"Chicks love single dads." – This guy.
[via Bunny Food]
Since you spend all day on the Tosh blog, here's what you're missing on the rest of the web:
To paraphrase Three 6 Mafia: It's hard out here for a kitten lover.
This lady is very afraid of cats.
"He's just staring at me." "Oh my God, they're on both sides of me." "It's a paw sticking out." These are among my favorite quotes from this clip of My Extreme Animal Phobia, your new second favorite television show.
Later in the episode they showed her the World Wide Web. May she rest in peace.
You hear the door slam and realize there's nowhere left to run
You feel the cold hand and wonder if you'll ever see the sun
You close your eyes and hope that this is just imagination, girl!
But all the while you hear the creature creeping up behind
You're out of time
'Cause this is—WHAT THE FU—oh, it's just my reflection.
I'll explain what's goin' on… That kitten has no fucking clue how to work a mechanical jack.
[via Tastefully Offensive]