June 18, 2009 - News Puke Kid

  • 06/18/2009

Fred Willard flaunts his celebrity encounters, and the Morning News Puke Guy gets a Web Redemption.

WE MADE A GOOGLE SCAVENGER HUNT

TO FIND THIS OLD PHOTOOF DEMI MOORE.

WE MADE THAT THICKET

THE NUMBER-ONE GOOGLE TREND

FOR FIVE--FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS.

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'REGONNA GIVE US A PLAQUE

OR A CEASE AND DESIST ORDER,

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO READSOME OF THE FUNNIEST COMMENTS

POSTED ON OUR WEBSITES.

GROSS, SALLYTWO[bleep].

>> WHEN I STARTED OUT AS

AN ACTOR, I REALIZED I WAS

GETTING VERY SELF-INVOLVED,

AND A FRIEND OF MINE SAID,

"FRED, GET A HOBBY.

BUY A CAMERA.

YOU'RE GONNA MEET A LOT OF

CELEBRITIES OVER THE YEARS.

TAKE PICTURES.

THEY'LL BE CHERISHED MEMORIES."

AND SURE ENOUGH, TWO WEEKS

LATER, I WAS IN TIME SQUARE,

AND I MET CHARLIE CHAPLIN.

I SAID, "SIR, WOULD YOU HONOR ME

BY TAKING A PHOTO?"

WHICH HE TOOK WITH HIS TREMBLING

HANDS, AND I STILL VALUE THIS

PICTURE TODAY.

I GOT A LOT OF PICTURES HERE.

CHRISTOPHER WALKEN I MET IN

A RESTAURANT IN TORONTO.

HE TOOK A PICTURE.

INTERRUPTED HIS MEAL.

HERE IS ME MEETING

KAREEM ABDUL-JABBAR,

WHO IS A HECK OF A LOT TALLER

THAN I THOUGHT HE WAS.

YOU SEE, I WAS STARING AT

HIS BELT BUCKLE, WHICH SAID

"WORLD CHAMPION" SOMETHING.

THERE'S A PICTURE OF ME THE DAY

MY DAUGHTER WAS BORN,

WHICH I'LL ALWAYS REMEMBER.

TOM HANKS WAS AT THE HOSPITAL,

AND I ASKED HIM TO TAKE

THE PICTURE.

HE WAS VERY GRACIOUS.

AND HERE'S A BEAUTY.

JOHN LENNON TOOK A PICTURE OF ME

AND YOKO ONO.

IT'S NOT THE YOKO ONO,

BUT IT'S ANOTHER YOKO ONO.

>> MR. WILLARD, WE DON'T MEAN TO

INTRUDE.

>> WE ARE SUCH BIG FANS.

>> OHH.

>> WE WATCHED YOU LAST NIGHT

THROUGH YOUR BEDROOM WINDOW.

>> BUT WE DIDN'T WANT

TO TROUBLE YOU.

>> THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

>> WELL, COULD WE TROUBLE YOU

NOW FOR A PICTURE?

>> SURE.

THERE YOU GO.

AND...

HAVE A NICE DAY.

[goat bleating]

OH, YEAH, IT'S THE GOATTHAT YELLS LIKE A HUMAN.

WHAT ARE YOUSCREAMING AT, GOAT?

MEGAN FOX?

SHE'S PERFECT.WHY WOULD YOU YELL AT HER?

IS IT BECAUSE YOU'VE BEENREADING SOME OF THE BLOGGERS

WHO SAY THATSHE HAS TOE-THUMBS?

DO WE HAVE A REAL,HONEST CLOSE-UP OF HER THUMB?

[goat bleating]

THAT IS A DEAL BREAKER.

NO WONDERI CAN'T READ HER TEXTS.

SHE'S HAMMERING OUTSIX KEYS AT A TIME.

WE MADE A GOOGLE SCAVENGER HUNT

TO FIND THIS OLD PHOTOOF DEMI MOORE.

WE MADE THAT THICKET

THE NUMBER-ONE GOOGLE TREND

FOR FIVE--FIVE STRAIGHT DAYS.

YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW IF THEY'REGONNA GIVE US A PLAQUE

OR A CEASE AND DESIST ORDER,

BUT I WOULD LIKE TO READSOME OF THE FUNNIEST COMMENTS

POSTED ON OUR WEBSITES.

GROSS, SALLYTWO[bleep].

IT'S TYRONE.

