“I’m tired of magazines sayin’ flat butts are the thing.”
"I can't tell if something's wrong with the machine or if it's my Oregon Trail floppy disk."
[via The Chive]
"We're out of Kraft Mac and Cheese, but would you accept Mac and Kraft Cheese?"
[via Fail Nation]
Had I been there, I never would've let her bring a melon one-piece to the beach.
Anybody got a dollar bill I could roll up?