Never get your friends drunk when they're teething.
If you or someone you know is a chronic self-wedgier, please call this hotline and know that you are loved: 1-877-NO-WEDGE
Guys love chicks who can lift themselves 3 feet in the air.
Realizing it was Thursday basically felt like being in a leotard, running up to a spring board, and dragging my face across a gymnastics wedge.
[via The Clearly Dope]