Wednesday night, 69-year-old wheelchair bound Milton Ellis was attacked by a 22-year-old vampire at an empty Hooters in St. Pete, Florida. According to Milton, who brought her back with him to the empty restaurant, Josephine Smith bit his face and neck and yelled about being a vampire.
Josephine recently studied “dental assisting” so it's possible she was just treating his neck for cavities and she's very bad at her trade. But maybe she really is a vampire. In which case, go for someone way younger and hotter than Milton Ellis!
That's rule number one of vampirehood, Josephine. You have to fall in love with a highschooler.
You can't trust that news report. They cited the website "Urban Dictionary."
Why's it gotta be an "urban" dictionary? Clearly that's racist.
But a message to the old people in this news report who think "You mad bro" is racist… You probably want to stay away from the Internet altogether. First place to stay away from: the comments section for the YouTube video "People Think "You Mad Bro?" Is racist."