She named the pink dildo Patrick.
Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
That’s why you hire Spider-Man for birthday parties. Far less chance of indecent exposure in that costume.
[via Ruined Childhood]
See? That ugly stereotype about all pedophiles driving windowless vans isn't true at all.
[via Acid Cow]
Anyone in cellblock D who wasn't down with Nickelodeon got shanked.
I get that very same look when I see an attractive girl at the grocery store and I'm wearing my SpongeBob pajamas.
[via Daily Garlic]