Wait, when did New Jersey get a Disney park?
[via Acid Cow]
We like to make our dinner feel very important before violently murdering it.
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
At least she doesn't have to deal with dry elbows in the winter.
And with that, he packed up his dreams of being able to walk again.
I know the dog did the dirty work but there had to be a cat somewhere devising this plan.
[via Distinguished Baloney]
This is the Bernie Sanders version of when Oprah told everyone they were getting a new car.
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web: