Never order your kid's clothes from the dark web.
Very few people know that scorpion venom tastes like vanilla..
Do something you won’t regret. Go see Daniel live on tour.
Save some of that ferocity for your wedding night, little lady.
This election year feels like we're living in an episode of Drunk Future. Minus the robots.
His favorite holiday is Snake-o de Mayo. And yes, I am ashamed of that joke.
Donald Trump's hands are so jealous of these feet.
Chimp my ride.
We received a lot really bad comments in our most recent Tosh.0 Caption Challenge.
We had to pick one so we picked the caption above from a comment left by Frank Ficcardi.
Don't like it? See other top captions by checking out the comments from Monday's post and also, do better.
Thanks to everyone who submitted! Come back next Monday at 4pm for another edition.
If I had to guess who shit in the holy water, my money's on lil' bird flipper over there on the right.
[via LOL Hehehe]