Tosh.0 Blog

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

Posted by: Carly Hallam | May 8, 2012 at 3:00PM

The race to turtle heaven. Which I assume is filled with pizza and girls that look like April O'Neil.

[thanks Alaina]

Tags: 

animal

beach

crow

death

sad

turtle

Rename This Video Vote

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | November 8, 2011 at 12:00PM

Last Thursday, we showed you "Chicken Riding Tortoise" and asked you to give us a better title.

We picked five of our favorites and now it's your chance to vote on a winner.

Vote below! Then check back this Thursday for the results and a new video.

Rename This Video

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | November 3, 2011 at 6:00PM

This video is called "Chicken Riding Tortoise."  Something, slow cock, something.  This'll be easy.  Have fun with it.

Think you got a funnier name for this video? Let us know in the comments! Then check back on Tuesday at noon for the vote off!

The winner of this week's Rename This Video Vote was Karen Acuna Wilcox with her title, "He may scare crows, but he doesn't scare ho's."  It's funny because crows and hos rhyme.  Congratulations, Karen!

The Tortoise and the Chair

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | August 25, 2011 at 12:00PM

"I wish that tortoise would stop chasing me around!  I also wish I could walk.  But at this point I'd settle for the tortoise not chasing me around."

[via The Clearly Dope]

Tags: 

animals

chase

follow

pets

tortoise

turtle

wheelchair

Birds Can Be Assholes Too

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | June 8, 2011 at 1:00PM

The hare wasn't going to lose this time.  He ordered a hit to have the tortoise taken out Nancy Kerrigan-style.

Tags: 

animals

asshole

bird

bird vs turtle

kick

push

trash

turtle

Super Fast Turtle Breaks Stereotypes

Posted by: Carly Hallam | May 24, 2011 at 4:00PM

"This Florida softshell has done more for reptiles of the order Testudines than any creature before him." -Turtle President

[via Dog and Pony Show]