• Caption Challenge

    We like to make our dinner feel very important before violently murdering it.

  • Tosh on Tour

    Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.

  • #WCW

    At least she doesn't have to deal with dry elbows in the winter.

  • #TBT

    And with that, he packed up his dreams of being able to walk again.

Tosh.0 Blog

Don't 'Mind' If I 'Do'

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 23, 2013 at 3:00PM

The first draft of this sign was "Please Ejaculate In Our Video Store."

[via Unnecessary Quotes]

From Around the Web

Ugh, SO True

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 18, 2013 at 1:00PM

So come on down to the world's most full-service barbecue restaurant.

[via Izismile]

Sick Of Eating Actual Babies, You Monster?

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 15, 2013 at 1:00PM

Congratulations, it's a burrito and you're going to die at 40.

[via Break]

IF You Know What We Mean

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 15, 2013 at 11:00AM

Kind of like how I "wear" a condom with my girlfriend. (Never wear a condom and try to pull out most times. Sorry, Karen.)

[via Izismile]

I Read That In The Kama Sutra

Posted by: Matt Koff | January 14, 2013 at 6:00PM

So far, my loose tongue has only gotten me into floppy, 44-year-old, divorced places.

[via The Chive]

Why Are There So Many Clocks In This Cock Store?

Posted by: Matt Koff | October 23, 2012 at 3:00PM

That lamppost was placed there by a giggling fourteen-year-old boy.

[via Izismile]