While I was traveling for the holidays, turns out those who actually cared about the Internet discovered "The Most Useless Machine EVER!"
Which, I guess, makes this "The Most Useless Post EVER" — since you're probably one of the over 700,000 views that video already has.
But whatever! I don't care! I like it, and I haven't posted about it yet, and so I'm posting about it!
You got a problem with that? You think that's useless??
Well, here's Star Wars Kid!
How useless is THAT!?!
I don't give a F**K! You don't own me!!!