She named the pink dildo Patrick.
It's always warm enough for a picnic in the underworld.
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Women can do anything, and that includes failing really hard.
I'd be worried about what his future kids will think, but there's no chance he's having sex again.
That’s why you hire Spider-Man for birthday parties. Far less chance of indecent exposure in that costume.
[via Ruined Childhood]
I wish we lived in a world where this wasn't an extremely easy Rihanna joke.
[via Uber Humor]
Anyone in cellblock D who wasn't down with Nickelodeon got shanked.
Have you ever felt like you don't belong? I haven't, but that's because people generally like me. And I'm not going to apologize for that, you sad sack. But if you have felt that way, then surely you'll identify with Gothbob Blackpants here, along with the rest of these special somethings that are so gloriously out of place.
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