Never order your kid's clothes from the dark web.
Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
You can probably sew those shorts right back up, but he'll never be able to get his asshole back.
Is he drunk or was she hiding a canister of knockout gas up there?
Generally I prefer chopped salads but I can see how that would get messy here.