Gryffindor is not going to be happy with this attitude.
[via Acid Cow]
As an adult, the only things that get you pee-your-pants excited are open bars and lumps that test negative.
[via Bro My God]
For her father's sake, I hope he's lying under one of those graves.
Now I understand why all these hot teachers are throwing their lives away to bang teenagers.
[via Daily Garlic]
As much as I enjoyed watching this douche on Millionaire Matchmaker (true story), I think I'm going to love him even more in his new series, Irritable Bowel Syndrome: Constantly Looking For The Bathroom.