Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
Now, please allow him to demonstrate how bloody it can get when you are unsafe.
The worst part about birds are their dead eyes. You can never tell what they're thinking. And that's exactly the way they want it, because they are always planning to kill you.
Here they are caught in the act.
He must be a decent guy if he's giving everyone this warning that he's a giant creep.