Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
"Yeah, I'll have the number fourses. No cheese, extra precious."
[via Knuckle Draggin]
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
The only way this costume could be whiter is if that kid was holding the season one DVD of 'Girls.'
Buseys are special. They can see and hear things that normal people can't. They sit on hills, smoke cigars and talk about Lord Of The Rings characters for no apparent reason. They tend to travel alone. I don't know how a male or female Busey apparatus works but it must be working in some way because there's also Jake Busey. Doggone Buseys, they're so cute. Can't tell the boys from the girls which must make it exciting for them. Buseys wear NFL hats and they always get stuff done quickly efficiently and to the T. They can finish a pint of Jager in under 6 seconds and also their skin is the color of ham.