Have you seen this new iPad????
You know what it can do?? OH! I'll tell you!!
- It can KICK YOUR F***ING ASS!
- It FLIES!!
- It provides a more realistic newspaper reading experience when reading THE NEW YORK TIMES!
- It BUTT RAPES Amazon's Kindle and then brags about it ALL OVER TOWN!!
- It will DOCK WITH YOUR KEYBOARD!
- You can use iTunes!!
- You can rub your filthy hands ALL OVER IT!
- It'll Bluetooth the SH*T out of you!!
- It'll cure your AIDS!
- Steve Jobs will be able to SEE YOU PEE!!!
- Subway bums will FOLLOW YOU HOME!!!
- It will GET YOU ROBBED!
- You can take it to CAMP!!
- YOUR FATHER will finally accept your alcohol abuse!!
- The screen is SEMEN RESISTANT!!!
- It will mate with your iPhone giving birth to FREE iPod Nanos!
You excited yet?!?! Go get yours today!!!!
[Note: You can not get your today. They come out in April or something.]