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE HIT ME

UP ON YOUTUBE AND SAID SHE IS A

RACIST, BITCH.

IN THE VIDEO SHE IS WORRIED

ABOUT MY HEALTH BECAUSE I KEEP

HURTING MYSELF.

>> THEN SHE THROUGH AN ENTIRE

RACE OF PEOPLE THROUGH THE BUS.

WHEN MY PARENTS SAW IT WASN'T A

FAD, A THING TO GET GIRLS.

>> IT IS STILL JUST TO GET

GIRLS, RIGHT?

MY ENTIRE EXISTENCE IS FOR

WOMEN.

I GOT INTO COMEDY FOR GIRLS.

>> THE QUICKEST WAY TO A GIRL IS

HER FUNNY BONE.

>> IT IS NOT TRUE, IT IS MONEY.

>> I AM IN A CREW.

>> DID YOU GET BEAT IN OR SEXED

IN.

>> WHAT RACE IS THE BEST

DANCERS?

>> KOREA AND JAPAN.

>> SMEAR NUMBERS GAME.

SO MANY OF THOSE LITTLE

BASTARDS.

WHEN YOU ARE AT A NIGHTCLUB, HOW

QUICK BEFORE YOU TAKE OVER?

>> POST UP AGAINST THE WALL,

WATCH PEOPLE.

WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE ELSE, I

COULD SMACK HIM.

YOU JUMP UP AND PROVE YOU ARE

BETTER.

>> I POST UP AND BE THE CREEPY

GUY.

WHENEVER YOU ARE MAKING LOVE,

HAVE YOU SPUN OVER ON THEM?

>> IF YOU ARE A B-BOW YOU CAN

WANT.

>> WOULD YOU DATE JAY-LO?

>> YES.

>> I WOULDN'T>> WHY?

>> FIRST OF ALL SHE IS

DISGUSTING.

>> TELL ME THREE NICE THINGS

THAT AREN'T RACIST ABOUT ASIANS?

>> I LOVE ASIAN FOOD.

>> I WATCH -- MARSHAL ARTS.

>> DO YOU THINK IT IS COOL THAT

THEY PEE PEE IN OUR COKE?

>> NO.

>> I HAVE FLOWN YOUR MOTHER OUT

HERE.

YOUR MOM AND A GROUP OF 25 PAID

EXTRAS.

ARE YOU READY?

>> YES.

>> MOM, ARE YOU READY NOT TO SAY

ANYTHING RACIST FOR THE NEXT 2

MINUTES?

>> SURE.

♪ ♪

[APPLAUSE].

>> THANKS.

WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE LITTLE

ASIANS DOING HERE?

[LAUGHTER].

>> DANCE BATTLE.

[LAUGHTER].

>> TURNS OUT YOUR MOM WAS SPOT

ON.

♪ ♪

>> DANCE LIKE NO ONE IS

WATCHING.

EVERYONE IS WATCHING THAT ASIAN

CREW.

♪ ♪

NICE.

THERE IS NO WAY YOU LOST THIS.

[APPLAUSE].

>> DON'T FEEL BAD, YOU'LL NEVER

BE AS GOOD AS THOSE GANG MEMBERS

>> HEY, MRS. TOSH.

IS DANIEL HOME?

>> LET ME GO SEE.

HE DOESN'T LIKE TO BE DISTURBED

WHILE HE'S PRACTICING.

>> YOU'RE TELLING ME

THAT'S ENOUGH PEANUTS?

>> DANIEL, YOUR TWINK BOYFRIEND

IS HERE.

>> THANK YOU, MOTHER.

COME ON IN.

HAVE A SEAT.

MAYBE I CAN GET YOU SOMETHING,

LIKE A WATCH.

>> QUIT IT, DANIEL.

YOU CAN TELL AS MANY JOKES

AS YOU WANT.

YOU'LL NEVER BE AS FUNNY

AS THOSE LITTLE JEWS.

>> OH, I WILL.

AND THEN I WILL SHOVE IT

IN YOUR FUCKING FACE.

>> ALL RIGHT, TAKE.

>> DID YOU GET HURT

IN THAT VIDEO?

>> IF YOU WATCH IT, YOU'LL SEE

MY ANKLE--MY ANKLE WAS KIND OF

ALREADY PREVIOUSLY INJURED.

>> FROM BREAK-DANCING?

>> I'M PRETTY SURE IT WAS

AN INJURY FROM BREAKING.

I USED TO PRACTICE EVERY DAY,

ALL THE TIME, YOU KNOW.

>> THAT'S WHAT IT TAKES

TO BE THE BEST.

>> YEAH. NO, DEFINITELY.

I MEAN, I WOULD GET HURT A LOT

BECAUSE I HAD NO ONE TEACHING ME

HOW TO DO IT EXCEPT YOUTUBE

AND THIS ONE VIDEO I GOT

ON AMAZON ABOUT, LIKE,

"HOW TO BREAK-DANCE"

OR SOMETHING.

>> WAS IT A BLACK TEACHER?

>> YES.

>> GOOD.

HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DANCING?

>> I WOULD SAY, LIKE,

FOUR YEARS.

