Even psychopaths enjoy taking a vacation from time to time.
Breaking nearly every bone in your body is a small price to pay to have a slightly better reception for Wheel of Fortune.
[via The Chive]
“White or wheat?” *The Subway employee asks in a seductive tone*
Don’t be fooled, kids. It’s not safe to trick or treat at this house.
If you’re a sign spinner and can’t get off work on your wedding day, you improvise.