This is why I consider myself more of a defensive driver.
[via Ebaum's World]
"Me? No, I'm not pissed. Just came to tell you what a lovely bear-dog you have."
I don’t even own a van but I immediately went online to see if it was available in my state.
[via Uber Humor]
He thought about eating a bowl of cereal too but didn’t want to push his luck.