>> DID YOU EVER PLAY

ANY REAL SPORTS?

>> YEAH, YOU KNOW, I TRIED

TEAM SPORTS AS A KID.

YOU KNOW, I TRIED FOOTBALL.

MY DAD, LIKE, YOU KNOW, PUSHED

ME INTO PLAYING BASKETBALL,

AND--

>> VERY FEW DADS PUSH THEIR KIDS

INTO B-BOYING, I'VE FOUND.

>> MY PARENTS WERE IN NO WAY

INVOLVED IN THAT.

>> YOUR MOM WASN'T

VERY SUPPORTIVE.

>> A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE,

YOU KNOW, HIT ME UP ON YOUTUBE

AND SAID THINGS LIKE THAT

SHE'S A RACIST B-I-T-C-H.

THE THING THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND

IS, IN THE VIDEO, SHE'S ACTUALLY

WORRIED ABOUT MY HEALTH,

'CAUSE I KEEP HURTING MYSELF.

>> WELL, I UNDERSTAND THAT,

BUT THEN SHE THREW AN ENTIRE

RACE OF PEOPLE UNDER THE BUS.

[laughs]

>> SHE THOUGHT I WAS TOO TALL.

'CAUSE IF YOU'RE REALLY TALL,

YOU CAN B-BOY, BUT IT'S HARD.

>> WELCOME TO MY HELL.

>> I THINK WHEN MY PARENTS SAW

THAT IT WASN'T A FAD;

IT WASN'T, LIKE, A QUICK, LIKE,

YOU KNOW, THING TO GET GIRLS,

YOU KNOW--

>> BUT IT ISN'T--IT HASN'T

EVOLVED PAST--IT'S STILL

JUST TO GET GIRLS.

AM I RIGHT?

>> NO.

>> WHAT?

LIKE, I MEAN, MY ENTIRE

EXISTENCE IS FOR WOMEN.

LIKE, I GOT INTO COMEDY

FOR GIRLS.

>> HEY, THEY SAY THE QUICKEST

WAY TO A GIRL'S HOO-HA

IS THROUGH HER FUNNY BONE.

>> THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S MONEY.

>> [laughs]

>> ALL RIGHT, WHAT DOES YOUR MOM

WANT YOU TO DO WITH YOUR LIFE?

>> SHE WANTS ME TO FINISH UP--

SUCCEED IN SCHOOL

AND JUST FINISH UP

AND GET MY DEGREE, DEFINITELY.

>> MY MOM USED TO THINK THAT,

AND THEN I TOOK HER TO AN ISLAND

THAT I RENTED, AND SHE WAS KIND

OF LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, COLLEGE

SEEMS KIND OF STUPID."

>> MAN, I WISH I COULD DO

SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

>> DOES YOUR MOM ALWAYS UNPLUG

THINGS INSTEAD OF JUST

TURNING THEM OFF?

>> THAT WAS TO MAKE A STATEMENT,

LIKE, "YOU'RE DONE,"

LIKE, BAM, UNPLUG.

TURN OFF THE LIGHTS.

>> ARE YOU STILL DANCING?

>> OH, YEAH, DEFINITELY.

>> WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

>> FORMULA BOOGIE CREW.

>> OH, YOU'RE IN A CREW.

>> DEFINITELY.

>> DID YOU GET SEXED IN

OR BEAT IN?

>> [laughs]

>> THEY DON'T DO THAT

IN DANCE CREWS?

>> NO, MAN.

IT'S MORE LIKE I JUST KIND OF

PROVED THAT I WAS SERIOUS

AND THAT I WAS IMPROVING,

AND I, YOU KNOW,

KIND OF BATTLED--

YOU KNOW, FOUGHT MY WAY IN.

>> WELL, WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE

MUSIC TO BREAK TO?

>> '70s FUNK, SOUL, JAZZ,

DEFINITELY SOME OLD

MICHAEL JACKSON.

>> WHAT ABOUT BON IVER?

YOU LISTEN TO THEIR NEW STUFF?

>> WHO?

>> PROBABLY TOUGH TO BREAK TO,

BUT, MAN, IS IT GOOD.

>> YEAH, I'VE NOT HEARD THAT.

>> DO YOU HAVE A SIGNATURE MOVE?

>> BACK IN HIGH SCHOOL,

THERE WAS ONE MOVE

I WAS KNOWN FOR DOING.

>> WHAT WAS THAT SIGNATURE MOVE?

>> BACK IN THE DAY,

EVERYONE USED TO DO THE WORM.

>> YEAH, I'M A FAN OF THE WORM.

>> ONE DAY, I WAS MESSING AROUND

IN MY LIVING ROOM, AND I WAS

LIKE, "IS ANYONE DOING THE WORM

ON THEIR BACK?"

AND, YOU KNOW, NO ONE WAS.

>> YOU DID THE UPSIDE-DOWN WORM.

>> YEAH.

>> THE DYING WORM.

>> THE DYING WORM.

>> WHAT RACE IS THE BEST

DANCERS?

>> KOREA AND JAPAN, LIKE,

THEY DO REALLY GOOD.