HOW ARE YOU?- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- NICE TO MEET YOU.HAVE A SEAT.

- SURE.- DON'T THROW UP.

THAT'S OKAY.

THAT'S A JOKE,

RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX.

DO YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH?

- WELL, NOT NORMALLY.

- ON TELEVISION--

- I GUESS,WELL, LIVE TELEVISION.

- OKAY.

WELL, THIS ISN'T LIVE.- YEAH.

- SO JUST RELAX.

FIRST OF ALL,LET ME PUT ON SOME MUSIC

TO MAKE THIS--

WE HAVE SOME INCENSE CANDLES.

GINGER.GINGER'S GOOD FOR THE STOMACH.

WE HAVE TEA, AND WE HAVEA LITTLE ZEN GARDEN THERE,

IF THAT WOULD HELP YOU RELAX.

THERE YOU GO.

OH, THAT IS PEACEFUL.

I'VE BEEN ON--

WAS THAT A MORNINGTELEVISION SHOW?

- YEAH.IT WAS A 6:00 A.M. SHOW.

I DON'T--- KEEP GOING, KEEP GOING.

- SURE.- JUST IN CASE.

LET ME JUST PUT THAT NEAR YOUJUST IN CASE.

DO YOU THINKYOU COULD'VE COMPOSED YOURSELF

AND FINISHED YOUR INTERVIEW?

- UH, YEAH, I GUESS.

- SURE.

DID YOU THINK MAYBE THE DESK

WASN'T THE BEST PLACETO THROW UP?

MAYBE TO THE SIDE?

- I GUESS I WAS LIKEA DEER IN THE HEADLIGHTS.

- SURE, I MEAN, YOU'RE TALKINGTO A GUY THAT'S [bleep] HIMSELF

ON MORE THAN ONE OCCASIONAS AN ADULT, SO...

YOU KNOW WHAT RELAXES ME?

- UH...

- I JUST QUOTE"DRINKING OUT OF CUPS."

WHO'S THIS GUY, HUH?

THIS CAPTAIN KNOTS?CAPTAIN TYING KNOTS?

ANYONE NEED SOME KNOTS TIED?

I THINK YOU'RE READY.

[whispering]I KNOW YOU'RE READY.

[normal voice] ALL RIGHT,LET'S GET THIS HELMET OFF.

THE WORLD WANTS TO KNOW.

ARE YOU READYTO GIVE IT ANOTHER SHOT?

- YEAH.

- OKAY.

AND WE'RE BACK.

WITH US TODAYIS TYRONE DAVIES.

- AND WE'RE TOURING THE COUNTRYWITH OUR FESTIVAL RIGHT NOW.

THE FREE FORM FILM FESTIVALIS A TOURING FILM EVENT.

[dramatic music]

WE'RE ALSO CURRENTLYDOING A--

WE'RE ALSO CURRENTLY DOING--

WE HOPE THAT FILMMAKERSWILL CHECK OUT OUR WEBSITE

AND FIND OUTHOW TO SEND WORK TO US.

- ANYTHING ELSE?

[dramatic orchestral music]

- I THINK THAT'S IT.

- GREAT.

AND WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

[indistinct whispering]

- AND WE'RE CLEAR.

- AAH!THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

YOU NAILED IT.

[Joyful, Joyful We Adore Thee plays]

[applause]

I KNOW, I KNOW,

A BIT ANTICLIMACTIC.

HE DIDN'T PUKE.

BUT TYRONE AND I WENT OUTAND CELEBRATED

THE ONLY WAYA WEB SHOW KNOWS HOW--

BY DOINGTHE MILK-GALLON CHALLENGE.

THAT'S RIGHT,ONE GALLON OF MILK

IN UNDER AN HOUR.

LET'S PARTY, HUH?

- AWESOME.- THERE YOU GO.

CRACK THE BOTTLE.

DOWN THE HATCH.

COME ON, KID.

[belches]

I'LL TELL YOUWHAT WOULD GO GREAT WITH THIS,

SOME COOKIES.

- UGH.- FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?

TOP OF THE WORLD.

- WHOO.

- SORRY.SORRY, TYRONE.

- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.- BUT I LOVE TO PARTY!

- [coughing]

- IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

OH, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

- I FORGOT TO TELL YOU

MY STOMACH LININGBLEEDS SOMETIMES.

WHOO!

- WHAT'S THE WEBSITE?

[belches]

- FREEFORMFILM.ORG.

- OH.

Loading...