Tosh.0 Blog

Justin Bieber Wants To Sell You Perfume, Give You A Piggyback Ride

Posted by: Carly Hallam | May 24, 2011 at 6:00PM

My Size Pop Star Justin Bieber is expanding his ever-growing empire with a new fragrance!

It's called Someday and if you buy it, Biebs will give you a very awkward piggyback ride through the sun-drenched clouds and then back to your bedroom where he will immediately sit you down so as not to appear shorter than you.

Never say purple shoes.

[via Vulture]

Well That's Just Gross, Hef

Posted by: Mike Pomranz | February 18, 2011 at 1:00PM

I don't care if you are cover-of-Playboy hot, there are some things I will not do to get laid.

[via BuzzFeed]

Jon Stewart + Justin Bieber = Come On Now, Really?

Posted by: Carly Hallam | February 4, 2011 at 2:00PM

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Daily Show?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Daily Show is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because we're all owned by the same parent company so we could force Jon Stewart to do it.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[Previously: The Situation + Justin Bieber]

The Situation + Justin Bieber = One Of Those Nightmares That Doesn't Make Any Sense Once You Wake Up

Posted by: Carly Hallam | February 3, 2011 at 11:00AM

"Never Say Never" Marketing Department Meeting:

MARKETER #1: What's our target market?

MARKETER #2: Twelve year-old girls.

MARKETER #1: And what do twelve year-old girls like besides Justin Bieber?

MARKETER #2: The Jersey Shore?

MARKETER #1: What? No. The correct answer is iceskating. They don't even know what the Jersey Shore is.

MARKETER #2: Oh. Because I have The Situation's agent on the phone and he'll do it. He'll do anything.

MARKETER #1: Fine. Book him. I'm going to lunch.

[via Gawker]

8 Kilometers: The Real Justin Bieber Story

Posted by: Carly Hallam | November 12, 2010 at 1:00PM

"Never Say Never" might have a Justin Bieber Segway scene. And it might have footage of Biebs in a shower with another dude. But it doesn't have an overdramatic backstory told between poor resolution home video clips from Justin's childhood.

Er. Well, this time, the truth ain't so pretty.

"8 Kilometers: The Gritty Life Story of Justin Bieber". Every moment is another chance, eh?

[babelgum via thd]