>> IT'S A SHEER NUMBERS GAME,

THOUGH.

>> YEAH, I GUESS

YOU COULD SAY THAT.

>> THERE'S SO MANY OF THOSE

LITTLE BASTARDS.

>> [laughs]

>> WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE DANCER

THAT'S A CELEBRITY?

>> FIRST OF ALL, I DON'T CARE

WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT HIM.

I LOVE MICHAEL JACKSON.

>> I WISH HE WAS HERE.

>> YEAH, THAT WOULD DEFINITELY

BE SOMETHING IF

HE WAS RIGHT HERE.

>> HE'S NOT.

HE'S NOT HERE.

WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE

DANCE MOVIE?

>> PROBABLY WILD STYLE.

>> WHEN YOU'RE AT A NIGHTCLUB,

HOW QUICK BEFORE YOU TRY TO,

LIKE, TAKE OVER?

>> YOU KIND OF POST UP

AGAINST THE WALL.

YOU KIND OF, LIKE, GIVE

EVERYBODY THE EYE AND, LIKE,

WATCH OTHER PEOPLE.

AND THEN WHEN YOU SEE SOMEONE

ELSE TRY TO THROW THEIR MOVES

OUT AND YOU'RE LIKE, "OH, MAN,

I COULD SMACK HIM," YOU KNOW,

THAT'S WHEN YOU JUMP UP

AND YOU PROVE YOU'RE BETTER.

>> I JUST POST UP ON THE WALL

THE WHOLE TIME AND JUST BE

THE CREEPY GUY.

WELL, SEE, I'M A LITTLE BIT

OF A GERMOPHOBE,

AND THE IDEA OF GETTING

ON THE FLOOR IN A CLUB

SEEMS JUST AWFUL TO ME.

>> BUT I SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

THE GROUND CAN BE KIND OF DIRTY

SOMETIMES.

>> IT'S FILTHY.

YOU BEEN TO A NIGHTCLUB

AFTER BEN ROETHLISBERGER?

WHO KNOWS WHAT'S ON THAT FLOOR?

>> [laughs]

>> DO YOU EVER, WHEN YOU'RE

MAKING LOVE, LIKE, SPIN AROUND

ALL OVER ON THEM?

>> [laughs]

>> HAVE YOU EVER TRIED

TO QUIT DANCING?

>> NEVER.

>> YOUR BODY WON'T LET YOU.

>> IF YOU'RE A REAL B-BOY,

YOU CAN'T JUST QUIT.

>> WHAT ABOUT WHEN YOU'RE 70?

>> B-BOYING'S NOT THAT OLD,

SO WE DON'T--I DON'T THINK--

>> THERE'S NO 70-YEAR-OLD

B-BOYERS.

>> YEAH, THERE'S NOT.

BUT, YOU KNOW, I THINK WHEN

THAT TIME COMES AROUND, LIKE,

CRAZY LEGS AND, YOU KNOW,

SOME OF THOSE GUYS, ALIEN NESS

AND ALL THEM, ARE IN THAT OLD

AGE, I THINK THEY'LL STILL BE

B-BOYS, YOU KNOW?

>> DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF

A GREAT DANCER?

>> HONESTLY, NO, I DON'T.

>> WOULD YOU DATE J.LO?

>> YES, DEFINITELY.

>> I WOULDN'T.

>> WHY?

>> WELL, FOR A FEW REASONS.

FIRST OF ALL, SHE'S DISGUSTING.

>> HOW?

>> I'M NOT INTO

THE CENTAUR BODY.

>> OH.

>> CAN YOU TELL ME THREE

NICE THINGS ABOUT ASIANS

THAT AREN'T RACIST?

>> I LOVE ASIAN FOOD.

>> ASIAN FOOD.

>> I'M NOT GONNA LIE TO YOU,

MAN.

I THINK ANIME'S TIGHT, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, I EVEN WATCHED NARUTO

FOR A WHILE.

>> YOU WATCHED NARUTO?

>> OH, YEAH.

>> OH.

>> OH, YEAH, I MEAN, I USED TO,

LIKE, GEEK OVER THAT.

>> YOU GET ONE MORE.

>> MARTIAL ARTS, DEFINITELY.

>> DO YOU THINK IT'S COOL

THAT THEY PEE-PEE IN OUR COKE?

>> NO.

>> YOU DON'T KNOW THAT ONE?

>> NO, I DON'T.

>> ME CHINESE.

ME PLAY JOKE.

ME GO PEE-PEE IN YOUR COKE.

[both laugh]

AND THE--

ME JAPANESE.

ME SO SMART.

ME NOT DRINK THE PEE-PEE PART.

COME ON.

WAS I THE ONLY ONE THAT GREW UP

IN A HATEFUL FAMILY?

ALL RIGHT, I'VE TAKEN THE

LIBERTY OF FLYING YOUR MOTHER

OUT HERE SO SHE CAN WATCH YOU

PERFORM IN FRONT OF A CROWD

AND SEE ONCE AND FOR ALL

THAT YOU ARE BETTER

THAN THOSE LITTLE ASIANS.

>> YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'LL GIVE IT MY BEST SHOT.

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