I like a man who brings dinner home for the family.
[via TC Mag]
The last time he was around these ladies, they cut his balls off so he has justification to not stick around.
"Let's put a towel down. This thing's a rental and I'm not trying to lose my deposit."
This is why you wait for the dog to come to a complete stop before boarding.
[via Acid Cow]
I'm not very religious, but if this came at me in a dark alley I would definitely start praying.